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Squirt [Multi Goal]
Date: October 21, 2022
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Squirt [Multi Goal]
That's true, but the cheating isn't normal even for a 22 yo.
Tho op should not date girls that young. It's icky as hell.
Thank you for the feedback. I do give suggestions i just pick what they want to do. I will try to be more assertive
I appreciate your comment! These are all the exact same questions running in my head to which I can't find an answer and I'm not sure how to even find the answer. There are very less chances of my parents being in the kids' lives but I'm positive of his family being in it since they already know about us. And about the religion, we both are okay with it and even decided that it's up to the kids to decide on what they want to follow and believe in.
He needs a mirror to look at where to place the blame.
How are you supposed to know who he is planning on committing to?
He’s being a jerk. Tell her and let her have all the information to make an informed choice. He’s clearly not someone you should have in your life if he would put you in that situation and pass the blame. Let him go. Do you remember why you broke up?
I agree. I also think that people should learn to communicate better. This could have been avoided with a hard no.
Anyone who can hurt an animal without remorse is trash, drunk or not. Fuck that guy.
If you don't feel comfortable having sex until you're on BC then don't. If he truly likes you he will understand. Plus it will make the deed more special once it does happen. It still leaves a bit of mystery right now.
This seems to me like she is gaslighting you . Look a tad more into the act of gaslighting and being gaslight , cross reference and if it is a yes end things with her then and there , I've been living with a gaslighter my whole life and picked up a few things from her .
Noticing his own sister is pretty gross. Those wondering eyes of his has gotten to an extreme level to where he doesn’t realize that he is being a creep. You should let him know this. Maybe slap him upside his head whenever he does this to jolt him out of it.
It's ✨️your✨️ wedding. Invite whoever you want. You don't need to be stressed that day, regardless of what other people say.
It’s a bit premature to ask this question. You’re assuming that the break will end with reconciliation. If you know for a fact that you’re getting back together then it’s not a break. It’s just having alone time. If you are actually on a break then there is no immediate need to tell him. If you get back together then yes you should tell him. Not out of guilt but just because you both should be sexually informed. A monogamous relationship provides a degree of sexual safety. If it gets opened even briefly then you should both be forthcoming about any potential exposure that could compromise any perceived sexual safety.
You already know.
YES he is just trying to get under your skin, you dont owe him an email, a conversation, anything!
If he says hi you can say “hi, excuse me” and just go talk to othet people, live your life.
He sounds like an exhausting a-hole, if I were you if he said hi I might smile or nod or say hi back and just keep walking/walk away.
No response IS a response, once youve broken up with someone, really, unless you two share kids or are still conducting some kind of business together, what else is there to say?
For things like his chores he clearly doesn't just “see” that they need to be done, so a simple solution is for him to schedule them. E.g. every Mon, Wed, and Friday morning he empties the trash and the Kitty litter box whether or not they are full.
Give himmlotsbof praise when they are done, and if he forgets give him a gentle reminder along with some encouragement and praise
It might be that you expect more from her than before even tho she is still doing the same things than before. I might have adhd I get excited and bored very easily. It's very difficult in relationships, because everything feels like something has changed based on your current mood. Maybe try to focus something else in your life. But if you start feeling really bad, talk to her and leave her if gets too complicated. 2 adhd is a huge mess where both are like “what is going on right now?”
I don't buy his story first he lied, then he hedged the truth.
I dont think you have the right to validate people's feelings, sir. What might make you feel a certain way stems from you and may not make someone else feel the same emotion. You stub your toe, people react differently. Shout in anger? Some tears due to how much it hurts? Overly anger like who the fuck put this here for me to bang my toe on it? Differently feelings. How would you feel if you were excited with something and your wife was like nah your favorite book sucks. I don't get why you like it.
i'm extremely worried about what “scary moments” he's conditioning you to be ready for…
Listen to her, first and foremost. Let her know you are there for her and that you're open to anything she needs. Don't try and fix this for her, or find the perfect words, it's her words (or lack of) that are important. Be willing to listen if she wants to talk about it over and over, or not talk about it at all. Ask her what she needs. If she needs a distraction, give her one. If she needs to work it through, listen. If she needs to cry, offer arms and tissues. If she needs to get smashed, offer care, comfort and safety.
Be there for her, don't think that you need to or even can fix this. Be the support, not the solution.
No. Just no.
Your husband is a jerk. How is his sex life? Because I’d find it hard to be intimate with such an immature insensitive prat.
This is something you talk to a therapist about, not strangers on reddit.
Just like expensive artworks – nice to look at, but wouldn't want to own / pay for one.
Obviously that's just an analogy and I am by no means saying that a woman should be compared to any sort of object or viewed as property.
The idea though is that although a lot of guys like to look at such women, either for sexual purposes or whatever, a lot of those same guys would never want to date such women.
It may or may not be a false stereotype, but the notion exists that these women are more likely to be gold-diggers, cheat on you, be hard to deal with, never be happy with the body they have and other reasons. The exact same goes for escorts, sex-workers, OnlyFan creators, IG “models”, etc.
Absolutely. We’ve been working on that too. I’m truly working on it. And I do respect her. Just something I need to figure out with my therapist.
I agree with this. Also to add, he can buy some dental dams, which can also help as the taste of the oils or lube might not be great.
always believe the crap people say when drunk 28 is NOT the end of the clock, what the hell??!?! If you are referring to children…..lots of people have kids in their 30s, 40s and 50s and older. So don't come in here with the “i'm not 30 yet and the clock is ticking bullshit”
The ONLY clock that is ending is the clock on this relationship.
The only kid you have his him, and put his ass up for adoption baby! You don't need that.
if he treated you great, you wouldn't be here. if he was sooo good to you, you wouldn't be here.
I wouldn't bother talking to him, because he is going to deny it. he will gaslight you and call you crazy and will never own up to it. or will do the “ohh that's not what I meant” bullshit.
Think about what you really want out of a convo with him. if he admits everything, then what? if he denies everything, then what?
i wouldn't talk to him, and i sure wouldn't WASTE another minute on him
Him not taking it seriously at first, it does matter and I get why that upsets you. It’s just that issue has nothing to do with my point, that what you’re doing now is guilt tripping. Just because what he did upset you, doesn’t mean it’s ok to guilt trip him now.
Thank you for your perspective! I appreciate it.
If you're a fan of your life and also live with a woman with BPD then you might just be a masochist…
Seems like he is trying to push you to file for divorce. Then he can blame you for it instead of taking responsibility for his part
Seems like he is trying to push you to file for divorce. Then he can blame you for it instead of taking responsibility for his part
So you really think your ex is going to want to have an affair with you? You think she's gonna be attracted to a dude who wants to leave his wife and break his fully established family over an obsession that has grown in his head? Because this is all in your head. There isn't actually anything between you and your ex.
You really aren't a very good person. You seem very selfish, seem unbothered by hurting the women in your life.
It is both interesting and uninteresting reading this post though. Interesting to see the perspective of people like you – but also not interesting…because I don't feel like I gained anything from it. You're a few years older than me, and more established in terms of marriage, kids etc. But I'm reading this thinking where is the growth? Aren't people supposed to be become better versions of themselves as they get older? You seem to be regressing in maturity and severely lacking in integrity. But we're 10 years on from the last time you did this…the stakes are much higher now. I'm sorry for your wife, sorry for your ex, and disappointed by you dude.
Clearly you need better examples around you, better mentors. You also need to look up limerance – because it just about sums up this post. You are controlled by your fantasies. You do not live in reality. And now it controls your thoughts all day, every day? It isn't your wife or your exes job to fix you dude.
She belongs to the streets OP, you agreed to still act married, she cheated on you with at least 30 people! Get yourself some IC and take it from there.
30 different people is A LOT! I hope you are getting checked for STD’s if you had any relations with her during that time, she was really going at it.
Didn’t you say you agreed to stay married and “act accordingly”? That would mean she just straight up cheated on you…. 30 times. I’ve seen a lot of doormats here but being cheated on 30 times and still taking her back would make you possibly the biggest doormat of all time. Come on, really? You know what to do. And make sure you tell her why you’re not willing to take her back. Thank god that therapist got the truth out of her.
Train your dogs if you cant look after them properly.
She can't be that sick with strep if she can yell and scream at you. I've had strep 3 times and your throat is raw, scratchy and sore af. Trying to talk in a normal level is painful enough.
She is being overdramatic.
You break up with him. He's not someone you want to be with: this is a fundamental incompatibility, and should you get pregnant he would not be there with you – at best you'd be hiding it from him, and at worst he'd be calling you a murderer. Don't try to fix him, just go.
You’re a placeholder. He put excuse after excuse in front of you.
Now all those excuses have finished he’s using your “personality” as an excuse because this isn’t something you can change.
He never had any intention of marrying you and has wasted quite a few of your childbearing years. He’s a twat.
She only gets the lip fillers done twice a year. And no, they are not noticeable. Not at all. The difference between her with and without it is pretty subtle. I also don’t know why people keep bringing up how common this is. It’s not THAT common. I’ve never dated a woman before that had things like this done (to my knowledge), and have also not heard of it being commonplace with female friends. Additionally, commonality doesn’t matter, if it’s something I’m uncomfortable with, then I’m allowed to not want that. Although for me it’s more about the motivation behind these procedures and not the procedures themselves that turned me off.
Definitely. If he is similar to the majority of men in this world that will be a plus. Tell him from the start your not interested in 3sums etc to shut that down quick because that will be his 1st thought…was mine anyway. But it's cool if your both comfortable with it…you can point out nice women when your both people watching and he should feel special because your greedy enough to have the choice of both and youve still chosen him….over all the beautiful women you've chosen a stinky hairy man-tell him that lol
Ugh! The age difference ? he’s clearly trying to maintain an imbalanced power dynamic. Gross!
I wish I could give you an award!
If this is a decent guy with whom you have things in common this has all the ingredients to be a great friendship. But at the moment it doesn't even sound like you're a couple.
Does that make sense to you?
Almost being the operative word here. End of the day, unless your Helen Mirren, we're all ugly once we hit 70+. For most of us, it's even sooner.
He wanted to break up with her at the start. Cos at the beginning u dont know the other person , just how they look. She may not be “conventionally” attractive but maybe he really loved her after getting to know her and became attracted to her.
given her situation she should get a tubal ligation anyway, for her own future and safety. Yes, it is an invasive surgery, but it is 10x safer than a fourth pregnancy, and less of a burden than getting another child with another man would cause.
Same for OP of course. He should be getting vasectomy ASAP, anything else is playing Russian Roulette with his dick.
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I don’t expect anything. I am selfish. I am working on it. I am leaving her alone at this point.
I hope regardless of what happens, you’re able to take your daughter in and give her a safe, happy and stable home.
She can sue you. Anyone can sue for anything. There are very few barriers to filing a lawsuit, even if the suit has no chance of winning.
She would (if she has any idea what she's doing) file a suit in small claims court. If that happens, you need to show up to the hearing and bring any evidence that you have that you don't owe her this money. The judge would listen to her, and listen to you, and make a ruling about whether you owe the money.
You would not need to hire a lawyer. Usually lawyers aren't even allowed in small claims court, but in some places they are.
So it sounds like you can either pay her the $2000 she's demanding, or she can sue you and if you lose you would have to pay her the $2000. So my advice would be to let her sue if she wants to, especially if you don't believe you owe her the money.
She is really great, and she was very open about it. Thank you for reaffirming that for me and making me realize I am overthinking this. I guess I am just weird with past flings, I know I have some trust issues from past relationships I need to work on clearly, lol. Thanks again for your input and making me realize it's all in my head.
She will definitely be mad that you are sleeping with her ex, an ex that was super shady to her.
You don’t care about your friend. You also like that you’re being shady and deceitful because it adds some suspense to your sex like.
This will all blow up on your face and you’ll deserve it.
You seen to tiptoe around your gf alot…
Does she usually react badly when you don't give her her way?
Has he maybe secretly taken up urine therapy without your knowledge?
He doesn’t love you, he has a virginity fetish. I’m so sorry. He’s sexually excited by the idea of a naive inexperienced young girl because he wants to feel power over you, do you understand how disgusting that is? It may even be worse that just a virginity fetish, it may be he’s a pedo and a young virgin is as close as he can legally get.
That doesn't sound bad.
She may actually need dilators to get there. I hope you can encourage her to talk to her OB-Gyn. This is really common and there are treatments, but it doesn't usually just go away without help.
Dejavu
She’s lying, she’s wants to sleep around but is only backtracking cause she didn’t think you’d say no
It’s really hard to know what to do in these situations. Depending on how strict her family is, she could be in danger if she were to say no to their demands. There are plenty of stories of women who have been murdered by their parents in the name of honour and even more stories of women who broke free but were lured back and murdered. Love marriages are a thing so ask her if her parents would be okay with her marrying for love instead of someone they arranged for her.
So either she has been cheating this entire time or she is embarrassed to be with you