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Pussy play [30 tokens remaining]
Date: October 14, 2022
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I read this before. Did you post something about this previously when things were unfolding?
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Body parts in a non-intimate way.
That's fine! I'll recommend it. You've likely never had the misfortune of meeting the kind of people in this world that really necessitate protecting yourself and your sanity like that. And truly I hope you never have to.
Your daughter is an adult, you can surely help her financially get situated somewhere else
Or let her live with you. Cut the shit
Grow a pair and end the marriage if you intend to be with someone else.
I'm sorry but I think your wife is gay.
By messaging someone a song? I am sure it was curiosity. This isn’t cheating. This dude has serious issues, it’s not the girl. She was honest about her apps. He was being deceptive.
could your lack of attraction have anything to do with porn consumption?
OP, his discomfort is not your problem. He should not be throwing it in your face all the time. Could be he is getting rewarded with attention from you when he does it so he keeps doing it. I’m wondering if the “fights” this is brought up in are about his behavior so he uses it to deflect and redirect the attention onto you.
You don’t have a Time Machine so it’s not possible to undo. You do not have to apologize for or make up for any past behavior. Your boyfriend does not own your timeline and experiences.
He needs to decide whether you having slept with this guy is a problem (sounds like it is) and whether he can actually move past it (sounds like he can’t). One thing I know, is that YOU do not deserve to have this weaponized against you, but it doesn’t sound like he is going to stop. So you need to decide whether you are going to put up a boundary (ex. I will not be in a relationship with someone who decides to weaponize my past) and follow through or not.
He needs to realize his options are man up or divorce. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, but a metaphorical slap in the face can give him a different perspective on his life. The way he sees it, work and family get in the way of playing video games but it’s actually the other way around. It’s really not hard to turn your life around if you take action. You’re not nagging, you’re begging him to do his part. If he doesn’t see what’s important now, he’ll see it when video games is all he has left.
First and foremost, I’m sorry. This sounds really painful and no one should have to go through this.
His behavior, to me, seems abusive. It also jumps out that you wrote “he doesn’t get how this behavior impacts me”. [Paraphrasing]
That’s problematic in that either (1) he DOES understand how it makes you feel and does it anyway or (2) he’s so out of tune/uncaring he doesn’t see how it impacts you.
I’m not sure which one is worse.
I’m sorry and I hope you’re able to find resolution.
If it's a trauma response then he needs to talk about it in therapy
Checking your partner’s phone periodically also solidifies trust, but Reddit has a major problem with that. Men also cheat as much as women, but they have the privilege of hiding their infidelity because they don’t get pregnant. Men who have secret children funnel resources and money away from their “legitimate” family. Imagine having to live with that uncertainty.