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Let me satisfy that 😉
Date: October 8, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Let me satisfy that 😉
I'm not involving her in my “indecision” it's not even indecision because I want to be with her. I made the mistake of being highly anxious and needing a sounding board and not having access to a therapist.
Rather than speak to my girlfriend I posted here and only got shit on when my mental health is already at the point of suicidality due to severe work pressure in a system that is currently collapsing and a hectic schedule and lack of supports as my regular therapist is away for the month.
The discussion I intended on having with her was surrounding my thoughts on my possibly having too much of a porn habit and wanting to not incorporate that in my own life and to wait awhile to incorporate that in our sex life together as I believe the porn is causing the focus on men.
I was a little less coherent yesterday due to having a panic attack, my apologies for that, but you assuming I'm just using someone who has expressed an openness to supporting me through any journey whether that be as a friend or a partner is insulting to both of us.
I'm just going to stick to therapy from now on. Idk why I ever think this website is a good idea. Too many bitter people who make assumptions about an entire relationship based off a post or two.
I could probably convince you she's an asshole if I felt the need and worded everything just so, despite the fact she's the sweetest person I've met. Obviously, no one is perfect, but she is truly someone who brightens the world. Thank you for reminding me of the energy I'm trying to avoid.
I hope you learn to not judge a person based off of one post they made while in a highly anxious state and even if you continue to do so, I wish you all the best.
I'm not involving her in my “indecision” it's not even indecision because I want to be with her. I made the mistake of being highly anxious and needing a sounding board and not having access to a therapist.
Rather than speak to my girlfriend I posted here and only got shit on when my mental health is already at the point of suicidality due to severe work pressure in a system that is currently collapsing and a hectic schedule and lack of supports as my regular therapist is away for the month.
The discussion I intended on having with her was surrounding my thoughts on my possibly having too much of a porn habit and wanting to not incorporate that in my own life and to wait awhile to incorporate that in our sex life together as I believe the porn is causing the focus on men.
I was a little less coherent yesterday due to having a panic attack, my apologies for that, but you assuming I'm just using someone who has expressed an openness to supporting me through any journey whether that be as a friend or a partner is insulting to both of us.
I'm just going to stick to therapy from now on. Idk why I ever think this website is a good idea. Too many bitter people who make assumptions about an entire relationship based off a post or two.
I could probably convince you she's an asshole if I felt the need and worded everything just so, despite the fact she's the sweetest person I've met. Obviously, no one is perfect, but she is truly someone who brightens the world. Thank you for reminding me of the energy I'm trying to avoid.
I hope you learn to not judge a person based off of one post they made while in a highly anxious state and even if you continue to do so, I wish you all the best.
Yes there are women with issues that cause amenorrhea.
I came here to make this very suggestion.
OP, tell your bf that he actually needs to give you 45 minutes of oral a day or his teeth will fall out.
Let him know your limits. If he can't respect those than what about you will he?
Just know you didn't do anything wrong. It's uncomfortable but not wrong. It will get harder as time goes on. They have already missed 18 months. You can so this. You are stronger than you think! You got this! ????????
Yes because your well being matters too and this effects you.
I think it’s a case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
He’s already stated why he doesn’t want to remain married and anything you say or don’t can probably be skewed to you agreeing- it takes the blame off him then for ducking out of the marriage because “you wanted it too”. Means he’s not the bad guy.
So tell him what you said above. After that last argument why would you fight to hold someone who clearly doesn’t want to stay. Why put yourself though that heartbreak for a losing proposition. See what he says to that.
This girl is not serious about a relationship with you.
something else to remember about the photos you might have found, and this is very important to remember: PHOTOSHOP. If the images you found came from an Instagram or other social media account, there's a good chance that flaws have been “edited out.” It's a similar thing going on in women's magazines, especially if they deal mostly in “fashion” or “beauty.” What you're looking at, it's likely as phoney as a $3 bill. Scars, age spots, wobbly bits in the wrong place. they can all be erased with a deft touch of editing. If I look at a billboard ad or a glossy shot of a woman in a bikini, as a male, I'm thinking, “how much of what I'm seeing is real?” Makeup, I consider that to be an “honest” deception. However when she looks “too perfect” then she probably isn't all that real.”
I's good to see that your boyfriend truly loves you and cares deeply about your well being. At the very least, let him hug you. He might struggle with what to say, but work hard to remind yourself, these pictures are all fantasies, they're not real women. If you told a supermodel, “right, no editing, no makeup, and you do your own hair today,” she'd likely recoil in horror. If you have any friends that are fairly recently married, ask them if you can look at their wedding album, then take a good look at how they look today. This can give you some perspective about Photoshop.
Please don't have kids if you need to ask reddit “is he joking” and not have an adult conversation about it.
If this is how he treats this experience…it's not going to get better.
This is too stupid to be real
No problem! That's the best approach to take. It's not always easy, but it is important to focus on addressing any challenges that arise in your relationship by first having a clear understanding and process of communication. Good luck and if you need anything else don't hesitate reach out.
All she knows is the good life you’ve given her and she’s in la la land. Her comments are those of a spoiled child. Get out while you can.
Nope. Picked up on it immediately. Also, from what I understood, he says nice things to her, but also told her he wanted her to lose weight, and that’s what got her to start doing it? I wonder if there are other controlling behaviours and manipulative comments she hasn’t picked up on or has been brushing off.
Everything you feel is fine. I get the food on my plate thing, that's a regular boundary anyone can respect. Now the kissing, that is probably gonna make dating difficult for you.
To your question, no don't go after him. He didn't respect your boundary, tried to get you to break them and then reacted violently and left without communicating his feelings appropriately, that's a red flag.
It's not the quantity but the quality! A number is just that. It does not mean the sex/love making was good or mutally satisfying. You can be with one person and it can blow your mind!
She told her how she felt and he said she was being controlling. That would be enough for me, personally. It’s porn. Not your family or something that makes sense to input your effort and energy into.
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Just drop it, there's nothing you can do to force this. And being a dick abiut it won't make it better. If he actually wanted to keep them he could just say “I deleted them when we broke up” but he just wants to pass you off
Yeah that’s exactly how I felt. I honestly got so emotional reading OPs post because I cannot imagine how broken I would be if I accidentally married someone like her husband. I really admire her setting boundaries and requirements for her husband; he doesn’t deserve anything but guilt for the rest of his life.
Not only did he believe a self-confessed cheater over his own wife and kick out his wife and unborn child onto the streets like they were completely disposable, his reaction was to immediately jump into the pants of a bunch of other women?? You put it really well; instead of acting like he had actually lost something (ie. His wife, his child, his marriage), he acted like a frat boy who finally feels free to fuck around.
I’ve been cheated on before by an ex, and my reaction even to that was stay single for a while because despite him being a bad person in the end, it was still important to process that loss of relationship and who I thought he was.
Uh you are absolutely not crazy, you have every right to not want your body touched against your consent.
I’d find and take his phone. There’s nothing legal you could do preventatively.
I'm sure a million people have said this but where IS the money coming from?
I had never heard that. I thought you were being a smart ass, sorry for the smart ass response. Nothing particularly strange in our diets.
You realise we don’t all spell realise the same. We also spell doughnut, doughnut. ?
Wait what? Talk to her parents?! Why would your mind even go there?
Sounds like her boyfriend was too drunk to concentrate if he couldn't remember to pull out
yeah very true.
THERE ARE NO. SUBSTITUTIONS. AT THE HAWTHORNE!!!
Let him leave his wife first and then dump him. This would be best for both of them.
It’s only been three months and you’re not even officially dating? This dude isn’t interested in a relationship or a commitment from you. It sounds like you want more consistency than he’s willing or able to give you. Cut your losses and move on.
In the beginning stages of a relationship you’re usually still trying to impress each other. If he wanted a relationship with you he’d be trying to impress you right now. Either he is trying and this is the best he can do, or he’s not trying and he’s not interested in deepening the relationship. This is a bad deal for you either way.
If you can't trust her then leave her. You don't owe her staying together with her. Thing hard about as it is an understanable decision.
Now the following is if you decide to stay.
It seems she has chosen you, but there is problem. I can't imagine you being ok with them staying in any dort of contact even if you want to stay with her. It doesn't matter how inconvenient it might be she needs to have zero contact(including messages) with him if you were to ever trust her again. If she needs to quit her job, so be it, it's consequence of her own actions. Obviously you should access to each other messages in general, as to make occasional anxiety checking to not be spying.
She is in a way.
He has stated over and over this is all he wants.
Few people could be happy like that, so I don’t blame her for not being cool with only staying at home. Or not being able to talk about issues, that’s unacceptable.
It’s her job to listen, and act in her best interests.
You can’t help her, because the only person holding her back from being happy is her until she leaves this relationship that will never be anything she wants.
Surgery is extremely daunting and scary. Just give her the time she needs.
Never move into a woman's house. Just never.
You don't need to go to HR to shut down flirting. And if flirting persists after you've asked for it to stop, it's harassment, and HR is appropriate.
If you generally consent to filming when he asks, and he still tries to film without asking first, its the lack of consent he wants. He does it because you dont consent to it.
Freezing up in the moment is entirely understandable! It can be hard to act in the moment when something like that happens. You have now had it happened three separate times, you have talked about it several times, he says sorry and deletes it, and then he does it again. This wont stop, because he has no interest in stopping himself, and there are no external reason to stop.
Is someone who constantly violates your consent to do something you would have consented to had he just asked, really worth your time?
Id tell him bc it already looks bad enough w u being drunk alone and in his room, if it comes out later itll look like u lied, too Be ready to deal w his anger or sadness bc u made the choices to put yourself in the position for him to kiss u
Uh, divorce him? I agree with your friends and family, he does not seem like someone who likes the company of women. Or you. He's taking trips with men and trying to move one in and everyone else in your life who knows him suspects he likes guys. And he flat out refuses to have sex with you.
Like, these are all pretty clear signs he's gay or at least hates your guts. And neither of those things is a basis for staying married.
I’m not sure why it’s an issue then did whoever you want. That took care of that problem.
Wife here. I can’t say it better than he did.
Yes my mom is aware and her advice is basically “keep your distance”. I have a pretty regular schedule I like to workout about 3-430 that way when I get home usually everyone else is home or almost home. I typically cook dinner for my family. If my mom has to work late well then I basically just know that I’m gonna be stuck in my room all night
How old are your siblings?
A hand written note….I love you letter.
They're very different indeed, but if he's trying to play the card of caring for her health then it's a slight facade.
“Vaping is just smoking for pretentious people” that's interesting bc I think smoking is for the complete opposite genre of people.
He is absolutely entitled to find it a turn off and break up – that is why my advice was to break up with her if he can't get over her smoking weed. However much of his “turn off” with it is based off of ignorant stereotypes of people who use cannabis/ smoke. At least try to understand the drug before you go shaming every user of it.
Long before the relationship started. I stay because literally everything else is perfect, our only obstacle is this mistrust
This is one of those things that you just have to say.
If you were talking, not cheating. If you were exclusive, cheating.
In my opinion, a relationship flow chart is: talking – exclusive – bf / gf – fiancé – husband / wife
I would say you and the other women who enable, are complacent, and put up with her are far more dense than she is. She might even be crazy like a fox, but the rest of you? shakeshead. I can even with this.
problem is he’s the most jealous person ever and he’s gotten mad at me for even standing too close to guys
If you're frustrated trying to negotiate shared meals that both of you find acceptable, then eliminate the problem by not sharing meals. Let feeding herself be her problem; you just worry about feeding you.
If you're open to it, and she wants shared meals, she can take over planning for both of you to make sure meals meet her exacting standards (taking whatever considerations you have into account).
If none of those options are acceptable, this is apparently a deal-breaking incompatibility.
Dude is gender free
If you have ever watched porn, forget everything you saw. Porn films what looks good not what feels good. It’s not really pleasurable sex.
Bring condoms. Be upfront that is your first time. Ask her to tell you how to pleasure her. If she doesn’t orgasm it will be ok
You may want to reassure him that you will never be her wing man at bars or restaurants. Ie you won’t go out with her to help her pick up guys.
He may have some concern about a lifestyle change luring you into ‘fun’.
I can’t imagine penetrating a tangy smelly orifice….
Yep, she very well could. She could also feel intimidated into doing so out of fear. There's lots we don't know about their dynamic.
You appear to be getting sidetracked now so I'm going to end the conversation here. Have a good day.
This isn’t your battle to fight. When she says something abusive you should address her with, “I” statements. (ie) “It really makes me uncomfortable when you talk to mom like that”. “I sense a lot of anger in what you’re saying right now.” —things like that.
Ultimately it’s on your parents to deal with her shitty behavior themselves. Have you encouraged them to look into support groups for parents of transitioning teens? I’m sure your sister’s behavior is not uncommon.
Wow, it’s great to be capable and independent…but this honestly makes me a little sad for you. It sounds like he is genuinely just being nice and wanting to save you time/money/and get home safely.
The only ways this could actually be controlling is if he is demanding about where you go, and what time you go home. Or if he’s circling outside trying to “catch” you and then make you go home. Or if he gets unreasonably angry if you do find your own way home one night.
Okay so, first off, while you're both in high stress low time situations you should not be adopting an animal.
You've effectively tortured this animal for a year, because you reeeeaaaallllyyy wanted it.
Some people just aren't in a position to have an animal, just because it's an animal doesn't mean it's wellbeing doesn't matter.
She cheated on you.
Physically and emotionally.
That she took this long to tell you means that something happened to make her – don’t believe any bs about guilt making her, as if she was truly feeling guilty she would have told you straight away, and it wouldn’t have lasted a month.
Chances are she has done more that she hasn’t told you about.
So prepare yourself for the end of your relationship.
Find a lawyer so you can get the sale of the house done asap.
I feel like I would heavily regret leaving over his d size and will feel like a jerk for it. But I also worry if I stay I will feel like I’m missing out on better satisfaction in bed since sex is one of my fav ways of expressing love for a partner.
I've also had 2 children, but I was also in my 20s when I had both of them. After the 2nd birth, I decided I was done and got my tubes tied.
OP,
So your BF and GF living together in an apartment as a couple.
He said he had to go to work and then he took a female coworker home and she unloaded on him her issues and problems. (why did he not text you, 2-20 seconds it takes), nope he just does what he did and blew off your date night.
Won't answer calls from you while he is at this girl's place. He could of said hold on I really need to take this. Nope, totally disrespected you.
You leave and go eat, you try to call and he is childish and refuses 14 telephone calls. Then he left again until midnight. I bet if you looked at his location, he was back at that same apartment.
Look, he was in the wrong the entire time and you apologized to him.
I would be fucking pissed if someone smoked in my house. It absolutely permeates everything and it’s very hard to get out. Just go outside. My parents were smokers and never smoked in the house
I'd give it more time before deciding on this. Your feels are raw as hell.
I wouldbt suggest waiting. First he didn't respond so you don't know how he feels about the surgery. You dobt want to sway hom to getting it (even accidentally) if it's jot something he truly wants. There will be people out their who arw happy with his body the wY it is or can be happy with either option. As a most straight person myself I get how you feel. I dobt know if I could be aroused by a female body either. But sex is avout more than just those body parts. You may be able to give and receive a lot of pleasure with this person, however, only if it's something you really can accept avout this person. I think it's possible to be attracted to an individual who is not your “type” sometimes. I think on your end,you need to find out why you get freaked out trying the first time. Dove into it. If you're really attracted to this person otherwise you may be able to take it slow together and just explore each other. Of you really just aren't into vaginas then there's no shame in that. You may be better as friends. But you'll have to be very careful to make sure he understands its not thag there is something g wrong with him and just as he can't change who he is or who he's attracted to neither can you. It sounds to me like this is his first partner as a Trans person, or hes already been rejected. Could be either and so this must have been really hard to trust you with. Sounds oike you care for each other so just really make sure you take your time and communicate.
Not trolling, but okay.
I want to believe that we are meant to be.
Be careful. This sort of mindset can get you trapped in really bad situations. You will find yourself downplaying, rationalising, denying outright things that are toxic or incompatibilities in the name of 'love' and stuff like that.
Reality is this guy clearly has a range of issues. Major gamer rage that he doesn't even pretend to acknowledge, selfish and prone to organising things without your input, lazy and prone to putting exactly the minimal amount of effort into things that pertain to you. This is the reality of who he is, he is unapologetic and worse… he seems to actively believe he is in the right on these things.
The one that suffers from holding on to this idea that things are great or that he is the one is you. He gets to be as selfish and inconsiderate as he likes because you will always accommodate. But while you hope this was meant to be… is this really what you pictured a happy relationship looking like? Why would someone meant to be have to show 'effort' just to meet bare minimum standards?
Up until the last part, it sounds like he's a highly sensitive person, look it up. There are subs here for it.
Thanks a lot for the diagnosis. I usually don't notice her snoring. In fact, it's me who snores and we joke about it a lot. She usually makes me turn to a side when she hears me and that solves the problem.