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Date: October 4, 2022
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Does he have immune diseases you know of? Was he infected once before?
Exactly.
Yeah I understand I just always like to give people reasons why im cutting them off.Especially since we text 24/7……
Maybe to keep your attention. Like dangling a carrot in front of you.
She doesn’t want you finding someone else until she does. Sort of a contingency. Yeah you cheated and acknowledge what you did was wrong, but they doesn’t mean you need to stick around if she comes around. If I were you, I’d keep it as just friends and coparenting.
If you were doing all your work, then why is he complaining about all the mess in the house and you not even being properly dressed? He shouldn't be having to come back home to a house full of mess etc when he's supporting all of you. Or do you expect him to start tidying up all the clutter after he's come home?
“He’s brought in over $100,000 in a one month period because of me”- Um. no. He's brought in a 6 figure salary because of his damn hard work. You aren't doing his job for him! You don't get to claim his hard work like that.
“when I’m experiencing sickness in pregnancy and postpartum with a newborn”
Again, you're choosing to have these kids, so you need to take responsibility for them. He didn't force you to have babies and be a stay at home mum (this was your choice).
If you are struggling, then you need to be proactive about sorting out your own problems. For example, speak to a doctor about your postpartum, and get a cleaner to help out a bit. But its not fair to expect him to start tidying & childminding etc when he's already supporting the lot of you and you're unemployed. You have significantly more time on your hands, if he starts doing your jobs for you, then where does he get any time to unwind?
I do think you're living in a bubble. What exactly do you think is going to happen if you choose the single life in all this? Because I think there are no guys out there that'd want to look after an adult women whose unemployed with 4 kids and expects to be taken care of on a massive salary.
I think maybe you should be a bit more grateful, be a bit more proactive about sorting your own problems out and be VEEERY careful about sabotaguing the marriage you've got right now.
She told you the truth and that's the most important thing.
In general, she sounds like an honest person to me. She didn't cheat on you and blamed it on a bad relationship, she did something about the unwanted situation and so on… The only part that's kinda cringy is that she publicity shared a photo of the pill.
She probably decided to go wild in order to prove to herself that she can have anyone and in this way convince herself that her ex is nobody and nothing because “she had better”. At least that's how some people explain it.
You can also look at it this way: If an unwanted situation happens to you, you can count on her taking the pill or any necessary prevention. In case it happens when both of you aren't willing to be parents.
If her past bothers you generally… Well… Don't be with her. But remember, someone else can also reject you in the future because of your past and I have heard more women saying they don't want to be someone's first, serious relationship than I heard men saying they don't want to date someone because she had a wild phase.
She's obviously hurt and you should ask yourself if you are willing to be there for her and accept her past, present and future and vice versa.
t t t trolling.
Run, run as fast as your legs can take you, and never look back.
Why does it matter at all. ?
I feel like this is such a hot button issue right now. On the one hand, yes you should only marry someone who you trust. On the other hand, look at how many people trust jerks, you hear about it all the time. It is bound to make someone double check their gut. I think that his sentiment of wasting his “prime years” is one you need to discuss, and not because of raising the wrong child. It should be discussed about him viewing time as something you can waste when you are simply just trying to live your best life. You don't get a do-over even if you make the wrong choice, yes that is true. On the other hand, the person you marry can only take so much suspicion before it starts to feel like they are wasting their OWN life only to be questioned all the time.
I sincerely think this is something that would be best discussed with a therapist trained to work with couples. BF has issues, but frankly if it is this alone it really isn't one to throw the whole boyfriend away over, unless he is unwilling to discuss it and work out a reasonable compromise between the both of you. That would be a second largish issue to work out. It is a lot of ado over potentially nothing, because there would probably be a completely different set of issues to argue about by the time you are wanting to have children. But then again, that would be a long time to go while feeling mistrusted by the one person that should have your back while you believe you are trusted to have theirs.
Really. Find someone. Talk it out.
Sounds like it’s a bit last considering at this point