Not with him, there isn't. Don't look back in 30 years regretting staying with him. Admit defeat and start over with someone else. But with that person, hold back and don't be the one to initiate things.
Ok go ahead and act like I’m the problem. But he’s the one that offered. And if he’s doing this shit just proves I can’t trust him. And yeah maybe I should just break up with him. I don’t fucking know
Yeah, you're right, my self-esteem is basically non-existent. I haven't had much luck with women in the recent past, because I don't really get out there and being on Tinder if you're not attractive is basically self-esteem suicide.
I am able to be confident around her a lot more than usual, which makes no sense to me at all. She knows i'm self conscious.
If you mean how long Linda and I have been going on for, we met 1on1 for the first time last week on Tuesday, after we hung out at my best friend's. Since then we texted, called, or hung out every single day.
Especially given they'd only been dating 2-3 months at that point! I would be really overwhelmed and uncomfortable if someone I'd JUST started dating dropped that much money on gifts for me. This guy seems selfish separate from that but $20 is a much more appropriate cost for a gift at that stage than $600.
I don’t think that changes anything with yo situation, which is sharing household duties and expectations of eachother in twrms of roles in relationship and home
I would not really blame her for her past reaction, because many abusive cheaters make themselves look like saints, to gain the new gf trust. My ex painted me as the abuser, when he was the one abusing me in any way possible. I was a bad mom, bad gf, I cheated on him, dirty, abused my son, lazy, etc etc. He told the same to everyone who would listen. So she was probably blind, he probably even created fake texts to sustain his story and all that. They lie because they know a lot of women have a nurturing side, so they want us to feel bad for them, and it works.
About what to do now, I agree with others. Do not get personally involved. Send her links of where to call and that's it. Is not your responsibility to save her. It sucks to be in that situation but getting involved in it will only cause him to focus his attention to you again.
Here's a thought – everyone will age. Even if he chooses a 20 year old girl she will eventually be >30 years old. Fuck that noise, setting OP up to be afraid of what will happen to every. Single. Human.
sorry man but if you do not you should bounce. Normally i would say try to work it out and come around but if shes got a medical issue that is causing this situation to have a time limit you need to bounce and let her find someone whos ready
I actually 100% agree with this, it was the second reason besides the age gap that I was avoiding her… but then she gave her 2 week notice 1 week ago. Which is when family amped up voicing their opinions.
Why would your wife even want to be with you ever again? Once a cheater always a cheater. What a POS you are. I hope someone makes you suffer someday too…
No. He did this to try and force you to interact with him again, if you contact him then it worked and he knows how to force more interactions in the future.
Correct your friends, tell them he was abusive and you left to get away from him, tell them you’re fine, ask them not to share any information about you with him, and then let it go.
Exactly sex for nice things is a way of low key prostitution when you’re have no intention of having a relationship with him. The man is still wearing the ring.
Did you even bother to read my comment or the comment I replied to? This isn't a competition – I replied to someone suggesting OP is a safe person and the apartment a safe space despite the fact OP SA'd the guy in that same “safe space.” No one would ever say this if OP was a guy sticking his hand down his girlfriend's pants – OP would be getting raked over the coals for that, but there's people here giving OP a pass.
Yes OP people can have their opinions, right or wrong the decision is yours alone to make. If you are ready and willing to have the child, I'd say go for it. Your husband made his bed and now he has to lie in it without you.
I don’t know if you will get divorced or not as that is up to you. I’m am so sorry that you are going through this. And you may not be feeling as strong inside but I LOVE how you have decided that you are worth more than this, you are strong and you are making sure that you are putting yourself and your babies first. And ultimately you are going to do what’s best for you – whether that’s moving on or not. But whatever your choices are they will be because YOU made them and not because you were afraid to do anything but react to what choices your husband makes. You are worth it!
This relationship is over. Say goodbye to the dogs and move on with your life. She clearly doesn’t respect you – based on the comments you’ve made about her cheating throughout your entire relationship.
I could go and find 100 stories of people breaking up after finding out from a third party about their partners cheating and they were actually cheating
I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing here in terms of your assumption of what could happen in the future, but it’s honestly irrelevant here.
Let’s put things into perspective. You had a fight resulting in you blocking him. That’s certainly an unhealthy way to handle a fight.
Then you get a notification from a random who’s inappropriate. We obviously learn it’s his friend. So there’s two things from there; first, you’ve been together for nearly a year and you’re unaware of an obviously close friend of his? That’s odd. Not saying you’re the problem there to be clear.
Second, to tie into my first statement, I wouldn’t even remotely be thinking about the concern that if your boyfriend did this then he probably has or will share private things of you. Now, of course the might be true, but specific to this event, he gave his friend your Snapchat username. Out of context, I wouldn’t see that as even remotely an issue.
However, in context, it’s inappropriate and unacceptable because of the reason it happened. He wasn’t just giving out your information and giving the go ahead to ask for pictures. I assure you that he asked his friend to add you and then ask for pictures as some sort of test. That’s your boyfriend being an insecure asshole. It’s him telling you he doesn’t trust you. Now THAT should certainly be a deal breaker.
You then say you don’t trust him. That’s the end of it. Healthy relationships don’t work without trust and neither of you trust each other. But I think you’re overreacting to be worried that he’s going to share huge things because he shared a username. It’s quite a stretch. Good luck.
It's up to you. If you want a relationship with your current boyfriend, then you need to distance yourself from your crush. If you want a relationship with your crush, then you need to break up with your current boyfriend.
First you make a report to your HR department and tell them about the botched relationship with him. Besides of that: If you have to work with him, keep it absolutely professional. Only work related and that's it. No relationsship talk at work. If someone asks: We have broken up.
Then you send him a message that he fairly well knows that you don't drive so that he please put your stuff in a box and bring it either to your place or hands it over at work.
Do his behaviors appear as red flags?
Yes, absolutely. Breach of trust, inability to communicate, controlling behaviour. Just be glad you found out early and move on.
If he says he's unhappy, he's unhappy. If you're happy, you're happy. Why is it strange that you're happy and he's not? Your feelings can be independent of each other.
She broke the parameters of the break. So, yes it is. In this case.
She also decided the relationship is over but keeping you around, in case.
You're both immature in your ways of dealing with things, generally need to work on communication. Couple therapy might be in your future.
Not with him, there isn't. Don't look back in 30 years regretting staying with him. Admit defeat and start over with someone else. But with that person, hold back and don't be the one to initiate things.
OP, what extactly did you say?
Ok go ahead and act like I’m the problem. But he’s the one that offered. And if he’s doing this shit just proves I can’t trust him. And yeah maybe I should just break up with him. I don’t fucking know
Yeah, you're right, my self-esteem is basically non-existent. I haven't had much luck with women in the recent past, because I don't really get out there and being on Tinder if you're not attractive is basically self-esteem suicide.
I am able to be confident around her a lot more than usual, which makes no sense to me at all. She knows i'm self conscious.
If you mean how long Linda and I have been going on for, we met 1on1 for the first time last week on Tuesday, after we hung out at my best friend's. Since then we texted, called, or hung out every single day.
Well if it’s illegal then she’s right in freaking out..
Thank you
Especially given they'd only been dating 2-3 months at that point! I would be really overwhelmed and uncomfortable if someone I'd JUST started dating dropped that much money on gifts for me. This guy seems selfish separate from that but $20 is a much more appropriate cost for a gift at that stage than $600.
It's only TWO months and she finds you/the relationship boring…
Move on to someone who actually likes you and finds you interesting.
I don’t think that changes anything with yo situation, which is sharing household duties and expectations of eachother in twrms of roles in relationship and home
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I would not really blame her for her past reaction, because many abusive cheaters make themselves look like saints, to gain the new gf trust. My ex painted me as the abuser, when he was the one abusing me in any way possible. I was a bad mom, bad gf, I cheated on him, dirty, abused my son, lazy, etc etc. He told the same to everyone who would listen. So she was probably blind, he probably even created fake texts to sustain his story and all that. They lie because they know a lot of women have a nurturing side, so they want us to feel bad for them, and it works.
About what to do now, I agree with others. Do not get personally involved. Send her links of where to call and that's it. Is not your responsibility to save her. It sucks to be in that situation but getting involved in it will only cause him to focus his attention to you again.
You can’t be her therapist and she doesn’t sound like she’s mentally healthy enough to be dating anyone. This will only bring you misery.
Here's a thought – everyone will age. Even if he chooses a 20 year old girl she will eventually be >30 years old. Fuck that noise, setting OP up to be afraid of what will happen to every. Single. Human.
sorry man but if you do not you should bounce. Normally i would say try to work it out and come around but if shes got a medical issue that is causing this situation to have a time limit you need to bounce and let her find someone whos ready
I actually 100% agree with this, it was the second reason besides the age gap that I was avoiding her… but then she gave her 2 week notice 1 week ago. Which is when family amped up voicing their opinions.
Why would your wife even want to be with you ever again? Once a cheater always a cheater. What a POS you are. I hope someone makes you suffer someday too…
It's almost lije youre saying PPD is an excuse for cheating? I'm not sure most people would agree with that.
Do I contact him and tell him to stop?
No. He did this to try and force you to interact with him again, if you contact him then it worked and he knows how to force more interactions in the future.
Correct your friends, tell them he was abusive and you left to get away from him, tell them you’re fine, ask them not to share any information about you with him, and then let it go.
They're playing pokemon go
Apparently she made the other guy(s?) happy too.
Exactly sex for nice things is a way of low key prostitution when you’re have no intention of having a relationship with him. The man is still wearing the ring.
Did you even bother to read my comment or the comment I replied to? This isn't a competition – I replied to someone suggesting OP is a safe person and the apartment a safe space despite the fact OP SA'd the guy in that same “safe space.” No one would ever say this if OP was a guy sticking his hand down his girlfriend's pants – OP would be getting raked over the coals for that, but there's people here giving OP a pass.
Yes OP people can have their opinions, right or wrong the decision is yours alone to make. If you are ready and willing to have the child, I'd say go for it. Your husband made his bed and now he has to lie in it without you.
I don’t know if you will get divorced or not as that is up to you. I’m am so sorry that you are going through this. And you may not be feeling as strong inside but I LOVE how you have decided that you are worth more than this, you are strong and you are making sure that you are putting yourself and your babies first. And ultimately you are going to do what’s best for you – whether that’s moving on or not. But whatever your choices are they will be because YOU made them and not because you were afraid to do anything but react to what choices your husband makes. You are worth it!
This relationship is over. Say goodbye to the dogs and move on with your life. She clearly doesn’t respect you – based on the comments you’ve made about her cheating throughout your entire relationship.
Having an abortion, with a baby you want and feel is a gender, will destroy you. You will never forgive yourself, most likely.
This is the exception, not the rule
I could go and find 100 stories of people breaking up after finding out from a third party about their partners cheating and they were actually cheating
I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing here in terms of your assumption of what could happen in the future, but it’s honestly irrelevant here.
Let’s put things into perspective. You had a fight resulting in you blocking him. That’s certainly an unhealthy way to handle a fight.
Then you get a notification from a random who’s inappropriate. We obviously learn it’s his friend. So there’s two things from there; first, you’ve been together for nearly a year and you’re unaware of an obviously close friend of his? That’s odd. Not saying you’re the problem there to be clear.
Second, to tie into my first statement, I wouldn’t even remotely be thinking about the concern that if your boyfriend did this then he probably has or will share private things of you. Now, of course the might be true, but specific to this event, he gave his friend your Snapchat username. Out of context, I wouldn’t see that as even remotely an issue.
However, in context, it’s inappropriate and unacceptable because of the reason it happened. He wasn’t just giving out your information and giving the go ahead to ask for pictures. I assure you that he asked his friend to add you and then ask for pictures as some sort of test. That’s your boyfriend being an insecure asshole. It’s him telling you he doesn’t trust you. Now THAT should certainly be a deal breaker.
You then say you don’t trust him. That’s the end of it. Healthy relationships don’t work without trust and neither of you trust each other. But I think you’re overreacting to be worried that he’s going to share huge things because he shared a username. It’s quite a stretch. Good luck.
Get over yourself dude.
It's up to you. If you want a relationship with your current boyfriend, then you need to distance yourself from your crush. If you want a relationship with your crush, then you need to break up with your current boyfriend.
Next time he says he’ll kill himself and disappears like this, call the police and have him placed on a psych hold at the hospital.
Let the medical professionals deal with him and leave him for good
First you make a report to your HR department and tell them about the botched relationship with him. Besides of that: If you have to work with him, keep it absolutely professional. Only work related and that's it. No relationsship talk at work. If someone asks: We have broken up.
Then you send him a message that he fairly well knows that you don't drive so that he please put your stuff in a box and bring it either to your place or hands it over at work.
Do his behaviors appear as red flags?
Yes, absolutely. Breach of trust, inability to communicate, controlling behaviour. Just be glad you found out early and move on.
You know that he’s disrespectful and you also really didn’t see this coming from a mile away? You made your bed…
If OP's husband hasn't chastised his coworker for saying such mean things to his wife, further evidence that's he's ?️.
That’s another conversation to have entirely, one I agree with, but was an example of how she cares and is not disgusting like you said.
Dump her cheating ass
Oh god, well that’s another bathroom I’m never using again.
Or rather “eventually due for a trade in”
Just keep telling yourself how much of a dbag he is…it won’t work immediately but eventually you’ll wonder why you ever liked him in the first place.
Please get yourself and your poor dog out of there.
If he says he's unhappy, he's unhappy. If you're happy, you're happy. Why is it strange that you're happy and he's not? Your feelings can be independent of each other.