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Room for online sex video chat lisa_love
Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1999-07-20
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Date: November 5, 2022
5'6″ 130lbs is healthy. You don't need to cut your calorie intake by 300/day. You exercise and you're mindful of the things you eat.
Similarly, counting calories to their exact number is a slippery slope for me. It started with good intentions, then I'd run extra on days my calorie intake was higher (but still normal). Then I started freaking out if my daily calorie intake was above 1,000, so I kept it below that. Then, 800 seemed too high, so I started purging along with skipping meals. I had people commending me for being “healthy”, telling me I looked great, asking for dieting tips etc. Meanwhile, I was mentally unwell, physically trashed, I had ulcers in my mouth and throat, no energy, my eyes look dead from pictures during that time.
I'm rambling and projecting my own issues, I'm sure. All of this to say that I can't and won't count calories anymore. I won't obsessively check my weight on the scale, body check in the mirror, starve myself or purge. I'm in a better mindset now, but if my husband was acting the way your boyfriend is, I could easily slip back into that ED. Tracking exercise progress would feel too close to my former unhealthy habits.
5'6″ 130lbs is healthy. You don't need to cut your calorie intake by 300/day. You exercise and you're mindful of the things you eat.
Similarly, counting calories to their exact number is a slippery slope for me. It started with good intentions, then I'd run extra on days my calorie intake was higher (but still normal). Then I started freaking out if my daily calorie intake was above 1,000, so I kept it below that. Then, 800 seemed too high, so I started purging along with skipping meals. I had people commending me for being “healthy”, telling me I looked great, asking for dieting tips etc. Meanwhile, I was mentally unwell, physically trashed, I had ulcers in my mouth and throat, no energy, my eyes look dead from pictures during that time.
I'm rambling and projecting my own issues, I'm sure. All of this to say that I can't and won't count calories anymore. I won't obsessively check my weight on the scale, body check in the mirror, starve myself or purge. I'm in a better mindset now, but if my husband was acting the way your boyfriend is, I could easily slip back into that ED. Tracking exercise progress would feel too close to my former unhealthy habits.
Honestly if I invited my partner to a family get together and they weren’t involved in the planning I wouldn’t expect them to pay anything. I would foot the bill for them. As they would be my plus one. So that aspect to me is kinda odd.
Him not understanding the value of money will be a problem that’ll pop up numerous times. If he can’t understand that a certain amount of money can be either cheap or expensive compared to a person’s income. I had an ex boyfriend who earned a high wage while I was on a low wage at the time with no savings to my name. He had plenty of savings etc. When it came to planning to live together he couldn’t understand that my monthly wage simply couldn’t cover 50% of all the bills and rent. I just didn’t have enough money to live in his area if he expected me to pay 50/50 which wasn’t possible until I got a better job. He wasn’t prepared to move to cheaper area. So we never moved in together because I couldn’t afford to.
If I were you I would explain I would love to go but I simply can’t afford the cost so this time around I unfortunately won’t be able to join you.
That's financial abuse. You are scared because you are literally watching your mother be abused.
Just tell him that you are not prepared to add on more debt and pressure at this moment and you will be happy to spend Christmas next year but cannot afford it this year as he knows already that you’re struggling
Haha true good idea
Lied and didn’t take accountability, more of that won’t end well for you
Normally I'd say don't marry, but with you two… honestly it doesn't matter.
It depends. If you know that the person is cheating, then yes it's wrong. If you don't, then I don't blame you for it.
“yes, I came.”
The only reason the age gap matters in this case is that he is way way too old (even with BPD) to be acting this way toward you. You need space to get your own mind right, and he’s doing nothing but dragging your down to his level.
Just curious.. what makes it depressing to you?
I’m definitely going to give him a chance since he hasn’t done me wrong in any way and genuinely seems like an amazing guy, but I think I’m gonna tread lightly if that makes sense. Happy to hear your relationship ended up being the real deal :))
Thank you for being understanding, although the rest of the comments are on her side (fair enough I may think).
To answer your question, we are in a long distance relationship, which makes it hard to make plans because of a couple issues (money as the main one). We sure meet for our anniversaries, but not for the holidays and such (Easter, Christmas, New Year's, birthdays) as she spends them with her parents as a family tradition.
That means she isn't able to send much texts on these situations. My friends invited me and I accepted because I see friends every few months. If she were here irl, I would've talked about inviting her too, and I know my friends would've accepted it! I love including her in what I do if she feels comfortable joining me.
It sound like the sex should be the least of your concerns. Reacting to a partner with disqust and idiocy is not a loving and caring relationship. You should had talked about her reaction and how you felt.
10% of the time she responds like that? It should be 5% and then she immediately apologizes or works it out with you.
Anyway couples counseling would help you two communicate about sex if it's too uncomfortable.
He loves when I dress this way (I’m more goth) so I’d have on multiple layers like tights, a jacket, etc. He understands why I dress modest around them but I told him it’s not my job to make anyone feel comfortable anymore since it’s making me so miserable
My last paragraph addresses the fact that he did indeed break a boundary.
All of that just because he called you a pain in the ass? Y'know what? He's right.
Sharing a shower or bath is generally harmless and has no trauma or impact on the kids, however the issue is that YOU are uncomfortable with it and weren't taken into consideration. As you're uncomfortable showering with your girls, I'd imagine this isn't a shock to your wife and she's aware how you'd feel about someone else bathing with your kids, so she really should have mentioned it beforehand or asked for your input.
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Okay. I'll try to have a conversation about it in person with him. What kinds of things should I be asking?
I don’t think unless you have one and have been conditioned by society that it means something that we will truly get it. It is weird. Cause I certainly have turned down sex with men who are just simply a … hell no! They may get all the bragging rights but most women (except for size queens, yolo) are just not into it as men seem to be into it. There’s something we just can’t get and that’s okay. Being aware of your partner’s insecurities, even when you don’t get it is par for the course of the relationship. OP need to apologize to him, if he wants to talk about the way he feels great but otherwise give him time to get past it. Also initiate sex and show that man some enthusiasm, when he is ready. Women have a lot of hang ups put on us by society as well and we don’t expect men to understand how we feel, just that we feel that way.
Take me with it too
Gather evidence, show to BF and state your decision
As a mental health professional who has been in an identical situation to this when I was in high school, please listen to me: your Mom is rightfully angry and heartbroken, but this situation with her feelings is ONLY between her and your Dad. Your Dad didn’t abandon your family. He abandoned your Mom. It is wrong for her to try to emotionally blackmail you into choosing a side. You don’t ever have to choose a side. You don’t have to let your Mom brainwash you against your Dad. Your parent’s divorce does not have to negatively impact your relationship with your Dad. Your Dad’s new wife might actually be really cool. Give her a chance to show you. It would mean a lot into your Dad. Things will de-escalate and settle down with your Mom’s emotional reactions someday. And someday she might remarry. Like I said, this happened to me many years ago in high school, and my Dad tried to make my stepdad into the bad guy and poison us against him and my Mom. Tried to say my Mom only married my stepdad for all the wrong reasons. But you know what? Almost 20 years later, my Mom is still married to my stepdad (AP), and I consider him just as much a part of my family as anyone. I mean it when I say I love him a lot for taking such good care of my Mom for so long. He continues to make my Mom really happy. And my bio Dad unfortunately passed a little over a year ago, and my Stepdad walked me down the aisle when I got married last year. I’m sure it would mean the world to your Dad that you are at least supportive of his happiness with his new love. Your Mom is bluffing and being manipulative with her ultimatum. Don’t let her use you as leverage to hurt your Dad. It’s not good for anybody. Tell her, “Mom, I understand why you are extremely hurt and it’s going to take some time to adjust after what’s happened. It’s normal. However, I will not let you use your anger to try to manipulate me into disowning my Dad and his wife. I love you, but I’m not taking a side”. I wish you the best, OP. It’s a tough situation.
If we didn’t have any backstory, and all we knew is that mom was giving this ultimatum, everyone would be calling it parental alienation. Which is emotional abuse, the fact that he cheated doesn’t change that fact. Unless they’re a danger to be around, there is no reason a parent should try to break their child’s relationship with their parent.
Well said!!!
She is 14 years old.
I did that shit too when I was 13, pretending to be older and very popular.
They already said no. Asking one more time to try again is trying to convince them don't you see? You're too blinded right now. What's the point even, when they're moving away soon.
You’ve got to put your energy and time into new hobbies and people outside of your current group. I don’t know if you have “ meetup” where you are, but joining activities that reflect your interests is a great way of changing your social context. Then you can very naturally become “too busy” pursuing your new interests and slowly fade out of your enmeshment with your current group without needing to have a hurtful confrontation.
All I can think of in this post is that “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
You cannot expect your GF to respect you until you do it yourself. You have zero self-respect. And when you have no respect from yourself, it is easy to accept no respect from others.
I don’t know you or your GF, but I do know this: loving, healthy relationships can survive a mental health issue like depression. It can survive this when both partners are working towards the end goal of getting past this and forging a new bond. Their relationship may not look the same, but these things in life are meant to change us, grow us, move us. You are not in a healthy relationship (with yourself or your girlfriend).
You say she has depression, and she very well may. But her refusal to 1) meet new friends, 2) get a job, 3) maintain the house, 4) be respectful of your money, 5) be respectful of you, 6) help with your father, 7) provide emotional support to you, 8) provide physical contact (not just sex) shows just how little respect, love, or care she has for you.
I am interested in what she does all day. Truly. You are working yourself into an early grave. She’s not even paying her OWN financial obligations. At the absolute very least, she should have a job that goes towards paying her own debt (from what?).
I say that it’s time for you to stop focusing on your GF’s depression and it’s time to start focusing on your own lack of respect for your time, money, and hard work. The problem is not your GF. It’s you. Once you get into a better headspace, your girlfriend will either leave (either by her own choice or yours) or she will follow in your footsteps.
But, you do need to set boundaries as others have already pointed out. She needs to pay 50% of everything starting immediately. Do speak to a lawyer about protecting yourself from the breakdown of a long-term financially supportive relationship. Protect what you have when this relationship ends.
Many telehealth appointments are available to help you get into a better headspace. I cannot stress how important this is. Make time to do one. Once you work on the root of the problem (you), you will have better tools to work on the symptoms of the problems (your unhealthy relationship).
Don't be dumb. Lawyer up, get an official custody and child support agreement, and move on.
No to both.
There’s problems in the relationship you aren’t seeing.
It’s roots are probably outside the bedroom and in your dynamics.
You gotta talk to figure that out.
Intimacy is usually a peaks and valleys thing very long term, but you constantly work on it.
If he can’t intimacy may be more symptom of a larger problem.
No probs. Yeah, it didn't look particularly fun for the men to have to face rejection at every turn. It's even worse when the person you live with is getting literally hundreds of messages a day.
Yes…but I can understand her position having not experienced her full sexuality. She may decide it's important to her. Also seeing the divorce rate the answer to your first question is no?
Dude, I would be leery of meeting you after what you wrote here. Move on with your life and let her do the same.
Yeah, it's baffling. My boyfriend has a sister, if she was even in a situation like I'd be the first to help, I love her but even if I didn't he still cares and I care for him, it's a no brainer. Plus I have abuse so it's pretty obvious what I would do. People who only think of themselves and their comfort in a relationship should choose more wisely a partner that is in the same wave length.
It's no crime to want to care for only yourself at the same time you need to find someone of the same mind and that won't be affected by that preference. Most relationships include support and boundaries, OP seems to want that. No one wants a stranger in their home too, I see that, for month on end specially. Rules like the sister will help out and look for jobs the rest of the time is a good compromise. And they can set a time frame she needs to meet or she has to move out. Of course if your partner isn't okay with that you need to move on, they don't have to change their preferences or values but neither should you.
You can’t convince someone to be accepting. He’s allowed to have his views and you can have yours. Ultimately you’re an adult and don’t need anyone to accept anything.
I do get that. But it’s hard for anyone to wrap their head around this level of pathology. Is that the one and only question they shouldn’t ask? I’m guessing there’s a lot that would bring on a strong reaction. I strongly recommend that she gets therapy.
Uuuuugh it’s so fucking dumb to buy a house together when you’re not married.
If you’re married and get divorced there is a formal legal process for dealing with the house.
Just a regular break up? No formal process. You just gotta hope he agrees to either buy you out, let you buy him out or sell. But what if he just decides to stop paying the mortgage and refuses to move out. You have zero recourse and you fuck up your credit for the rest of your life.
And he makes you feel like you’re going to die from anxiety and unhappiness. In what world do you think you will have an amicable break up where the house and mortgage get dealt with fairly. And like, you ARE going to break up. You already let him treat you like a doormat, which he knows, so ultimately he’s going to level up and either cheat or straight up steal from you.
I’m genuinely stressed that you’re considering this.
I’m really sorry for what happened to your kitten. Don’t feel bad about what you did. You did the responsible thing, which is to do what’s right for the animals even if it makes you sad. It’s a little alarming that your girlfriend doesn’t see it that way.
You can’t just throw some dogs and cats together and assume everything is going to be fine. Has she ever socialized the dogs with cats before? I’m assuming no. So why would the dogs know any better. And that’s not completely on you, it’s on her. Even five minutes of research will tell you that a slow introduction should be done between the dogs and cats and be closely monitored for a while in the beginning.
It’s safe to assume at this point that her dog has a high prey drive and shouldn’t be housed with any small animals- that probably includes other dogs. With the help of a behaviorist it’s possible that this can be changed but I wouldn’t trust the training to your girlfriend without a professional.
If I were you I’d be thinking big picture here. How people raise and treat their pets is a fairly good indicator of how they’d treat a child. So if you ever want children, maybe ask yourself if this is who you want as a partner? Someone who can’t make the hard decisions? Someone who can’t do what’s right because they care more about material things (like owning kittens) than they care about what’s really important (like said kittens lives)?
You keep saying he “doesn't understand.” He does understand. He likes treating you like shit and he understands that he can do that. And he's right because you're still here letting him treat you like shit.
There needs to be balance. I'm with my wife for 23 years now. I enjoy gaming and watching stuff on youtube which fits my interests. However I make sure we spend time together doing stuff we both like and just being with her and socializing with others. There needs to be a healthy balance.
This guy is an idiot and doesn’t seem worth the headache or the constant irritated vagina. If he can’t be receptive to you, don’t stay.
Yikes on a bike Batman. You know, for someone so adamant about not getting you pregnant, his improper condom use is just -begging- for an “accident”. If you are certain about not having children, you need to use contraceptives PROPERLY. I’d say just dump the man, but at the very least you need to take contraceptives into your own hands. There’s other non hormonal options, like female condoms. Use those or stop sleeping with him until he knows how to use a condom correctly ffs.
He’s embarrassed of your body.
?
i really don't understand, she told me this night she had nightmares, she couldn't sleep and so on. that i didnt respect her at all. i told her everything is a missunderstaning and nothing more, i didn't cheat or anything even close. she argued with me for 3 hours this morning and 4 hours yesterday
Ex-girlfriend is going to fuck with OPs immigration status.
Go talk to an attorney before ANYTHING else. You are going to need their legal advice before making any drastic changes to protect yourself. Screenshot and document what you can and provide it to the attorney
I feel like I've seen this post before
At least from my POV this leaves the door open (which is confusing me). If she didn’t want me to ask her out, why not talk up her boyfriend or husband? Other women I know will mention oh my boyfriend/fiancé/husband did this or that. But hiding that you have a partner seems like it’s keeping that door open.
she needs therapy. depression won't just go away it only gets worse if she doesn't take any action. make sure she doesn't feel alone in this, i hope she'll change her mind. you can't understand what she is going through, but you can help her. good luck
Ok… so you kind of buried the lead on the OCD thing and you probably should put that in the post.
Questions:
Are you in treatment for your OCD? 1B. Can you talk about this with your therapist.
Have you talked to HIM about what’s going on? There are other solutions like alcohol wipes and he just wipes himself down when washing his hands., etc. But finding a solution is going to require communicating.
I don’t have OCD but do have other mental health issues and I know that sometimes it’s ok to cater to the mental health if the harm of doing the thing (eating only soup for me sometimes) is less than the stress and harm of trying to not “give in”. But when the thing or mental health is doing is causing harm to us, others or a relationship then we need to address the mental health rather than cater to it.
You need to talk to your partner about this and if he’s open to simple compromises then do those but if he’s upset or feels imposed on by the compromises then you need to address this through treatment. And either way you need to talk to the person who is treating you.
P.s. 100% buy a bidet, you can get them for $50 so they attach to a toilet without damaging the toilet (and can be removed later). Get the kind that adjusts for women (period is SO much easier). This will be a HUGE help to you.
Something is fishy here. We’re not getting the whole story. You both are being toxic and there is a reason she’s reaching out to friends to figure out how to leave you. Also if your girlfriend is mad at you , respect her enough to not say it’s “silly things she mad about” grow tf up, and take responsibility. She’s valid to be upset about things just like you are. If you have a problem with her and she just brushes it off as silly things, you would be pissed as fuck too. You sound 15 not 22. I’m 24 and not mature I can admit that, but I also know when I’m in the wrong with my SO. I don’t come online and get upset because my SO is upset with me. Talk to her not us.
Eat 7 cheeseburgers followed by 7 hot dogs. Do not use napkins or cutlery.
BELCH
And then dump his idiotic ass. Life's too short to put up with this kind of crap.
I can see where you are coming from. The things I helped her improve with are things that she professed she wanted to do. She stopped failing classes, got a good job, is really happy with her body, and standing up for herself for the first time in her life. I'm not trying to take credit for these things. She's thanked me with tears in her eyes for the tough times I've helped her through.
In regards to the 'pegging' I think that's the same porn / hollywood trap you are falling into. That isn't what its about at all. I know its hard for most people to understand though.
Narcissist is as narcissist does. I'm sorry you're experiencing that.
She can be a sweetheart and still be a bad partner. I wouldn't stay with someone who insulted my body or insinuated it wasn't good enough, personally.
Get away from this person. To him, you are an object to possess and use – not a person to get to know and build something with.
Please break up.
Yeah, sorry to break it to ya but he was ripped on cocaine. 100%.
I'm with you. Objectively I'm a 4-6/10 (range allows for subjective impressions) as are 80+% of the population. Anyone who comes at me differently is signaling me that they are manipulative and can't be trusted. People are attracted to and fall in love with average-looking people all the time. I don't understand the need for people to be told they're the most beautiful person on the planet to feel worthy of love. It projects strong insecurity and a fragile ego.
BTW, I highly doubt you are a 1/10. Almost nobody is, just as almost nobody is a 10. A lot of people (not as many as who rate themselves too highly lol) rate themselves too lowly because of a low self-image. As much as it annoys me that many people need to pretend that they're a 9 or 10, try not to sell yourself short. You're probably better-looking than you think.
Can you hook up with another guy?.. i mean you and your friends kind of set her up for failure with a guy like that just to lose her virginity. It also depends on how she feels about him, if she is invested emotionally even if nothing else happens with him she would think you have betrayed her. If she is not, and now just wants to explore other relationships, then tell her (or don't just do it on the low). At the end of the day is a casual hook-up with your random weed smoker more important than your friendship? Then you'll have your answer
Good luck
Are you really so desperate for a relationship that you want to deal with this mess? Because you described exactly zero good things about him. He is either so desperate for a relationship himself that he doesn't care who his partner is, OR, only wants sex and thinks you're stupid enough to sleep with him if he tells you he loves you.
He treated you like shit.
his partner sought intimacy outside their marriage, he reacted in a very controlling manner after he found out
So she cheated and he didn't like that? Why'd you frame it in the most unfavorable way possible.
due to comments from a friend and fear that my family will always secretly hate him
At the end of the day the decision has to be yours, not what you think other people will think of him.
That being said everyone probably thinks what they think for good reason. So it's up to you:
Has he changed enough? Does it matter? Is the damage already done? What is the likelihood he'll fall back into whatever it was he was doing?
Also not insignificant is the fact that your therapist doesn't support your relationship. He has clearly done a lot of damage for a therapist to straight-up recommend this. So two months of good behavior is nice, but it's not proof of sustainable change. The money and words of affirmation are nice, but those aside, will he be fundamentally and sustainably better? He needs more time to prove that.
Does she add the salary plus rental income vs your salary? Or is it salary vs salary? If she only accounts salary vs salary she needs to include rental income into her salary then reanalyze the spilt.
It's not only bait, often times the purpose behind these posts is far more sinister: these posts are often recruitment posts.
The goal is to craft a story that paints a group in a bad light and wait for comments to come in that show who is open to radicalization. They'll invite these people into Discord groups and begin the redpill process.
The most popular recruitment posts are a trans person hiding their status, a woman baby trapping a man, or a man being falsely accused of rape.
These groups also trawl the subreddit and brigade posts, if you've ever wondered why a new post suddenly has a dozen or so comments all blaming the woman that's what's happening.
Honestly, Poly + Mono relationships almost always fail, especially at your age.
If we want to call these values then you value your life and safety, he does not. Remember, there once was a famous serial killer who preyed on kind hearted college girls by pretending to be struggling and crippled. Your bf has no idea what it’s like to walk in the shoes of women and just how much we instinctively have to look out for ourselves.
Certain things are easier said than done depending on your circumstances. As a girl, I can’t imagine ever picking up a hitchhiker due to a fear of it being dangerous. While it’s admirable that he wants to help others, he should be conscientious of your safety and comfort. There’s other ways to help people that don’t necessarily need to put yourself in risk