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ahinoaa chat
Date: September 25, 2022
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You got played hard. Run away, bro. ASAP
You two got together when he was old enough to have graduated college while you were a teen, and he's now trying to pressure you into sexual acts you don't want.
I'm shocked.
So were you cheating? Is it normal to just go do your own personal chores during your working hours? Why did you smell like perfume? You didn’t try to deny it, just give a couple of justifications – is it because you knew you did smell of perfume?
Are you made out to be the bad guy, or are you actually the bad guy? It’s just, she’s the one willing to leave her home.
You said you gave her divorce papers just to see how she’d react. Did you want to see if she’d cave under the bluff? Otherwise, you shouldn’t be here, you’ve made the decision to end the relationship already, right?
This is a very foolish time for you to be making these kind of decisions. If she wanted to be with the crush so bad she would have already been doing that instead of breaking all contact with him and going to you about it. If I was her I would not get back with you after your three to six month break just for the fact that I would feel you are trying to force and push me to crushes. I would not pick them of you at that point.
No relationship is worth this, I hope you know that.
I would admit to her that you're going to dump her.
Actually they were both planned and I am on birth control. As Ive said before this has nothing to do with my children and before now we were doing perfectly fine. I have probably been through a shit ton more and accomplished more than the average 30 year old and if I could have left our ages off the post I would have and the conversation would be completely different. I am looking for support and advise if you’re just here to come at me for getting married and having children young then get off the post
You need to be honest with your wife and honest with yourself. You need to tell her your fears regarding loving the baby.
You should go with her to the therapy appointments and get some yourself.
He’s like a brother to me is the biggest of the big red flags OP, ???You sew those red flags together and paraglide away from that friendship
There are plenty opportunities to be in a relationship. You will have another one. But in all fairness, I think we all feel that way if I don’t hold onto what I have, I won’t get anything else.
When you’re picking a partner and I want you to think of yourself as picking a partner, you have to pick somebody you think you can actually live with for a long time. That’s the whole point to getting involved with somebody. And you’re young if you have any kind of libido this won’t work forever .
I have noticed in life the higher you reach up the more you get. Is that superficial maybe, but it’s a way to live your life or you can be faithful and good and have a long-term situation when it comes to love.
Get the best that you can get don’t settle for something you don’t really even want. Eventually, if you wanted to, you could be friends with her.
You made to need to figure this out at your own pace, though, so don’t break up before you’re not ready. I have seen people that don’t fall in love that quickly at the beginning overtime develop a deep and if I didn’t love and respect.
Aww I hope he’s okay. As someone who struggles with IBS this is my worst nightmare 🙁 idk what you’re trying to do but if you’re into him I would hit him up and not make a big deal out of it. If not, let him recover ?
Yeah, he may really not be able to give you the type of relationship you crave. That's not dumping on him, we all are different. Either find other outlets (gal friends are a good one) or leave the relationship to find something better. Just don't think you can come back if you do.
I'm normally a proponent of total honesty, but in this case that would just be asking for trouble. The good news is, you actually don't need it.
The first time we ever hung out as the three of us, my girlfriend wanted to see how I felt about having a threesome but only she would get to fuck her friend and I would basically just be there.
That right there is weird. I feel like that's Part 2 of a conversation that hasn't yet had a Part 1.
Now, before you (or anyone else) get up on your high horse, it should be pointed out that this is not immoral or unethical. You're allowed to feel sexual attraction to people who aren't your current partner. This is especially true because you can't actually control who you feel sexual attraction to. It's a thing that just happens, whether or not you choose it. Additionally, the best definition of cheating I've ever seen is, “Something you feel you have to hide from your partner.” Your girlfriend feels that she can be honest about her desires, share them with you, and ask you permission to act on them. That's actually incredibly healthy. It shows she trusts you a lot.
No, the reason this whole thing is weird is because, apparently this is normal for her, but it doesn't sound like you know it's normal for her.
If your girlfriend wants to act on feelings of sexual attraction that don't target you, that's a discussion you and she need to have. And you haven't had it. Instead of starting with this general idea of, “Look, here's who I am, here's how I want to live my life,” she's going straight to the specifics. (Or, at least, so your post makes it seem; meaning no disrespect, but you only wrote one paragraph, so I have to assume that at least a couple details were left out. 😉 )
Your girlfriend doesn't owe it to you to change her personality. She isn't obligated to become a person she isn't. She only owes you one thing: transparency. She owes you a clear and honest explanation of who she is and how she wants to live life. She owes you a clear and honest explanation of what her urges are and why she wants to express them. And the fact that she hasn't done that is what smells fishy to me. It's what I would confront her on.
(And if you really must bring up the snooping, this would be the context to do it. “I felt threatened by your actions. I'm not saying that this justified me snooping; that was wrong, and I apologize. But I hope you can understand why I felt threatened at all.”)
I meant the option as in, it’s hard to find anyone who hasn’t got a massive number of casual partners at this age