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Date: October 4, 2022
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She seems receptive and understanding of your side, that's what matters. This is what healthy communication looks like reddit:)
Oh, this one brings back memories…
He sounds frighteningly like my first real boyfriend. The attention always had to be on him or he sulked. He hated my birthday, hated it so much that I would dread it. He would usually get drunk by noon. I never got a present except one time- a cheap gold chain which he immediately asked to hold it to “show me something” and when I did he ripped it into pieces in front of me and said “now show me you don’t just care about my money” He had no money but was in college (as was I but I worked and he didn’t because I paid the bills) but as a business major who crowed about how rich he would be once he graduated and owned a business he would accuse me of waiting to cash in. Every girl’s night out was suspect and almost always ruined.
He would also do the accent crap, I’d be reading alone and he would jump into the room going “Alrighty then” in a Jim Carrey accent. If I was on the phone he would be loudly singing in the background songs that he substituted dirty lyrics. On his birthday he expected to be king for a day and it was never enough.
This is not something you can fix. He has to become aware that he is obnoxious and self absorbed. If you don’t cut the rope quickly and cleanly you will never be rid of him. You are right, he is manipulating you. I loved mine too, but let me tell you being without him was the most liberating experience of my life.
Just because there are a few “good” things does not mean the relationship should continue. As painful as it is you need to realize he is not going to change. He will pretend to but it will be more manipulation. Have the talk but make it a break up talk and move on.
Life without him was almost stunningly better. I felt free. I had privacy. I wasn’t made to feel guilty for focusing on me for small pleasures. I could do what I wanted without constantly focusing on the man-child. Once you get your life back it will be such a relief that it will probably stun you.
Message me anytime. Expect claims of betrayal up to and including suicidal threats. If they get realistic, call 911, call his family but keep going. Let your family know what you are doing. If you have a close friend or family member who understands what you are going through and flex t like him either have them physically present as you tell him it is over.
This is not worth saving. I’m so sorry to be so blunt but honest to God you are going to be so relieved. A month from now in the tranquility of your own place as you unwind from work or peacefully sleep in it will hit you just how much of a relief things are.
This is not going to be easy. You will probably have to rush into no-contact and even if you want to try a week alone do so. If you want to tell him you need a week without him and without having any contact that might be a wise place to start but expect him to panic. He relies on you for constant validation while emotionally draining you and he will likely have a dramatic panic attack and go to great lengths to keep you from leaving even for a week. Go anyway and dismiss his guilt trips.
Your life will be oh so much better without him.
And again, chat with me anytime. I’m with a man now who is the man I always deserved but never believed I did. The alone time after breaking up with that long ago buffoon was the best time I had ever had. I was ready when I met my current fiancé. I can help you understand and react to what happens. Sending strength and light!!!
I feel the fact that she is hanging with a known cheater AND removing her wedding ring 100% needs to be edited into the OP. That changes this situation quite a bit and without that info may waste peoples time on advising in ill informed ways.
It’s the start of game of thrones luckily they didn’t push you out a window!
yeah, there is no coming back from that in a relationship
Yeah but you aren't gay.
You basically said 'hey wanna fuck' to a girl who thought you were both there to learn/study/help each other. You started out as lab partners; not friends.
Now, they've decided you can no longer be trusted focus on the material as you're too busy thinking about trying to hook up. Any time you come into a study group, it will be assumed you're there to try to get your wick wet.
I had a much easier recovery than what you're describing and my husband's complaints were about not waking him up ENOUGH in the night. I was struggling with breastfeeding but not making enough so I was reluctant to skip a single feed. My husband was literally begging me to let him do one of the night feeds so I would get a solid 5-6h of sleep. That is how a partner supports you.
Set up your own account t and message him with “fancy meeting you here.” Then block and walk
Sir. I make $15/hr at a call center with no degree. Get your ass up and get a better job.