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Big squirt [Multi Goal]
Date: October 19, 2022
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Big squirt [Multi Goal]
Everyone has feelings. Most people recognise that doesn’t excuse poor behaviour and treating others badly.
Your boyfriend feels entitled to punish others for his hurt feelings and can’t control his emotional reactions. This is not a safe environment for you. “Look what you made me do” is straight from the domestic abusers’ favourite playbook.
Watch out for precursors to physical violence- shouldering you out of the way, grabbing you roughly to “move you out of the way” but gripping you painfully even to leave finger bruises, pushing you down on the bed, using his size to block doorways or intimidate you. You may have seen some of these already but if he’s now comfortable enough to blow up this much over a veggie sandwich, this spiral is only escalating.
Prepare for exit.
My man has told me some if his deepest hurts and fears and I'd never dream of using them as ammo during an argument because I LOVE HIM. He is my partner, not my foe. I don't think it's uncommon for women to treat their loves this way. I just think there ARE some crappy women and since this is a Relationship Advice forum, we see lots of bad examples.
we do live together and we’re quite far away from my family – but i do have some friends close by! most of them left or stopped talking to me because of him
I have been the boyfriend in that situation. Her friend tried getting her to move in with him and another guy. At that time i knew one of them had a crush on her, but now i know for sure that both of them do. I told her that if she chose to move in with them, i probably just wouldn't be there. She chose not to do it. It really comes down to what you prioritize. But you really have to be prepared for your boyfriend leaving you over it. I'm not too jealous of a person but i would feel too uncomfortable with my girlfriend in that situation too
This is rough. Is he getting proper medical help? If not, it starts there. If he is then you need to talk with him. Talk when he’s in a good place. It starts with I love you and I want to support you. There are times though when my battery is running low and I feel that instead of helping that I’m going down the black hole with you and that’s really hard for me. Ask him what he wants you to say when this happens. I think if you approach this when he’s in a good place, he’ll be more open to coming up with a solution that works for both of you.
Did you take your important documents? You need a long term plan, not just going to your mother every time he escalates. Talk to a domestic violence organization, an attorney and a therapist.