Money philosophy is very important in a relationship. If you marry her- she can financially ruin you with her bad spending habits. It’s not a dumb thing to care about.
I saw a friend sell his start up with his business partner. They each got the same amount from the sale of the business (millions). My friend used the money to make his house nicer and splurged on an Audi sports car. His wife had a good new car and they kept dressing the same.
The other guy bought a very exclusive sports car and a giant mansion. His wife got plastic surgery and started wearing flashy designer clothes. Within three years their money was gone.
My friend used his pay out to invest and didn’t dramatically change his lifestyle. Ten years later he was much wealthier than when he sold his first company. The lesson is- if you have bad spending habits- even a ton of money won’t make you rich.
If you have good spending habits- it gives you power over your future.
Next time take a picture, save it on your phone….You may be able to get the text from the phone company. There are people who know how to do it, just not me.
But you did recognize that the house was a big deal to her. You knew she was hurt, you knew she was upset, but you went ahead and did it anyway. Please take some time to reflect on why you didn’t care about her in those moments. She’s a whole entire person and she should have been treated as a partner but you speak about her like a list of checked boxes that you want to fit into a life that only you design.
I dated a guy who also had a close friend of this nature. It was a constant battle in our relationship. Break up. He’s never going to change his feelings on the subject and you’re never going to move past feeling this way either.
I did the same thing for bfs first time doing this to my knowledge after 2.5 years and haven’t ever looked back. It’s shocking and disturbing behacior as well as anyone condoning it. You will find someone far less selfish girl
Op, there is no good human or good man who would have done this. Even considered putting secret porn of you out there into the world.
This isn't something you “confront” and “forgive” with an apology… It's absolutely fucking terrifying and would make anyone feel unsafe even in their own skin.
This guy belongs in prison. Definitely not in your bed omfg?
Please know you are valuable and worthwhile. Don't date your user & abuser.
Yeah… to marry someone and not discuss a past that involves sleeping with “100 men” is a giant red flag that would have me questioning my entire perception of a partner.
At this point an apology would be fine I think if you make it clear you don't need a response. Though if you were the last one to message, I'd prob just leave it at that as the ball is in his court if he wants more contact or not.
She doesnt want yo stay Monogamous and her snide comment qbout keeping her in a luttle box just goes to show that she resents being in a Monogamous relationship.
You dont want to be with someone who resents you for basic relationship boundaries
Can confirm: have/had heart condition that made me pass out. Anything that got the heart rate up was a factor. Mine was under very specific circumstances so nobody needs to worry but it also got worse/noticeable in my 20s.
She said “she didn’t mean what she said”. You should’ve pressed her “what exactly did you mean then?” But it doesn’t matter, because someone who loves you would never disparage you like this. She doesn’t love you. She only likes your previous paycheck.
And if she puts her hope of having a kid and whatever goal solely on you, but does nothing to support that goal, that’s on her. Don’t believe her BS to make you feel that you failed her. She’s a full grown adult but doesn’t take any accountability. and she extremely shortsighted and reckless to ruin your credit scores like this. How do you expect her to be responsible as a mother?
You’re probably in a psychologically abusive relationship.
Please consult a lawyer to find the best timing to leave her ass. And don’t get her pregnant.
OP, I can say that any functioning adult would be offended if someone was to go to their parents about them. Your friend is a grown man in his 40's with a family of his own. But you want to involve his parents and essentially treat him like a naughty boy who fell into the wrong company! Go ahead, tell his parents and give them final confirmation that you are unhinged and should be cut off.
This is absolutely correct. I feel like OP will struggle with every aspect of this because he doesn’t want it & that will further deteriorate things because the communication will be bad because it’s too painful which leaves flimsy boundaries & room for more problems.
why is he still your boyfriend? the only answer is immediately to break up with him. what kind of person would cheat on someone after they are going through all that? that’s truly awful. i’m so sorry for what you are going through but break up now!!! he’s disgusting
He is with you for a reason. Obviously, it is not just for sex. He must really care for you. You might just be getting into your head and mentally beating yourself up. If you really need to know, ask him. Don't be afraid to have communication about tough subjects.
OP i think you should remove her from your life. Yes you guys did cute things together but if someone shows you that they’re confused with you, it shows that they don’t want to be with you!! Same way that you’re so sure about her, is the same way that she should be towards you! It also seems as though she probably has a boyfriend
Money philosophy is very important in a relationship. If you marry her- she can financially ruin you with her bad spending habits. It’s not a dumb thing to care about.
I saw a friend sell his start up with his business partner. They each got the same amount from the sale of the business (millions). My friend used the money to make his house nicer and splurged on an Audi sports car. His wife had a good new car and they kept dressing the same.
The other guy bought a very exclusive sports car and a giant mansion. His wife got plastic surgery and started wearing flashy designer clothes. Within three years their money was gone.
My friend used his pay out to invest and didn’t dramatically change his lifestyle. Ten years later he was much wealthier than when he sold his first company. The lesson is- if you have bad spending habits- even a ton of money won’t make you rich.
If you have good spending habits- it gives you power over your future.
Next time take a picture, save it on your phone….You may be able to get the text from the phone company. There are people who know how to do it, just not me.
But you did recognize that the house was a big deal to her. You knew she was hurt, you knew she was upset, but you went ahead and did it anyway. Please take some time to reflect on why you didn’t care about her in those moments. She’s a whole entire person and she should have been treated as a partner but you speak about her like a list of checked boxes that you want to fit into a life that only you design.
Just looked at her post is AITA she said less than a minute
I dated a guy who also had a close friend of this nature. It was a constant battle in our relationship. Break up. He’s never going to change his feelings on the subject and you’re never going to move past feeling this way either.
Break up and see how fast they start dating.
I did the same thing for bfs first time doing this to my knowledge after 2.5 years and haven’t ever looked back. It’s shocking and disturbing behacior as well as anyone condoning it. You will find someone far less selfish girl
Op, there is no good human or good man who would have done this. Even considered putting secret porn of you out there into the world.
This isn't something you “confront” and “forgive” with an apology… It's absolutely fucking terrifying and would make anyone feel unsafe even in their own skin.
This guy belongs in prison. Definitely not in your bed omfg?
Please know you are valuable and worthwhile. Don't date your user & abuser.
Yeah… to marry someone and not discuss a past that involves sleeping with “100 men” is a giant red flag that would have me questioning my entire perception of a partner.
At this point an apology would be fine I think if you make it clear you don't need a response. Though if you were the last one to message, I'd prob just leave it at that as the ball is in his court if he wants more contact or not.
She doesnt want yo stay Monogamous and her snide comment qbout keeping her in a luttle box just goes to show that she resents being in a Monogamous relationship.
You dont want to be with someone who resents you for basic relationship boundaries
Can confirm: have/had heart condition that made me pass out. Anything that got the heart rate up was a factor. Mine was under very specific circumstances so nobody needs to worry but it also got worse/noticeable in my 20s.
She said “she didn’t mean what she said”. You should’ve pressed her “what exactly did you mean then?” But it doesn’t matter, because someone who loves you would never disparage you like this. She doesn’t love you. She only likes your previous paycheck.
And if she puts her hope of having a kid and whatever goal solely on you, but does nothing to support that goal, that’s on her. Don’t believe her BS to make you feel that you failed her. She’s a full grown adult but doesn’t take any accountability. and she extremely shortsighted and reckless to ruin your credit scores like this. How do you expect her to be responsible as a mother?
You’re probably in a psychologically abusive relationship.
Please consult a lawyer to find the best timing to leave her ass. And don’t get her pregnant.
Ever talked about how you're feeling with your wife?
OP, I can say that any functioning adult would be offended if someone was to go to their parents about them. Your friend is a grown man in his 40's with a family of his own. But you want to involve his parents and essentially treat him like a naughty boy who fell into the wrong company! Go ahead, tell his parents and give them final confirmation that you are unhinged and should be cut off.
This is absolutely correct. I feel like OP will struggle with every aspect of this because he doesn’t want it & that will further deteriorate things because the communication will be bad because it’s too painful which leaves flimsy boundaries & room for more problems.
Maybe this early could be annulment
Thank youuu!!!!
why is he still your boyfriend? the only answer is immediately to break up with him. what kind of person would cheat on someone after they are going through all that? that’s truly awful. i’m so sorry for what you are going through but break up now!!! he’s disgusting
He is with you for a reason. Obviously, it is not just for sex. He must really care for you. You might just be getting into your head and mentally beating yourself up. If you really need to know, ask him. Don't be afraid to have communication about tough subjects.
OP i think you should remove her from your life. Yes you guys did cute things together but if someone shows you that they’re confused with you, it shows that they don’t want to be with you!! Same way that you’re so sure about her, is the same way that she should be towards you! It also seems as though she probably has a boyfriend
He's crazy, and wants to marry crazy.