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Date: December 29, 2022
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  1. Hello /u/Any_Lingonberry408,

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  2. Firstly – no do not stay friends, as soon as possible cut all contact with her.

    Secondly – you only move if it’s her apartment, or if you can’t afford to pay the rent/lease yourself. She’s the one who tried to change the terms of the relationship, so she leaves otherwise.

    And thirdly – same as above, she sleeps on the couch (unless it’s her bed)

    You do not owe this person any comfort, so stop putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Start putting yourself first.

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  4. So a 30yo woman married a 21yo man and forced him to have a child with her when he wasn't ready?

    If the genders were reversed, this sub would be telling you to run.

    You were at different stages of life and she forced you to have a child when you weren't ready. Now she's using a mistake you made as fodder in arguments. That doesn't sound healthy at all.

    You need to be clear to her that you've already apologised and made every effort to ensure your son was fine after and you don't deserve to be punished for eternity. If she's going to continue bringing it up and punishing you, you need to decide if this is a relationship you can stay in.

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  6. Guys are clueless. We often don't realize if we are doing something (or not doing something) that makes our SO upset. This is why we hate “If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to tell you.” If a woman won't straight up tell us what to do to FIX this, we can't. We can also forget small details. Let me retell this from a guy's perspective:

    GF finally got through with that issue she was having and we had an amazing time. After, while I was thinking about lunch at my parents, I realized I had to head home for something. I completely forgot to help her clean up, but she reminded me, so that's fine. Off to my house. I hope I'm not late.

    Actually, BF probably forgot/stopped thinking about clean up immediately after in the same way anyone would after a successful 'pass the salt?'

    It sounds like you might be upset with the speed he left afterwards. If so, let me back up from a guy's perspective:

    Lunch at my parents today. Oh crap! I have to go home and get X. I don't have time…no, it's been too long since we've gotten together. If GF is up for it, we can squeeze in a quickie. I know we've both been missing that. Maybe if we don't stay too late we can have round two later. That'd be nice. So lucky to get that fine girl. I hope I last longer tonight. I don't want to have her doubting my staying power.

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  7. If you feel no attraction for your wife, why are you staying? Why are you using all of these excuses as a way to simply say that you don't have feelings for her?

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  8. Yes this is absolutely what happened. I tried remaining friends. She kept messaging me over Facebook and texts about going on more dates. Invited me over her college graduation party, and then I found out it was just going to be me and her and wanted us to go on another date. That's when I started ignoring her.

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  9. Yes, in every single game he has played with both me AND my wife, he has recorded every move, and then analyzed the games with us after. The fact that you imagine that to be some unacceptably impossible task for a 10 year old is pretty telling. In any case, you've clearly made up your mind that I'm a monster and nothing I say will change that. I won't respond to you anymore.

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  11. This sounds like it could be an intentional pregnancy on her part. Leave though for sure. If you don't want to be a parent and resentment is all you feel for her, then staying only compounds it. Leaving is going to suck but staying will be worse.

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  15. Why are people talking about suppressed memories , she cheated and hid it from you for 12+ years

    She probably figured she can now reveal it because someone may have snitched on her and because you have been together so long, have multiple kids and that it is unlikely you will do anything about it.

    The only thing you do know is if it happens again or has happened since the event you will never find out about it because she can keep bad secrets a long time

    I know what I would do but the outcome is up to you

    I wouldn't talk to her again until you make up your mind.

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  17. Lol wtf. I'm a FT student rn studying for the MCAT and my husband not only does all the chores and I pretty much only vacuum, AND he takes on two jobs when I feel extra stressed about working PT (literally work study and one shift a week) because it is a job to get into med school. I'm a way older applicant.

    I get that you're younger and he likely doesn't have an idea of what real life can still be but he doesn't know the meaning of partnership and investment, he's just out for himself. He will ALWAYS nickel and dime you, and if you stay with him after you start making “doctor money” he's not going to understand that that's not profit yet, you'll have to pay off debt which will likely include student loans. He's going to demand you pay for all of the things, especially if he isn't making any more money than he is now by that time.

    This is not the kind of life partner you want. The thing about med school is it is generally low risk high reward as far as the rest of your life. You are adding unnecessary risk to it by stressing yourself out over this kind of relationship. Do what you need to do to succeed in life, that's what matters most. Not some dude who feels the need to black and white contributions to your living situation.

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  19. I don't think you're going to figure it out right away.

    Your bf living with his parents is one thing – both of you living there is different. Young adults gain life skills by living away from parents. Also there can be unforeseen tensions between a female partner and the MIL-figure. If I were you I would have no enthusiasm at all for moving in with them.

    You have made a good start on your career where you are. Although relocating would be possible, it would sacrifice a lot of momentum. So bf needs to have a really good reason to make you go somewhere new.

    It may sound mean but bf's mom needs to find her own purpose in her later life other than sucking sustenance from her young. (Yes, I have an ax to grind.)

    Stay where you are and let bf decide what he wants to do. That's what I mean when I say the answer will not be reached terribly soon.

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