You only think about yourself, what about your children that have to grow up without a dad just becourse he thought it would be amazing to have children. but not being a father for them.
There are more than enough children without fathers in this world, get a fucking grip.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Piece of advice. Always be mindful of your decisions in life especially those decisions that can and will greatly impact others especially when it's in a negative way
This could end up being one of those “right person, wrong time” situations. She needs to do what's best for her and her sister, and she's probably going to find that she won't have much time for a relationship anyway. And this doesn't sound like a good situation for you, either.
It's probably best for you to amicably part ways now.
His actions are not the actions of someone who is loving you and treating you with respect.
Whatever is holding you back from walking away now, you need to get past and walk away. It may cost you your savings but that’s cheaper than going down this road with his financially irresponsible thieving ar£&
No don't look past her fuck up. She cheated. I am sorry this woman will never be faithful. You have become the rebound guy for her. Save yourself by walking away. She will always drag you down in life and prevent you from going forward.
OP, I have a personal rule that I don’t tell people “I’m sorry” when they have an illness because I have an illness and I know how old that gets fast.
This SUCKS!
As this progresses, you will want someone steadfast by your side. She is showing symptoms of not being that person.
her refusal to tell her parents meant she knew this was how they would behave. She didn’t disclose that before you insisted she tell them.
she accepted distance from you during the decision month but didn’t insist on it from her parents.
she makes impulsive decisions and regrets them later.
Is is extremely vulnerable to manipulation.
Sadly, being with you is a hard road. Caregiving isn’t for the feint of heart.
Not to sound too transactional, but you may be wise in suggesting she take a few courses in caregiving. Being a CNA could help her later on when you need the care, but also would get her the experience to know what she is getting into.
Also, consider if children are an option. If you had kids today, they would be 10-15 when you decline your wife would go from caring for small children to caring for you with almost no time in between.
Add in that her parents are probably banking on her helping them as they decline (they seem like the type). And she is going to basically have 20-30 years of being a caregiver for 3-5 people.
She wont be able to live her life until she is 60+ and that is assuming the money hasn’t run out by that point because she likely will be taking care of so many people that she wont have time to work.
If you do have kids, they will be at a significant risk of parentification even if 100% healthy. That can really mess people up over the years.
Consider a long engagement at this point. I know you are excited to set a date, but her taking a few caregiving courses and maybe volunteering in a skilled nursing facility might help her understand the challenges.
A long engagement could also give her parents time to either calm down and stop being asses or to really show their true colors.
He didn’t “forget” anything. That’s bullshit. And of course he’s desperate to make it up to you. He sexually assaulted you and he’s afraid you’ll charge him, which you absolutely should do. At the very least dump him and never be alone with him again. I’m sorry this happened to you.
My wife and I share finances 100%. There isn't a pot of money that either of us have. We also don't restrict purchases under about $300 from each other. Nothing wrong with that.
How about a weekend trip together at a bed and breakfast? Maybe it could include seeing a live sports game? If you want something smaller, maybe a weekend breakfast at a nice breakfast restaurant?
I'd accept this if we had an especially difficult baby, but our son is a dream with my wife being able to stay at home full time and myself working from home so the stress we have on us is far less than what can usually be expected
No.
Look up blissful creations on Etsy
Wtf is wrong with you.
You only think about yourself, what about your children that have to grow up without a dad just becourse he thought it would be amazing to have children. but not being a father for them.
There are more than enough children without fathers in this world, get a fucking grip.
But he is with YOU now, they are in the past.
He chooses to be with you!
Hello /u/Lost_Soul_K,
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I was praying you got the abortion the whole long ass post. Absolute bullet doged. Also I think your bf broke up with you already.
She just sees you as a friend. Nothing more. Never will see you as anything more.
Yeah he's a citizen on Nigeria but I'm school for Scotland but I think he's planning on staying in the UK
Isn’t it though.
I wouldn’t have dreamt of leaving after all these years but…yeah. It doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
I think it’s fair. You want the wedding and marriage and you should pay for it.
Block delete and move on
A man values a women who is discerning in her sexual partners because of what it says about him to be chosen by her.
Piece of advice. Always be mindful of your decisions in life especially those decisions that can and will greatly impact others especially when it's in a negative way
This could end up being one of those “right person, wrong time” situations. She needs to do what's best for her and her sister, and she's probably going to find that she won't have much time for a relationship anyway. And this doesn't sound like a good situation for you, either.
It's probably best for you to amicably part ways now.
His actions are not the actions of someone who is loving you and treating you with respect.
Whatever is holding you back from walking away now, you need to get past and walk away. It may cost you your savings but that’s cheaper than going down this road with his financially irresponsible thieving ar£&
No don't look past her fuck up. She cheated. I am sorry this woman will never be faithful. You have become the rebound guy for her. Save yourself by walking away. She will always drag you down in life and prevent you from going forward.
OP, I have a personal rule that I don’t tell people “I’m sorry” when they have an illness because I have an illness and I know how old that gets fast.
This SUCKS!
As this progresses, you will want someone steadfast by your side. She is showing symptoms of not being that person.
her refusal to tell her parents meant she knew this was how they would behave. She didn’t disclose that before you insisted she tell them.
she accepted distance from you during the decision month but didn’t insist on it from her parents.
she makes impulsive decisions and regrets them later.
Is is extremely vulnerable to manipulation.
Sadly, being with you is a hard road. Caregiving isn’t for the feint of heart.
Not to sound too transactional, but you may be wise in suggesting she take a few courses in caregiving. Being a CNA could help her later on when you need the care, but also would get her the experience to know what she is getting into.
Also, consider if children are an option. If you had kids today, they would be 10-15 when you decline your wife would go from caring for small children to caring for you with almost no time in between.
Add in that her parents are probably banking on her helping them as they decline (they seem like the type). And she is going to basically have 20-30 years of being a caregiver for 3-5 people.
She wont be able to live her life until she is 60+ and that is assuming the money hasn’t run out by that point because she likely will be taking care of so many people that she wont have time to work.
If you do have kids, they will be at a significant risk of parentification even if 100% healthy. That can really mess people up over the years.
Consider a long engagement at this point. I know you are excited to set a date, but her taking a few caregiving courses and maybe volunteering in a skilled nursing facility might help her understand the challenges.
A long engagement could also give her parents time to either calm down and stop being asses or to really show their true colors.
There are no good answers, only shades of bad.
It doesn't need to be about anything regarding you. But you immediatedly wondering if it is your fault for being yourself is a huge red flag.
Does he make you feel small and not enough?
She has a boyfriend and doesn’t want him, she thinks he’s gross lol.
He didn’t “forget” anything. That’s bullshit. And of course he’s desperate to make it up to you. He sexually assaulted you and he’s afraid you’ll charge him, which you absolutely should do. At the very least dump him and never be alone with him again. I’m sorry this happened to you.
He just wants to keep getting laid while he gets over her, its really kinda disgusting tbh.
My wife and I share finances 100%. There isn't a pot of money that either of us have. We also don't restrict purchases under about $300 from each other. Nothing wrong with that.
How about a weekend trip together at a bed and breakfast? Maybe it could include seeing a live sports game? If you want something smaller, maybe a weekend breakfast at a nice breakfast restaurant?
I'd accept this if we had an especially difficult baby, but our son is a dream with my wife being able to stay at home full time and myself working from home so the stress we have on us is far less than what can usually be expected