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Hey! I want to please with new panties!!! [GOAL MET]
Date: October 10, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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While I applaud you for leaving your husband, you literally blew up your family with an affair. This is not 'stronger than ever'. You may be bolder in your decision making but this is not a stronger family resulting from your behaviour. You approached reddit because you felt guilty. You should feel guilty, you went about destroying your family all wrong instead of doing this in a way that causes the most problems for you. Have you been cheated on? do you think it is appropriate behaviour? Do you want to teach your children that cheating is acceptable?
Oh boy…..tread very carefully because if he will do that to his ex, what won't he do to you. I think you need to talk to a lawyer and his ex and the police.
Hire a bouncer for your wedding or something. Just one guy, nothing major. Tell your in laws including BIL that if he shows up in a clown suit he will be escorted out by a bouncer. Don’t waiver. And no, MIL and SIL won’t just let him in, because he’ll be kicked out. If they try it let him in, say no, and tell them they’ll get kicked out too.
Now is the time to be assertive. Idc if they think you’re mean, if they make you out to be the bad guy. Be the bad guy. It doesn’t matter.
I see two options.
Compromise, is it something that's possible to do just for the weekend. So you're not stuck in that situation for 1-2 weeks, but your partner still gets what he wants.
You be honest (I mean this actually still needs to happen if you're willing to go with the compromise.) Let him know it simply doesn't sound relaxing to you, assuming he knows you well enough to know you're introverted, let him know that for you this isn't the type of holiday you would choose as you would often have to feel like you're needing to be “on” for his friends. And for you personally it's not something you would want to use your leave up for.
If you still “don’t know what to do”, after all the advice to exit this relationship and save yourself, I’m not sure what it is you’re looking for here.
This is a classic bait and switch. You are being scammed into 1) giving up your apartment and independence 2) quitting your job/being a stay-at-home father to an absentee mother so the grandparents can have grandkids 3) taking the burden (which sounds like it is cultural) of family life and the restrictions that come with that off of her shoulders and taking them on yourself.
Re-read this post. It is absolutely bonkers that you think this is even something to consider. She isn't the right one. She is a grifter who is only out for herself.