Dude run! You're in danger if you stay with her. She's be physically violent with you, called the cops on you, lie about your blood being hers, which could have gotten you arrested and thrown in jail. Where the hell were her parents during all of this? You need to get the fuck away from her. She doesn't love or care about you at all. She will make your life hell if you stay. Let her face the charges. She needs to be held accountable for her actions. She will not get to use alcohol as an excuse when she goes be the Judge.
It’s okay OP. You have food and shelter right ? Just take your time and let yourself process your thoughts. Don’t get caught up in anything that causes more anxiety like alcohol. ?
The situation he’s offering is not a good one for you. He’s asking you to pay more than you would for something you want towards something that doesn’t meet your needs (but rather finances his). What you moving in does is relieve the financial overextension he made for himself independently. OP, please get your own place, spend less, study, save money, invest in your own future. It’s clear he doesn’t take your studying seriously, and if you move in together it will come up as a repeated theme. Moving in with him in this way will create a lot of frustration, resentment, and (you seem like a very goal oriented person) it is not conducive to you having an environment in which you can confidently and securely work towards your goals.
I think what hurts your husband more is that you moved on and it's now very clear he was the reason you were unable to conceive. He said he wasn't happy and essentially left you. If you terminate and try to repair your marriage he still won't be happy and will probably not be able to move past this.
Your marriage was over when he slept with someone else a week after getting separated. Don't let him blame you for it. Talk to a lawyer and ensure your financial security.
Tread carefully with this new guy and just take it slow. He seems like a great partner to have in parenthood let everything else evolve naturally.
Also, make sure you're seeing a therapist to help you process all of these changes. The end of a 14year marriage is bound to prompt some feelings that will only get more intense with hormones.
If people are mad, let them be mad. This is your life and you're not the warden of other people's emotions.
At the end of the day this will be your decision and everyone else will have to deal with it. I think you'll be a great Mom and before you know it, all the negative noise will disappear more and more as this life grows inside of you.
Look up Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That?. Specifically, read the part where he talks about “Mr Right”. I think you'll find a lot of similarities with your husband. Also: do not attempt to go to counseling with your husband. That will only make it worse.
Eh, you told him a truth, it hit home – he's guitar and you called him on it. It's done. Turns out if anyone's the “little girl” it's him, after all he went crying to the bride, so if the pretty frock fits what more is there to say.
Look, he doesn't want to face you, there's that pesky guilt again.
Advice: it's done, it's over with. You cannot change the past. He can't change what he did. The consequences are that dear old Bob can choose not to attend the wedding, which is really pathetic he should go to support someone who considers him a friend (poor Alice, turns out he's not her friend really) and all he had to do was nod at you and just not spend time with you – but he couldn't even do that.
So just treat it as the message was sent, I guess he was trying to manipulate the couple with guilt to have them remove you from the wedding. So just let it go and move on.
Sounds like she’s using you. Once her debt is cleared I wonder if she’ll stick around.
Dude run! You're in danger if you stay with her. She's be physically violent with you, called the cops on you, lie about your blood being hers, which could have gotten you arrested and thrown in jail. Where the hell were her parents during all of this? You need to get the fuck away from her. She doesn't love or care about you at all. She will make your life hell if you stay. Let her face the charges. She needs to be held accountable for her actions. She will not get to use alcohol as an excuse when she goes be the Judge.
You lied about why you're not having kids, but the outcome is the same : no kids.
He lied about using protection! He put your health at risk! He tried to manipulate you into parenthood! He ignored your wishes to serve his own!
Why would you want to make up with such an untrustworthy man who showed so little respect for you?
It’s okay OP. You have food and shelter right ? Just take your time and let yourself process your thoughts. Don’t get caught up in anything that causes more anxiety like alcohol. ?
The situation he’s offering is not a good one for you. He’s asking you to pay more than you would for something you want towards something that doesn’t meet your needs (but rather finances his). What you moving in does is relieve the financial overextension he made for himself independently. OP, please get your own place, spend less, study, save money, invest in your own future. It’s clear he doesn’t take your studying seriously, and if you move in together it will come up as a repeated theme. Moving in with him in this way will create a lot of frustration, resentment, and (you seem like a very goal oriented person) it is not conducive to you having an environment in which you can confidently and securely work towards your goals.
I think what hurts your husband more is that you moved on and it's now very clear he was the reason you were unable to conceive. He said he wasn't happy and essentially left you. If you terminate and try to repair your marriage he still won't be happy and will probably not be able to move past this.
Your marriage was over when he slept with someone else a week after getting separated. Don't let him blame you for it. Talk to a lawyer and ensure your financial security.
Tread carefully with this new guy and just take it slow. He seems like a great partner to have in parenthood let everything else evolve naturally.
Also, make sure you're seeing a therapist to help you process all of these changes. The end of a 14year marriage is bound to prompt some feelings that will only get more intense with hormones.
If people are mad, let them be mad. This is your life and you're not the warden of other people's emotions.
At the end of the day this will be your decision and everyone else will have to deal with it. I think you'll be a great Mom and before you know it, all the negative noise will disappear more and more as this life grows inside of you.
It's too fast. Period.
Look up Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That?. Specifically, read the part where he talks about “Mr Right”. I think you'll find a lot of similarities with your husband. Also: do not attempt to go to counseling with your husband. That will only make it worse.
How do I sound like a jerk? Is it because I called her monkey? Not really that deep just the first thought that came to mind.
Eh, you told him a truth, it hit home – he's guitar and you called him on it. It's done. Turns out if anyone's the “little girl” it's him, after all he went crying to the bride, so if the pretty frock fits what more is there to say.
Look, he doesn't want to face you, there's that pesky guilt again.
Advice: it's done, it's over with. You cannot change the past. He can't change what he did. The consequences are that dear old Bob can choose not to attend the wedding, which is really pathetic he should go to support someone who considers him a friend (poor Alice, turns out he's not her friend really) and all he had to do was nod at you and just not spend time with you – but he couldn't even do that.
So just treat it as the message was sent, I guess he was trying to manipulate the couple with guilt to have them remove you from the wedding. So just let it go and move on.
Opening up a struggling relationship is almost always the death of it.