ON NO!! This has so many red flags. Number one, no one should be around your children that you aren’t aware of. 2, no one should be in your house you aren’t aware of. 3, what kind of partner picks a babysitter without the other knowing?!?! These three things alone would make my skin crawl. Let alone the deleted messages. If it smells like bullshit…..
If you state your needs as unsolicited advice or suggestions, it will often CAUSE people to be dismissive. Google the problem with unsolicited advice to understand that more. Instead google how to turn complaints into requests and try discussing your needs that way.
I just spoke to her and she said she isn't talking to someone else but she's just stressed out. Idk if that's true because why didn't she just say that at the start
Some people on here are going to side with your bf, others are going to call him insecure. The simple fact is that different people have different boundaries and that's okay. The real factor here is whether or not moving in with this friend is worth nuking your relationship over. Your bf has voiced his discomfort so you can either accept it and look elsewhere or you can ignore him and damage the relationship, probably irreparably. There's no talking him round on this, it's a binary choice. Even if he agrees to the situation he'll still feel upset about it.
Ignore the people taking one side or another and just ask yourself whether or not you want this relationship to last.
Well, what is your end goal here? Because it sounds like we're off to a bad start.
The dynamics of your relationship are… disapointing. There is no colour (or life even) to it.
This was a let's try it out and see what happens. A trial run.
And the results are… sad. Clearly its not an over the moon madly in love result.
You're not chained to stick this relationship out until the end of time. You tried the chemistry and from the sounds of it… its not there.
Even for yourself… you started this whole thing off in the mindset of:
I wasn't super into him yet but I also know that I was developing some sort of feelings for him since I enjoyed our banners and felt closer to him in my brother's friend group.
That doesn't sound like a decision made in confidence, that sounds like a decision made on a whim (let's see what happens).
And here you are… You stepped up and became the only one putting effort into the relationship and receiving nothing in return.
Not sure if this is one to even fight to fix. This may be one to let go. And find a more natural relationship elsewhere.
At 6 months.. things should be getting better, not worse.
I suggest you contact your local women's shelter and ask for some advice and support. Abuse is something that escalates and once the shouting and threats don't work he likely will turn to violence. You need some support and some education from the people that deal with this on the daily. You are in danger and you are being abused
You do know what to do. I love when spouses cheat….you het to toss garbage out of your life
You’re weird for even having to ask about this
First of all 1. tell him and then 2. dump him.
That is kind of you.
ON NO!! This has so many red flags. Number one, no one should be around your children that you aren’t aware of. 2, no one should be in your house you aren’t aware of. 3, what kind of partner picks a babysitter without the other knowing?!?! These three things alone would make my skin crawl. Let alone the deleted messages. If it smells like bullshit…..
Thank you, I'll talk it over with her. Do more from my side.
If you state your needs as unsolicited advice or suggestions, it will often CAUSE people to be dismissive. Google the problem with unsolicited advice to understand that more. Instead google how to turn complaints into requests and try discussing your needs that way.
I just spoke to her and she said she isn't talking to someone else but she's just stressed out. Idk if that's true because why didn't she just say that at the start
He was 18. She was 17. They were kids. Honestly, they still are.
The idea that an 18yo has some coherent manipulative plan is laughable. It's not an excuse, it's an obvious explanation of the situation they're in.
Wait a few months then circle back and break it off. Don't ever bring up this moment again just find whatever other reason and cut her off.
You could watch Valley Girl for some pointers
Some people on here are going to side with your bf, others are going to call him insecure. The simple fact is that different people have different boundaries and that's okay. The real factor here is whether or not moving in with this friend is worth nuking your relationship over. Your bf has voiced his discomfort so you can either accept it and look elsewhere or you can ignore him and damage the relationship, probably irreparably. There's no talking him round on this, it's a binary choice. Even if he agrees to the situation he'll still feel upset about it.
Ignore the people taking one side or another and just ask yourself whether or not you want this relationship to last.
Lmao dumbass I was saying that not all poly relationships spawn because of a guy who can't keep his dick in his pants.
I'm sorry you're offended by my personal experience of a successful healthy polygamous relationship.
Thank you that is the most direct way to put it and I appreciate it, I think that is an excellent way to phrase it too.
Well, what is your end goal here? Because it sounds like we're off to a bad start.
The dynamics of your relationship are… disapointing. There is no colour (or life even) to it.
This was a let's try it out and see what happens. A trial run.
And the results are… sad. Clearly its not an over the moon madly in love result.
You're not chained to stick this relationship out until the end of time. You tried the chemistry and from the sounds of it… its not there.
Even for yourself… you started this whole thing off in the mindset of:
I wasn't super into him yet but I also know that I was developing some sort of feelings for him since I enjoyed our banners and felt closer to him in my brother's friend group.
That doesn't sound like a decision made in confidence, that sounds like a decision made on a whim (let's see what happens).
And here you are… You stepped up and became the only one putting effort into the relationship and receiving nothing in return.
Not sure if this is one to even fight to fix. This may be one to let go. And find a more natural relationship elsewhere.
At 6 months.. things should be getting better, not worse.
I suggest you contact your local women's shelter and ask for some advice and support. Abuse is something that escalates and once the shouting and threats don't work he likely will turn to violence. You need some support and some education from the people that deal with this on the daily. You are in danger and you are being abused