Right. I know I am lingering because of the emotional connect here, but this will take time I guess. Nice to see another take on this situation. Thanks for the advice.
If you want expensive gifts, you should have chosen someone who's older and has an established job. Who expects expensive gifts from a 21 year old who probably hasn't even finished education?
Don't have kids with him. Your course of action is pretty clear: you need to be able to support yourself and then leave. Which is obviously easier said than done but depending on your situation it could be finding another job, putting money aside (separate finances now) and finding a flat to share with roommates for instance.
There is however no way that this relationship can work and especially not adding kids to the mix when you already cannot support yourself on your own.
You don't have to say that you saw her phone though. You can say that someone show them together. ? Sorry for lying but when they are not honest with you you don't have to be honest with them.
i have no issue with my partner’s past, and i’ve never really spoken with partners about my past or theirs, but this is a gross oversimplification.
you can be fully okay with your partner having a past, but that doesn’t mean you’re okay with it not staying in the past. i don’t see the need to villify the bf here because i’m sure many people would have those intrusive thoughts even if they don’t want to admit it.
i’ve never been in this situation but the human side of me understands how hard it could be to keep those thoughts away every time you see that person, and eventually those thoughts could get overwhelming.
i absolutely do not agree with or condone how he is choosing to deal with it though, being passive aggressive and using it against her in arguments is completely wrong.
honestly, i think the only solution here is to cut the friend from both their lives entirely, which may happen soon based on OP’s comments. if that’s impossible, maybe therapy but i don’t see the need after 3 months.
There’s no definitive act of cheating. Cheating is whether she betrayed your trust. Personally, I’d not want my gf to go nude into a bar, she knows that, if she did, that would be cheating.
Yes I understand the excitement of the “dating phase.” But I know that when I listen to her talk about things that I don't normally have interest in, I still am a supportive husband that will happily entertain it and listen for hours. It just hurts to know it can't be returned. And let's be clear, it definitely isn't boring subjects – I mean when I say something about how I feel (let's say we are painting a room and she asks if we can do blue, if I say I really don't like blue, it feels like I'm not heard)
Yes I understand the excitement of the “dating phase.” But I know that when I listen to her talk about things that I don't normally have interest in, I still am a supportive husband that will happily entertain it and listen for hours. It just hurts to know it can't be returned. And let's be clear, it definitely isn't boring subjects – I mean when I say something about how I feel (let's say we are painting a room and she asks if we can do blue, if I say I really don't like blue, it feels like I'm not heard)
Right. I know I am lingering because of the emotional connect here, but this will take time I guess. Nice to see another take on this situation. Thanks for the advice.
I've also been told that arousal is consent, it is not. What he did to you was rape. This individual is a rapist.
… is he your (over protective) dad or your boyfriend?
If you want expensive gifts, you should have chosen someone who's older and has an established job. Who expects expensive gifts from a 21 year old who probably hasn't even finished education?
Don't have kids with him. Your course of action is pretty clear: you need to be able to support yourself and then leave. Which is obviously easier said than done but depending on your situation it could be finding another job, putting money aside (separate finances now) and finding a flat to share with roommates for instance.
There is however no way that this relationship can work and especially not adding kids to the mix when you already cannot support yourself on your own.
You don't have to say that you saw her phone though. You can say that someone show them together. ? Sorry for lying but when they are not honest with you you don't have to be honest with them.
i have no issue with my partner’s past, and i’ve never really spoken with partners about my past or theirs, but this is a gross oversimplification.
you can be fully okay with your partner having a past, but that doesn’t mean you’re okay with it not staying in the past. i don’t see the need to villify the bf here because i’m sure many people would have those intrusive thoughts even if they don’t want to admit it.
i’ve never been in this situation but the human side of me understands how hard it could be to keep those thoughts away every time you see that person, and eventually those thoughts could get overwhelming.
i absolutely do not agree with or condone how he is choosing to deal with it though, being passive aggressive and using it against her in arguments is completely wrong.
honestly, i think the only solution here is to cut the friend from both their lives entirely, which may happen soon based on OP’s comments. if that’s impossible, maybe therapy but i don’t see the need after 3 months.
Definitely insecure, but also big factor is the Threatened Masculinity now.
Because you are now becoming stronger not only physically but mentally as well, he now is starting to see you are a “threat”
Like in the animal kingdom, the alpha is always the strongest in the pack that runs the pack.
Highlander, there can only be one.
There’s no definitive act of cheating. Cheating is whether she betrayed your trust. Personally, I’d not want my gf to go nude into a bar, she knows that, if she did, that would be cheating.
Yes I understand the excitement of the “dating phase.” But I know that when I listen to her talk about things that I don't normally have interest in, I still am a supportive husband that will happily entertain it and listen for hours. It just hurts to know it can't be returned. And let's be clear, it definitely isn't boring subjects – I mean when I say something about how I feel (let's say we are painting a room and she asks if we can do blue, if I say I really don't like blue, it feels like I'm not heard)
Yes I understand the excitement of the “dating phase.” But I know that when I listen to her talk about things that I don't normally have interest in, I still am a supportive husband that will happily entertain it and listen for hours. It just hurts to know it can't be returned. And let's be clear, it definitely isn't boring subjects – I mean when I say something about how I feel (let's say we are painting a room and she asks if we can do blue, if I say I really don't like blue, it feels like I'm not heard)
You only found out because one of the guys she has been fucking told you.
What about all the others?
Why would you ever forgive her?
Don’t make a wife out of a ho