46 thoughts on “NathaxaLeans live webcams for YOU!”
You should have done the same honestly. If your relationship isn’t stable and you’ve almost broken up several times, now is absolutely not the time to start getting your children more involved. You need to reevaluate your priorities.
Nooo because the obvious solution to everything even remotely unprepared for is to break up. Or at least that what I'm led to believe by almost every post I've read.
Crazy, either improve the cooking or stop altogether. OP already said it's not an issue so i agree with this and not the maniacs here who see demons behind every decision.
And dogs shouldn't eat ppl food but its not like the guy was trying to hurt the dog. As a child i gave bits of my food at every meal. Am i also an animal abuser? Seriously, if OP wouldve came here saying 3 months living together and bf said he doesn't like my cooking..answer: leave, find someone who respects your efforts, clearly hes immature and can't accept that people have different tastes. The food isn't bad, he's just a bad person so he can't taste good food.
Like that's the logic here almost and it's shocking to say the least
And if it is fine/legal where she lives? She deliberately made a choice to not do it. That's why I asked my question.
So I’m just stating that there maybe be reasons beyond her control that she kept the baby.
Maybe. Doesn't sound like she's forthcoming.
Whatever her reasons are she doesn’t have to state them in her post.
She doesn't have to do anything including making this post.
Especially when her reasons Or lack there of for keeping the baby are irrelevant to the post and issue at hand.
When someone posts their issue, they won't recieve comments solely about that one issue. People will pick up red flags. Is this your first time on this sub?
Chlamydia specifically is an STI that women usually don’t show symptoms for so it’s possible she contracted it before you, though you got pretty lucky that you didn’t catch it
Give the car to them both? What a weird thing to suggest. The gift is for her. Although it seems she has a good relationship with her husband, why would he give a gift like that to both? Marriages fail all the time, I wouldn't give a gift to my friend that can be potentially used against her. When I was in my abusive relationship, my ex never let me use his car when I was in a beater or with no car. As soon as I bought a car for myself, he started pushing for me to let him use my car, while still not letting me use his. When I pushed back, he choked me in front of my son and almost killed me. I know this is a gigantic jump because in no part it says her husband is abusive. But still, sometimes people from outside never know what is going on inside. The gift was meant for her, there's no reason to give it to both.
I'm trying. His shifts move so this holiday period most week days we have them. My girls both have appointments but I'm trying to book suitable days – unfortunately his kids are here M-Th then T-F the next two weeks (I also updated my post with clearer detail)
I'm wondering why, if he was driving did it matter one bit that you wanted a 4th glass of wine? It's not like you were pounding shots left and right.
Also, I will be dammed if my wife would tell me at an event not to have more than x account of drinks. Nor would I tell her that, we are both grown and adults and we know how much alcohol each of us can handle.
He sounds very immature and controlling. Controlling you trying to tell you how much to drink and very immature by “hiding” from you.
There have been a few lulls in our friendship since then, and I’d say it’s not fully back yet. We always stayed friends, it was just the level of involvement I had in her life and family’s that changed. After the second time, I said I didn’t want to be around him. I feel like, it’s just sort of happened, now it’s over. Idk. I was never like “permanently mad” that she was upset or blamed me for whatever, it was more just generally sad that she felt her only options at the time were to stay. But now I hope it’s over.
You can forgive, but you don't need to be involved in her life. However it's understandable that you may want to rekindle the friendship and to help.
If she's only looking for friendship then you can look at taking that slowly, but you may need to make it clear that you are not her lover or a father to the child.
If she's looking for more, then you should understand that you'd essentially be beginning a whole new relationship with a stranger. She betrayed you and only returned when she was losing her AP. Reconcilation is a long and difficult road that'll take years of work.
In either case you need to be able to trust her. Even basic friendship needs trust. Until she's able to regain your trust you should tread very carefully, especially if she's looking for more support than you can offer. You should also understand that this is a different person now, not the girl from your years of hopes and dreams. You can move on and find someone else to have a happy life with. Good luck.
You gotta tell her. Be gentle, but honest. “I don’t want to make this a thing, but…there was some pee in your pubes the other day and I don’t want to make you feel ashamed or anything, and I don’t have a problem with the existence of pubes, but can I ask you to trim them or maybe use some wipes or something before I go down?”
She probably just got caught off guard and wasn’t ready since this has never been an issue before. Maybe wait and if you see a problem during your next sexual encounter, that would be a good time to ask if you could maybe clean her up a bit first?
Not all relationships are meant to last a life time, and you need to learn how to gracefully let them go and accept that they have run their course.
The simple reality here is that you are only 18, and as a romantic relationship this one is unlikely to last. You are both going to change & grow so much over the next few years and you will likely find that you are no longer a good match.
So just enjoy what you have, while you have it. It will either last, or it won’t. You will be OK no matter what!
Correct, he matters more, clearly, and he knows it, which really kills me.
I often hear that Golden Children were as abused growing up as the scapegoat, which I agree with. However, look at them now – both mid 20s, one getting married and one graduating from med school, and still living under the shadow of their upbringing, except one is wilting and the other is happily blooming.
I've taken a turn here – I think the brother is the biggest asshole of them all. The entitlement is staggering, and much like when women open their posts by saying “my partner is amazing”, I'm rudely skeptical of this man's love for this sister he's trying to shove onto his shadow; he has no interest in sharing the spotlight, he's fully bought into being a golden boy.
Whether an age gap relationship works is entirely dependent on the personalities of the people involved and how well they fit together.
I previously was in a relationship with a man 22 years my senior for 10 years. I had a stepdaughter who was one year older than me. Although people initially regarded our relationship through a negative lens, that changed as the relationship progressed and the years added on. The relationship was loving and wonderful and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We grew apart though as often happens in age gap relationships but we separated as good friends and still are good friends to this day.
Now I am married to a man 10 years my junior. We don't notice the age difference and he is the love of my life. We are in complete sync in regards of life values, wants and expectations and I wouldn't want to change anything here either for the world.
So no, not all age gap relationships are about manipulation or taking advantage of someone. Sometimes it is about two odd people finding compatibility and peace in one another.
My advice to you is to reserve your judgement and treat them with dignity and respect ? They might be together for a longer time than you'd expect
When she told me that she is not up for a relationship. I cut her off from every aspect of the communication. I also clarified to her that I can't continue talking to her as I don't want our conversation to go further.
I didn't have the issue with her not getting in the relationship. I respected her boundaries but the way she started conversing with me gave me slight hope.
The problem is that she doesn't respect my boundaries.
I would absolutely consider it cheating. You two need to sit down and come to an agreement on what constitutes cheating in your relationship. You cannot have two different definitions. This has to be solved.
I think anything that happens where you wouldn't want your partner to find out is cheating. Whether it be emotional or physical, if you don't want your partner to know, you fucked up.
I'd highly suggest consulting with a lawyer. He's been living there long enough that he will have residency in virtually every state, so you will have to evict him if he won't leave voluntarily.
If you think he will react badly, the first thing is do is get yourself some protection. A firearm and training would be ideal. Pepper spray or a stun gun will also suffice. It's best to break up in a public place just to be safe. If he freaks out, there will be plenty of witnesses and people to step in.
Ideally he'll peacefully gather his things and leave your home. But be prepared to potentially involve law enforcement. If he gets violent you can get a restraining order and have him removed from the home immediately. I'd also suggest having a friend or family member stay with you in your home during this time if at all possible. People are a lot less likely to do stupid things when there are eyes on them.
I'm a coward and she's very strong willed so if she disagrees with something I do I will very likely cave and not do it again (even if I love it).
It sounds to me like OP has had to hide things from her for a long while in order to keep full freedom over his choices. He says he's a coward, but the other part of that dynamic is that she's incredibly overbearing. I'm a strong-willed person, and I know that I have to be careful about what I say to people so I don't bear over their choices. She's known this is an issue for him for some time. I don't think it's at all fair to shame him for a dynamic that she's largely in charge over.
I just want us to be bf/gf. We are definitely not kids. Especially with everything we’ve been through. It’s not like i’m asking him to propose tomorrow.
Apparently, some women have more of a responsive arousal and its only when you're being stimulated that you become aroused. Do you enjoy the sex when you're having it?
Talk to your Doctor – but if you're on HRT I guess you already are. And maybe literally putting it on your calendar and in your daily schedule might help.
Send him a breakup text, voice mail, email, and then block him when you know he's received it. Don't give him a chance to talk you out of your decision or to give it “one more chance,” just be done. Make sure you're safe in case he doesn't take the rejection and lack of access to you well. Then enjoy being single.
You should have done the same honestly. If your relationship isn’t stable and you’ve almost broken up several times, now is absolutely not the time to start getting your children more involved. You need to reevaluate your priorities.
Nooo because the obvious solution to everything even remotely unprepared for is to break up. Or at least that what I'm led to believe by almost every post I've read.
Crazy, either improve the cooking or stop altogether. OP already said it's not an issue so i agree with this and not the maniacs here who see demons behind every decision.
And dogs shouldn't eat ppl food but its not like the guy was trying to hurt the dog. As a child i gave bits of my food at every meal. Am i also an animal abuser? Seriously, if OP wouldve came here saying 3 months living together and bf said he doesn't like my cooking..answer: leave, find someone who respects your efforts, clearly hes immature and can't accept that people have different tastes. The food isn't bad, he's just a bad person so he can't taste good food.
Like that's the logic here almost and it's shocking to say the least
It’s just a dance. I would just get over it.
Relationships without sex are still valid as long as both people agree
That's exactly what I'm trying to find out. If she's not in an end-of-life situation, then she should be able to get discharged.
I talked to one of her nurses, who was super nice. So I'll try and ask her.
And if it is fine/legal where she lives? She deliberately made a choice to not do it. That's why I asked my question.
So I’m just stating that there maybe be reasons beyond her control that she kept the baby.
Maybe. Doesn't sound like she's forthcoming.
Whatever her reasons are she doesn’t have to state them in her post.
She doesn't have to do anything including making this post.
Especially when her reasons Or lack there of for keeping the baby are irrelevant to the post and issue at hand.
When someone posts their issue, they won't recieve comments solely about that one issue. People will pick up red flags. Is this your first time on this sub?
You’re welcome. I’ve read some of your comments and there it seems like you want to do better. I hope it can be salvaged.
If you in fact sent pictures of a check, call your bank immediately tomorrow. My good friend is a banker. They are there to help you avoid scams.
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Chlamydia specifically is an STI that women usually don’t show symptoms for so it’s possible she contracted it before you, though you got pretty lucky that you didn’t catch it
Incel ass take
OMG, that is a horrendous read
Give the car to them both? What a weird thing to suggest. The gift is for her. Although it seems she has a good relationship with her husband, why would he give a gift like that to both? Marriages fail all the time, I wouldn't give a gift to my friend that can be potentially used against her. When I was in my abusive relationship, my ex never let me use his car when I was in a beater or with no car. As soon as I bought a car for myself, he started pushing for me to let him use my car, while still not letting me use his. When I pushed back, he choked me in front of my son and almost killed me. I know this is a gigantic jump because in no part it says her husband is abusive. But still, sometimes people from outside never know what is going on inside. The gift was meant for her, there's no reason to give it to both.
Why are you working 80 hour weeks? That’s insane. Does he work?
I'm trying. His shifts move so this holiday period most week days we have them. My girls both have appointments but I'm trying to book suitable days – unfortunately his kids are here M-Th then T-F the next two weeks (I also updated my post with clearer detail)
She's 20. Their age gap is almost half of her life. He's too old for her.
I'm wondering why, if he was driving did it matter one bit that you wanted a 4th glass of wine? It's not like you were pounding shots left and right.
Also, I will be dammed if my wife would tell me at an event not to have more than x account of drinks. Nor would I tell her that, we are both grown and adults and we know how much alcohol each of us can handle.
He sounds very immature and controlling. Controlling you trying to tell you how much to drink and very immature by “hiding” from you.
boyfriend (33M)
me (21F)
sometimes it's all you need to know
There have been a few lulls in our friendship since then, and I’d say it’s not fully back yet. We always stayed friends, it was just the level of involvement I had in her life and family’s that changed. After the second time, I said I didn’t want to be around him. I feel like, it’s just sort of happened, now it’s over. Idk. I was never like “permanently mad” that she was upset or blamed me for whatever, it was more just generally sad that she felt her only options at the time were to stay. But now I hope it’s over.
Did she say what prompted her change of heart? Does she have friends her age who are pregnant/raising children and got scared off?
You can forgive, but you don't need to be involved in her life. However it's understandable that you may want to rekindle the friendship and to help.
If she's only looking for friendship then you can look at taking that slowly, but you may need to make it clear that you are not her lover or a father to the child.
If she's looking for more, then you should understand that you'd essentially be beginning a whole new relationship with a stranger. She betrayed you and only returned when she was losing her AP. Reconcilation is a long and difficult road that'll take years of work.
In either case you need to be able to trust her. Even basic friendship needs trust. Until she's able to regain your trust you should tread very carefully, especially if she's looking for more support than you can offer. You should also understand that this is a different person now, not the girl from your years of hopes and dreams. You can move on and find someone else to have a happy life with. Good luck.
You gotta tell her. Be gentle, but honest. “I don’t want to make this a thing, but…there was some pee in your pubes the other day and I don’t want to make you feel ashamed or anything, and I don’t have a problem with the existence of pubes, but can I ask you to trim them or maybe use some wipes or something before I go down?”
She probably just got caught off guard and wasn’t ready since this has never been an issue before. Maybe wait and if you see a problem during your next sexual encounter, that would be a good time to ask if you could maybe clean her up a bit first?
I feel like I could read this a lot better if there were some periods, paragraphs and full words lol
Throwing him out might be the only thing that will wake him up. He doesn’t offer you anything apart from stress and an extra mouth to feed.
Bro she caught you cheating on her. You’re lucky she didn’t kick you out. Shut the fuck up.
You can’t do anything, and that is ok.
Not all relationships are meant to last a life time, and you need to learn how to gracefully let them go and accept that they have run their course.
The simple reality here is that you are only 18, and as a romantic relationship this one is unlikely to last. You are both going to change & grow so much over the next few years and you will likely find that you are no longer a good match.
So just enjoy what you have, while you have it. It will either last, or it won’t. You will be OK no matter what!
Correct, he matters more, clearly, and he knows it, which really kills me.
I often hear that Golden Children were as abused growing up as the scapegoat, which I agree with. However, look at them now – both mid 20s, one getting married and one graduating from med school, and still living under the shadow of their upbringing, except one is wilting and the other is happily blooming.
I've taken a turn here – I think the brother is the biggest asshole of them all. The entitlement is staggering, and much like when women open their posts by saying “my partner is amazing”, I'm rudely skeptical of this man's love for this sister he's trying to shove onto his shadow; he has no interest in sharing the spotlight, he's fully bought into being a golden boy.
Whether an age gap relationship works is entirely dependent on the personalities of the people involved and how well they fit together.
I previously was in a relationship with a man 22 years my senior for 10 years. I had a stepdaughter who was one year older than me. Although people initially regarded our relationship through a negative lens, that changed as the relationship progressed and the years added on. The relationship was loving and wonderful and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. We grew apart though as often happens in age gap relationships but we separated as good friends and still are good friends to this day.
Now I am married to a man 10 years my junior. We don't notice the age difference and he is the love of my life. We are in complete sync in regards of life values, wants and expectations and I wouldn't want to change anything here either for the world.
So no, not all age gap relationships are about manipulation or taking advantage of someone. Sometimes it is about two odd people finding compatibility and peace in one another.
My advice to you is to reserve your judgement and treat them with dignity and respect ? They might be together for a longer time than you'd expect
When she told me that she is not up for a relationship. I cut her off from every aspect of the communication. I also clarified to her that I can't continue talking to her as I don't want our conversation to go further.
I didn't have the issue with her not getting in the relationship. I respected her boundaries but the way she started conversing with me gave me slight hope.
The problem is that she doesn't respect my boundaries.
I would absolutely consider it cheating. You two need to sit down and come to an agreement on what constitutes cheating in your relationship. You cannot have two different definitions. This has to be solved.
I think anything that happens where you wouldn't want your partner to find out is cheating. Whether it be emotional or physical, if you don't want your partner to know, you fucked up.
It's time to move on.
I'd highly suggest consulting with a lawyer. He's been living there long enough that he will have residency in virtually every state, so you will have to evict him if he won't leave voluntarily.
If you think he will react badly, the first thing is do is get yourself some protection. A firearm and training would be ideal. Pepper spray or a stun gun will also suffice. It's best to break up in a public place just to be safe. If he freaks out, there will be plenty of witnesses and people to step in.
Ideally he'll peacefully gather his things and leave your home. But be prepared to potentially involve law enforcement. If he gets violent you can get a restraining order and have him removed from the home immediately. I'd also suggest having a friend or family member stay with you in your home during this time if at all possible. People are a lot less likely to do stupid things when there are eyes on them.
You would have to have an active flare up for it to test positive …this is why they don't do it routinely
Please, please find a better home for the cat. The poor soul
This was exhausting just to read.
She doesn't need you to “protect her” or “make sure she's not cheating.” Grow up.
Get away from this psycho
Read this part again:
I'm a coward and she's very strong willed so if she disagrees with something I do I will very likely cave and not do it again (even if I love it).
It sounds to me like OP has had to hide things from her for a long while in order to keep full freedom over his choices. He says he's a coward, but the other part of that dynamic is that she's incredibly overbearing. I'm a strong-willed person, and I know that I have to be careful about what I say to people so I don't bear over their choices. She's known this is an issue for him for some time. I don't think it's at all fair to shame him for a dynamic that she's largely in charge over.
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
I just want us to be bf/gf. We are definitely not kids. Especially with everything we’ve been through. It’s not like i’m asking him to propose tomorrow.
The vast majority of 33 year olds do not have any money in the bank for emergencies lol. 2/3 of america is hand to mouth right now
Apparently, some women have more of a responsive arousal and its only when you're being stimulated that you become aroused. Do you enjoy the sex when you're having it?
Talk to your Doctor – but if you're on HRT I guess you already are. And maybe literally putting it on your calendar and in your daily schedule might help.
Send him a breakup text, voice mail, email, and then block him when you know he's received it. Don't give him a chance to talk you out of your decision or to give it “one more chance,” just be done. Make sure you're safe in case he doesn't take the rejection and lack of access to you well. Then enjoy being single.
? thats what. I was thinking
I understand what you mean. I definitely will have a conversation with her and hear her out. Thank you!
Ask to take a picture or use her phone to search for something
ifshe's suspicious, hesitates or argues
It's a wrap End the relationship