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Sexy licking and finger sucking [Multi Goal]
Date: October 25, 2022
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Firstly: while, yes there are pros and cons to living with someone, having five pages is a red flag and having three of them being cons is practically a May Day parade in the USSR.
Secondly: this action, for me personally (male, 27) would make me question if my partner actually loved me.
Thirdly: I think having children with him is a terrible idea because his actions lead towards the possibility he will have very little, if any, involvement with any future children.
I would seriously examine the status of your relationship.
That’s another game. You should tell him to shove it up his ass. Then block him on everything the restraining orders isn’t a bad idea.
The problem is not if she would be up for it or not, imo. The problem is that if she agrees to do it, it might make things strange between all of you because she's a part of your circle of friends and someone you would continue to see in the future It's safer to do it with people you don't know.
You think you'll meet someone who has never experienced something that you haven't?
Your 19 your also immature, your still a teenager, slow down my dude enjoy life
are we really going to blame ANYTHING except the fact that the wife and friend are cheating bastards? so what if they are 22? thats not the problem here, stop trying to redirect our attention to that the only problem here is the behavior and past of wife and friend. FULL STOP
but i know what this sub is playing at. it's trying to nullify any accountability on the fact that “brains aren't fully developed until 25” so everything is fair play no?
“Listen, I did not cheat, if you can't accept my story then we can't be together because this relationship is miserable. You can apologise, I can apologise, we can kiss and make up but it's all for nothing when nothing is truelly forgiven. You should be with somebody you trust and I'll hopefully find somebody who is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.”
If you aren’t open to it, which by reading your post seems like you aren’t, I’d agree with everyone else. Cut your losses. It sounds very difficult but don’t make the mistake i and many others have made and invest your life and money into something like this. Even if she decides to tell you she doesn’t want to be poly, she will never be satisfied with monogamy
I call my wife bruh all the time, lol she always goes “I’m not your bro”
Having to take accountability?
Oh well that's totally different. Him coming through after a 4am shift is different than him having a sleepover.
I’ve never experienced anything like this tbh as never really argued with my ex of 3 years anywhere like this. So I’m now like thinking is it actually me?
Some of them looks very cute to me, others don't look so good, I think its a matter of taste
This is a very tricky situation. OP is in a tangle, and he has no resources to work with, and a daughter to consider. If you want to offer advice as empty as “go get a lawyer (with money you don’t have), no wait I mean go to the authorities (and say what to whom?)” you are occasionally have it pointed out to you that’s it’s pretty useless advice. If you don’t want to hear one of that stop replying.
actually I didn't buy any gifts yet. I was planning on buying flowers and candy the night before or morning of our trip to the hallmark like town in PA.
Yeah.
Good luck in life man.
I’m glad you can see this now — sending you good luck in getting outta there
Saying the past is the past and saying people change is much different than actually believing it.
I'd go forward with it but I would be extremely hesitant. If it's not something you can end up moving past or getting over then I'd just end things. You're not meant to be with her
You linked a video on how to do a physical hold. There is no video that says physical holds are “mandatory”. Because that would be retribution/punishment. Physical holds are to stop danger. Not to punish.
I'm really concerned that you think this.
Im kinda afraid of the rejection. Im afraid my self esteem wont be able to handle it. I know he’s into me physically and he finds me attractive but he’s not ready for a relationship. He’s a typical mr. unavailable
I don’t use this word lightly, but your husband is retarded…
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Any old girlfriend would be very interested to meet the new love interest so this isn’t about her. This is sketchy OP and, honestly, he may be playing on your naivety. Trust your gut. He’s not being straight up.
Stop ignoring the conflict. If she’s your friend of 8 years you need to be honest and tell her you don’t appreciate her not including your girlfriend.
Slow. Down. You’re not in a rush. Just keep in mind that you’re still young and of course wouldn’t know what you want. You’re still going to be going through major changes as a person in early adulthood.
Yes, that’s true, not about winning any argument, thank you I forget this.
Thank you for the time you gave to my post and for replying to it . I appreciate that ! And yes I need to seek professional help and fix me I am aware of that . Does what I did make me a bad person ? Not worthy of forgiveness?
We will only have lived together for 4 months before our wedding date. We do, however spend pretty much every day together, with and without our kids. Yes my friends know about that. We have specific rules now.
I think you should take a big step back and really examine your own behavior here. You behaved terribly and caused damage to your sister and her girlfriend. This isn’t about your Redemption Story. Give your sister space. It’s not her job to make you feel better for your awful behavior, which by the way was completely avoidable. Do the work yourself.
To be honest the whole thing sounds like it was set up by you, staring with discussing your period at the dinner table and then you pushing her to discuss her own period at dinner with her girlfriend’s family.
My wife could never have sex with me again and the thought of cheating wouldn’t even cross my mind your husband is a pos and you deserve better
I have 3 questions. Is the BF's shirt material softer than your tee shirts? Is the tee shirt smaller than yours? Does your daughter know what your wife is doing? If the answer is yes then that is a rational explanation. If not, it is creepy as hell.
I think you know what you need to do. You both have different ideas of how you want your lives to be and they don't fit together.
Do most long term couples have sex everyday? Of course I wish I could meet his sexual expectations but everyday while seeing each other everyday feels like a lot to me. Maybe like every other day? But idk maybe if I wasn’t getting UTI’s I would want to everyday
Yeah, those people are emotionally constipated. I will admit that people crying in front of me can make me uncomfortable, man or woman, but that’s really my problem. People have emotions and cry. It’s life.
It’s okay to do but just be prepared for her to lose respect for you. Everyone loves to say to be vulnerable with your woman and many of these people ignore the swarms of men that have been vocal at how many women lose respect for a man that cries in front of them. It doesn’t matter what SHOULD be the case, the fact is women lose respect for men that cry. It’s not completely in their control it’s instinctual. Even women that fight tooth and nail against that notion prove it true with their actions. If you need a good cry, do it alone or with some close male friends. Your woman does not need to see you cry and doing so risks her losing the respect a woman needs to have for her man
This is one hundred percent true. But I am glad people think this is a attempt to make people happy. Our 18 years together is coming to a end and we have 2 kids. One with a heart condition. But glad our apocalypse is giving people jollies
Oh you poor, poor Redditors and your irrational fears of generalizations. You may think it's all those things. That's your opinion. And my opinion, based on everything I see and hear, it that women always blame the guy. You could at least address that but you don't because you'd have to think instead of reacting and being angry.
Like I said, you show me a post here on Reddit where the woman blames herself instead of the guy. I just showed you one from an hour ago where, once again, it's the guy's fault. There will be another one an hour from now. Case closed.
I cant imagine only wanting to stay in one state for your whole life, I get being close to your family but Jesus there is a whole world out there and she just wants to be in this state for her entire life and die there.
IDK, i feel like shes gonna hold you back from the future you want and if she cant be an adult and move out of mom and dads house and try make a life for herself than that's her lose and you shouldn't hold yourself back because than it'll just turn into resentment towards her
yeah agree seems like it!
Yepp thats how grooming starts
No, I know that I can. It’s just hard, I really do love him which is why it’s so hard to walk away.
You give yourself closure. Tbh, he didn’t sound like a great bf, kind of a loser. Hang out with friends and have fun, the right guy will come along, this guy isn’t it.
There's an alarming number of guys out there that fully believe that rape is something made up by man hating women.
It's just women either regretting having sex and then falsely accuse some guy of raping them, and/or women playing hard to get even though they really enjoy the thrill of being taken by an oh so strong and powerful manly man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to take it.
So sure she would be scared but also turned on by this man who desires her so much that he just can't control himself.
Yes, a relationship will always be happy if you ignore when your partner is being deceitful. That’s generally how those things go. If you’re choosing to believe that lying about one’s age and dating an adult while they’re a minor is not that big of a deal, congrats. But clearly, that is not the case with OP. So don’t go on to call OP a bunch of shit just because they won’t roll over and graciously accept that their partner deceived them for THREE YEARS about something as important as them beginning to date when they were a minor like you would.
Yes it was wrong. So what…
Fucking christ lmao it is so unbelievably ironic that you think, even when acknowledging something was wrong, that adjusting your relationship around that deceptiveness is trying to take some unstable moral high ground. You’ve got fucking issues.
You seem to want to only go to show respect and loyalty to your family but where was Jake's?
They're adults who made the choices and decisions that led them here. And while you're not punishing them, it's fair to have your own opinion on this. You don't need to support them, especially at a cost to those they hurt.
If they're not ready to move in together, they shouldn't be getting married either. Imagine if you had married your ex before living together only to see that you can't live together.
Good advice. We're doing that stuff.
Why not use this as a baby and husband free vacation?
I'm not talking about OP's brother and girlfriend, I'm talking about the argument “they are both adults”. That's BS, since 18yo are also legally adults but should not really be dating twice their age.
Yes he does, sorry if that's something I should of mentioned in my above post. He has a neurological disorder (being vague to not identify him). Previous employment had been stressful and challenging for him. He didn't want to work, so previously I was okay with this, my job was able to support us both with some financial support from his parents.
For all the talk about men taking responsibility for their own reproductive health I've seen on this board, this is the toxic conversation and fight that I've always had with women every time I've tried to advocate for my own reproductive decisions.
“I want to wear condoms now because I'm concerned about getting you pregnant.”
“You don't trust me. You've been cheating.”
So fucking toxic. This conversation has happened to me multiple times.
I was kind of like your son, althought that only lasted till like 22-23 birthday or so. It's really easy to fall into this kind of behavior these days. Modern women require much more from men and won't accept a lazy guy for a boyfriend most of the time.
I don't think there's anything you can do. If anything, your pressure can only make it worse. It's like with addiction, he has to come to the conclusion that he wants to change his life himself. If he doesn't, just let him be, he's an adult. Some people don't really feel the need to be in a real relationship. It's better that way than to force yourself and be unhappy.
Your husband is a fucking AH and you’re better off without him.
He brought nothing to the table. Nothing. Why? Because everything except work included me. I already knew. Nothing was organic. Nothing was interesting enough for me to want to ask about a follow up. He was boring.
I did not really think of it that way, and that really describes our conversations for the most part. I mean I listen to her about all the things that happen with her and her friends, work, her other things she does, but all I have to offer is “I worked on X. Y or at my job”
You not even getting what you need in this scenario: a private place to study. None of your goals are achieved. It’s far more important for you to focus on your studies. It has to be exhausting to work two jobs and be studying and this is just going to turn into a point of stress. I’d take a step back and reassess how much you are sacrificing and just how little he is. Let him get a roommate. Focus on your prioritizes. None of this aligns with your original goals of moving out.
Correct, it’s been brought up multiple times in our relationship and he always says absolutely not. I attended for a while to work out a few things regarding my messed up family and he “poked fun” at it.
I don’t know if I could make the ultimatum, saying I want marriage after knowing he didn’t want it for so long seems unfair.
I read on this subreddit about a video/article called “the problem with unsolicited advice”. I think it's a good place for you to start preparing yourself.
Then, I would write a letter listing: – the situation (context) – the advise he gave – how you responded – how he insisted – how it made you feel
It's similar to what you did here, but the more details the better.
With that in hand my guess is that you will be able to see 1) that you are not overreacting; 2) a pattern to how he approaches the issues he wants to be dealt his way
Then you can either give or read it to him. Ask him to reflect before being defensive or trying to justify. Make it clear how much this bothers you and that it is resulting on you not wanting to talk to him.
I believe that it can be just a mirror to how he was raised. By maybe he is a controlling man that you need to consider divorce.
His response to your approach will give you the answer.
Good luck! Hoping it all works out.
So it was your fault she was fucking around ? That is awful person making excuses for their shitty behavior. You are right in that the person you thought you loved wasn't real and was faking the whole thing. Don't give her another chance unless to want to go through this whole thing again in the near future.
I read on this subreddit about a video/article called “the problem with unsolicited advice”. I think it's a good place for you to start preparing yourself.
Then, I would write a letter listing: – the situation (context) – the advise he gave – how you responded – how he insisted – how it made you feel
It's similar to what you did here, but the more details the better.
With that in hand my guess is that you will be able to see 1) that you are not overreacting; 2) a pattern to how he approaches the issues he wants to be dealt his way
Then you can either give or read it to him. Ask him to reflect before being defensive or trying to justify. Make it clear how much this bothers you and that it is resulting on you not wanting to talk to him.
I believe that it can be just a mirror to how he was raised. By maybe he is a controlling man that you need to consider divorce.
His response to your approach will give you the answer.
Good luck! Hoping it all works out.
I assume you mean 25M
I wouldn’t text and let him bring it up, then politely explain you’re not interested in dating. You can be as specific as needed, I guess, but also be kind. I would do it in public for your safety, too. (Sometimes you just never know.)
Advice? He has shown you who he is. See it. Run. He’s not going to be dedicated to you and this baby if he’s willing to fuck your sister. Start planning to raise this baby with the help of your parents. Also, your sister is a horrible person and I would personally go no-contact.
It sounds like you're a real inconvenience to your wife. How long have you been married?
Right? Something is very off with this entire story. Her house is filled with literally like 2000 gallons of water, and she's trying to wipe it away? With what!?
Would not want to be in relationship with split-roasted girl anyways.
Get some damn headphones
You need to definitely tell her you know what she did, then leave her.
I don't want to be rude but you don't seem to have the best judgment. Have your friends/sister met him? If they have I would take their word for it.
Why would I? Why not you fix your love for big dicks? Well i m a free man ,and i will never date any woman who like big dicks. If all woman like big dicks, i ll be happily single.
No that's not normal. He's testing the limits.
Please be a troll, this can’t be real
Hey, DaisyMaisyB, you need to get yourself, your child, and your dog out of this environment. It’s not safe for any of you. Plus, if I knew you in real life, I would be calling both animal services AND child services because neither your dog nor your daughter should be in that environment. Now, I don’t know you in real life but there’s probably someone who does who feels the same way. If they call AS and CS, your child could be taken away from you (as well as your dog obviously). I don’t think you want that but you’re not doing anything to protect her yourself so it may come to that. You need to think about all of this and, hopefully, make the sensible decision to get the three of you away from this abuser.
Btw, I also have ADD/ADHD (they’re the same thing now) and it’s not an excuse to abuse animals.
Yeah but the intent is what makes it gaslighting, that's what separates it from just being an asshole.
But I guess I give up because these days anyone lying about anything is called gaslighting and anyone who does something selfish is a narcissist lol
shes not even on the pill
shes dumb as fuck thinking this will hold up long term
Fine. Use a condom you puss but remember to squeeze out the condom jizz on her face afterwards like a man.
You may be comfortable but it conflicts with your future goals you just mentioned.
It has big impacts to your future.
You can’t afford to both want the goal of a family and not care. You might as well say you want to stay single and that is fair enough.
It’s a shame the most important advice you plan to ignore until too late. Oh well.
What does some form of connection mean to you? What is an example in your mind. Because what you are suggesting to guys is just sex to them and won’t be seen any other way.
Right now, apparently
An apology is irrelevant in this situation. If he said the words it would change nothing.
He is abusive and has an anger problem at the very least and he will probably never change.
You will have to decide if you can live with him.
To the side of this question:
How did you find this info out?
To your main question:
you'd have to ask him, point blank, why he was interested in these videos and tell him your concerns. He may get offended as a man, but as an adult, he will understand the caution. Also, his reaction will say more than anything else you could do in therapy (presumably, he is safe an doesn't overreact during arguments).
As long as your “friend” has a strong presence in your life, you'll NEVER be able to put all your energy towards finding a woman that makes you feel like you do around your friend, but is actually attracted to you.
What I said wasn't about your present, I was talking about your future.
If you had accepted you would be the backup guy
We're all on a learning curve, and past relationship mistakes are generally best considered learning experiences…
BUT
That's only true if people are willing to learn from them.
The reason cheating matters and the reason why relationships require honesty is precisely because we have to be to ourselves what we are to the other person. He's not doing that.
Putting it more simply, if he had learned the essential lesson of a broken, unfaithful relationship, his first takeaway would have been to long for a relationship where he could be truthful without shame or judgment. We cheat because we're secretive more often than we're secretive because we cheat.
Walk away, and tell him with some pity, “You've really not learned the most important thing: relationships are where we're honest, self-disclosing, and safe. You're protecting yourself and your self-image, and that's not a project I'm going to sign up for.”
Get out of your head. You are making up most of this story be embellishing it with your thoughts and feelings. You don’t trust her. You certainly don’t have faith in this relationship. This is completely a you problem.
We love the familiar.
It's the same feeling when listening to a new song vs an old favorite.
“This is good… But this is much better”
Just keep listening to the new song until you love it as much as the old. You'll still love the old, but you won't crave it so much.
After the birth of a child, testosterone levels tank for a couple of years. He's in withdrawal, and while this isn't normal, it's not unusual.
If you're not convinced, investigate further. But don't let her know, or else she'll just cover her tracks.
The downside to not dating before marriage is that you get no deep understanding of relationships, or of your own needs from a relationship. You're basically settling for the person who looks like a good package at first glance and not using any past experiences to judge them by. You can't recognise bad behaviour because you have no comparison. At least by coming to this sub you're using the romantic history of others to show you how bad this relationship is. It doesn't need to be bad all the time to be a bad relationship.
Oh you sweet summer child ?
Do you think it my be childish to only think your way is correct?
OP,
How you offered to buy her something in the beginning without setting a limit makes her think your her sugar daddy. She will string you along until you run out of money or get tired of her and she will move on to another person. This is why she is taking it slow with you, she will reap all the rewards with out give out the milk.
Thats disgusting and even if he did, he could not wash it. I have gotten blacked out drunk when i was younger and remember almost every stupid thing i have done.
Does he not have the money or does he just not feel like spending it on something that he thinks only benefits her?
I’m working on growing up. I’m 22 trying to be better. No need to call us disgusting. What’re you? 43 on Reddit dogging on young people? Wack
tell him he is free to do the same. it is only fair. better do this now before you start having kids, bc then it would be selfish
that's easy. Dump his sorry ass.
Wow
You really spent a lot of time writing this comment and I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much for your time, I want to mention something as well.
She has a chronic illness since she was 14, it's an IBD.
I did not mention it, but since we're talking on the psychological level. Is this related?
Please, right now, call the National Domestic Abuse hotline 800.799.7233
That you still want to be with him doesn’t mean he’s not abusive. You’ve been living with him being the only person in your life. He tells you all sorts of things that make no sense, but you believe him because you have no other voices in your head to drown him out. The most important thing is for you to find a safe place away from him. His behavior could escalate. Please call the hotline for help, not only to organize your thoughts, but also to find a place to stay for the time being.
If you were my best friend, I would want you to call me. I would want to help you, no matter what else was going on in my life.
Thank you
It sounds like you've had a really tough time OP. I imagine you are dealing with some trauma from the effects of your mental health struggles, and I imagine you feel hurt by your mom's decision to cut contact with you. And having to move to a completely different country too? That's rough.
You have absolutely no obligation to have any contact with your mom if you don't want to. You have no obligation to speak to her again. If you do want to speak to her, you have the right to set the terms. If you want your father to be a “go-between,” that is fine. If you want your therapist present, that is also fine. This seems like a tricky situation, and I think you will have an easier time if you involve people in your support system such as your dad or your therapist.
You need to decide what is necessary for YOU to be happy. Your mom will survive if she doesn't hear from you. If you decide to get in contact and it goes poorly, well, the both of you will survive that too. There are no right or wrong answers.
Ask her if the idea makes her uncomfortable. If it does, drop it, and find a different shared kink. If it doesn’t, talk more about how you’d like to incorporate the idea in your sex life.
I was addressing your comment. You mentioned male murderers which means men as the aggressor not victim.