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mia-rous18 Public Chat Channel
Date: January 8, 2023
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WeekendPussy
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Hello from a fellow know-it-all 🙂
I'm a very curious person. Together with ADHD, that's years and years of wandering the web and going down hundreds of rabbit holes. I have lots of random knowledge about so many subjects.
I've learned to stop before I correct someone, even if I know, 100%, that they're wrong. Most people are very invested in being right. They also get irritated when someone always knows better than they do.
Just nod along and say “Oh! That's interesting.” You'll probably feel super on edge the first few times, but you get used to it.
My father is also a labour lawyer and I learned a lot from him as well over the course of my life. However don't give people advice unless you have first verified it as true or can provide case law to support it.
And in this case where you said you didnt know for certain, why not verify it with your mother who has actual expertise in the field? Especially since you say in another topic “in this specific case, i had strong reasons to believe that, if she had the wrong information, it could very negatively impact her and her immediate family's life”.
You should understand one thing, by trying to stop their relations you may lose both of them. I assume he has never acted upon his feelings for her or his journal would mention it. Now since he is faithful there is no direct threat to you. Your friend should eventually find herself her own partner and I assure you he will expect to get more attention from her than she gives your husband so their relation should weaken.
Of course you may have private talk with your friend and mention that their relation is sometimes making you feel insecure. Who knows perhaps out of consideration she will take a step back in their relation. Similarly you can tell his your husband, in non accusatory way. You know you will a bit sad and when he asks you you can tell you know it's stupid, but you sometimes feel like he is into your friend when they are teasing each other.Even this however carries certain risks.
Do not reveal that you have read his journal. His feelings are not something he can control, but it seems he has never acted on them. You spying on him is much bigger offense here.
As someone whose wife was discovered to be gay after 20+ years: check out [ourpath.org](Ourpath.org).
They have meetings and a support forum for people realizing what’s happening. It helped me get through the divorce.
You wife is not being honest with at best, and you deserve happiness.
If he refuses to open the conversation there isn’t much you can do, i believe others have talked about that in this thread, he is most likely Addicted to porn and that might be a topic you could maybe engage with him, /nofap is a place you could normally find information about it
Bit weird. You might not be compatible.
She offered to move to the same city but neither one of us wants to move in together and she loves her current job so I don’t want her to loose that. I just think this waiting game till j find the job is already depressing
Heartbreak is a divorce after you have kids, your long term partner practising unethical non-monogamy, being dumped after a year, stuff like that. What you’re describing isn’t a heartbreak situation. Just move on and don’t look back. There’s a lot of potential loves out there.
Foster care and adoption may work differently in other states but here in California they try to find a permanent home for children. So it your girlfriend did have a baby and it went to foster care, the workers would look for a permanent home and adoption. Since your aunt and uncle are family, they might have been able to take the child, but it certainly wouldn't be as foster parents that would replace the child with other foster kids. So that seems suspect.
On the abuse of the child, the foster mother would be a mandated reporter in California and a report of possible abuse would be investigated. Also your girlfriend would have been told at court to turn in a report to Children's Protective Services. She wouldn't need to be a legal guardian.
The foster mother would also be unlikely to give the child back to her abusers.
The aunt and uncle would be unlikely to take back a child that had just been relocated. The social service agency would be unlikely to move a child out of one house, into another, and back to the original. All that would take a lot of time. And I just saw that aunt and uncle adopted the child and then put her back in foster care?
There's a problem all right and if I were you, I would be thinking very carefully whether or not you want to upset your whole life for a girlfriend with severe problems that you've had for a couple of months who is already cancelling plans with you.
THIS!
This post is such a “ME ME ME” rant. Both of them are going to grad school and working full-time so it's not like there is a huge difference in workload.
She sounds like she just wants him to be as miserable as she is, which I just can't wrap my head around. My partner works a hybrid schedule and I've never felt angry with him for choosing that path when I didn't…makes no sense lol.