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I AM BACKKKK!! GOAL IS SHOW FULL NUDE, AND FINGER IN PUSSY [222 tokens remaining]
Date: October 18, 2022
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Yeah degrading you and isolating you from friends and family is SOP for abusers. Normally starts with spending less time with your friends and family then he acts out makes them dislike him with snide comments and such so they stop inviting you both to get togethers and it will only get worse
No. Absolutely do not open this door.
Anyone can change if they want to… … but that’s a big “if.”
Personally? It’s only been a year and a half and he’s cheating. I wouldn’t bother giving him the chance to change. Not me, at least. I’d fear wasting more time on someone that was already caught big time lying.
So the question isn’t really, will he cheat again? But are you willing to completely forgive, forget, and move on with this? Because he /could/ cheat again. That’s his choice. Your choice is whether you stay or go.
If the time spent together is mostly at her place, it's not surprising you want to keep the current arrangement more than her. It's also not fair.
Like she's already taking most of the burden of living together, right?
Yeah I mean she tells me she's sick of hearing it, but I'm like… I only brin it up when you do it, which is a lot.
Yeah that's true, you feel never know 100%, which is why a little trustworthiness would go a long way.
Well tbh she doesn't spend more time with him than me, it's just that I feel pathetic when I'm waiting for her for hours and find out she was just ignoring her phone to talk to him instead.
How did you determine whether the women you dated would like sexual intimacy after being very upset? Genuine question.
Explain the tax advantages of marriage and it may change his mind
may work, thanks for the advice!
You are not being worried for no reason, trust your gut instinct! It’s a disgusting world. Stay safe.
You know, mlms exist outside of the US as well.
This is called emotional numbness and loss of emotional connections, antidepressants are known for this and it can stay permanently. Theres no research in this at all..
Yeah, that's not even 1/2 a year, but it is 140 days, so… you'll have to consider all the angles…
Or a 34 year old manchild (in the case of my ex)
There are times when she’s decent to me
Buddy, your relationship bar is in the fucking dirt. 'Times when she's decent to me' is not a happy, healthy relationship. Raise your standards. There is much, much better than this out there and you are waaaay too young to chain yourself to this bottom-of-the-barrel existence for the rest of your life.
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed. Unlike the girlfriend, a woman who happens to work with you, who also happens to be living with another man.
Looks like you literally fucked around and are about to find out.
This is a giant cluster fuck no matter which way you paint it, you're not going to get out of this one lightly. And nor should she.
You didn’t tell her she was groped?
If only I thought it would be that easy. I didn’t think that some people actually believed that women don’t have bodily functions.
I got with him a month after having turned 18
This sounds like a joke. What do you do? Fart at him and leave and don’t look back.
I'm so so sorry you went through that with the people who were supposed to protect you instead.
I know it's super scary, but she has absolutely no idea what you've went through and probably isn't even close to imagining it. At 2 years in, it looks like you either need to take the next steps or let her go. Do whatever you feel ready for.
You could share the post if you can't tell her in person. Or maybe even talk to your therapist to find a way to discuss it that would cause you less stress or worry.
I hope it works out for you either way. You deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else. Just because you're parents weren't what they should have been, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you shouldn't be able to share yourself comfortably with someone else. That's out there for you, when you're ready to share that part of you with another person.
This is some red pill “manosphere” creepy bullshit. Run, girl. Run.
Again, never had it so don't know. Loving the downvotes let's just kick me while I'm down
PhD mega super galaxy brain actually
“Close your goddam door when you sleep, you snoring, commando-sleeping bastard!”
Or maybe, “Do you mind closing your door when you sleep?”
Are you only embarrassed and ashamed because you couldn't get into the head space to be okay with it or do you now resent her and feel jealous that she has sex with the other guy?
If it's just you being embarrassed about it there may be a chance but if you resent her too that's going to be really tough to get over.
He’s too old for you.
You need to be able to cry in front of your girlfriend. You need to be able to be a whole, functioning person in front of her.
I used to worry about this kind of shit, too. For the first few years of my wife and I's relationship, I was really concerned about shit like not appearing weak or vulnerable or like someone who couldn't protect their significant other. It took years- and a couple of really big fights- for me to realize and understand that this was HURTING my wife. Not being able to trust that I was being honest about my feelings and emotions made my wife feel distant from me, isolated and separated. It was stressful to always have to try and guess what I was thinking and feeling, and it created a lack of emotional intimacy between us, or at least a lopsided type, where the burden of vulnerability was always placed on my wife but never reciprocated by me.
This did damage not just to me, but to my wife and our relationship. I've had to do a lot of work in the last five or so years to try and unlearn this behavior and be the type of spouse that my wife deserves.
For context, I'm a pretty “traditionally masculine” person. I lift weights in the gym 5 days a week, can fix my own car, do manual labor, and have 'masculine' hobbies like wood working and camping. My wife is a VERY feminine person. Think frilly aprons and home making.
Anyone who tells you that women don't want you to cry in front of them has never been in a real, lasting relationship with one. Don't listen to people like that. They don't have your best interests at heart.
I will know the truth and so does God and that’s what matters.
>if someone “confesses” to an affair, that means they’re telling the truth. I don’t know if English is your first language, but if it is, that word choice is worrisome
ever heard term false confession?
Your wife is gay af
Thank you! I really appreciate this. My weekend is starting soon, so I think will be good if I just get out of town or something. I never can tell how determined she is, so maybe a few days of separation can work that out. I guess I thought I could just help her until she gets in a better emotional place, but you are right about it taking a toll. I'll start with little steps and go from there.
/r/humblebrag
If you can be happy they have each other, you'll have an easier time being included
Ignoring that a vasectomy isn't that simple why don't you have that same energy for the woman? Why doesn't she use the pill, an IUD or abstain? She has more choices than he does when it comes to preventing pregnancy.
He doesn’t want to marry you sorry. Move on.
This, exactly this!!
I honestly doubt something like she requests even exists. Does she want written proof from a psychologist that OP can never under any circumstances become abusive? I don't think psychologists do that kind of stuff…and even if they did, something may change at any point in someone's life and they may become abusive. It can never be ruled out 100% and no proof will ever be enough to somebody who has no trust in the other person.
My wife, but I don’t think that’s a fair comparison of this situation.
Yeah you're right, hearing her say she wasn't going to go to therapy my heart sunk, I think at that point I accepted this looks like it's gonna be how things are until I end them.
Just go. She doesn't want to have the kind of relationship you do. That's all there is to it.
Anything can be a date if that's what people want it to be. Not saying they planned to be on a date, but there's a difference between “asking permission” and running an idea by your partner to make sure they're comfortable.
1000% percent. It isn’t petty to stop paying for someone. She broke the contract first. End. Her. Membership. Block. Her. Number.
Don’t be a her tool. Don’t be predictable. This isn’t honor it’s pathetic. She lied, you never knew her, it wasn’t real love. Preserve your money and dignity
Ok so if I went out bowling with a gorgeous girl who I suspect has a crush on me without asking my gf and my girlfriend got upset she’s completely in the wrong? I never said she couldn’t go. I feel uncomfortable. Me being insecure is grounds for my feelings to be completely invalidated?
“You and your little mushroom cap can stay tf away then.”
I'm confused as to why she is trying to make new male friends and to be more independent when she is married to you?
Seems as though she's got the order of things out of whack.
Everything you describe here has been described many times before by many other men (and women) on this sub. Not good.
Eh this has been going on for a while now so either this story is fake or she is just a shitty human. Her post history suggests this has been going on for a while now, it’s just now the boyfriend has caught on
He actually asked me after I suggested another hangout if I liked going to the movies and said he'll text me. I'm very confused of why he hasn't texted me yet. This would have been the time to say no or make up an excuse if he really didn't want to hang out, but he came up with an idea to go to the movies. Why would he do that but still not make a move?
You didn’t come off as rude, I meant to say that your view of relationships and of cisgender men is skewed because of your past experiences. If you were or had ever been in a relationship with a normal cisgender person who respected consent, as all normal people should, then your outlook would be different.
I would ignore what your SIL has to say, and just do what works best for you. She’s prob pissed that your brother decided to take his name off the account and that she doesn’t get a share of the cash.
I have no idea whether this is a pattern for OP or whether he’s just never been this thunderstruck by someone before, but the inability to identify his own idealization is not a dazzling sign of emotional maturity. Of course it’s easy to maintain an infatuation-fueled fantasy about somebody when you don’t have to deal with their annoying habits or personal baggage — you know, real people relationship shit.
This is how he will always be, sure theres expensive therapists but ocd won't ever go away. Yes he may get better in a few areas but the bulk of this is how it'll always be. Its obviously not his fault but you can't be expected to stay if its not for you.
No. I’m sorry, but no. She has every right to say that a vasectomy is a deal breaker for her. Keep in mind, this does not just impact him. It’s her health and her body on the line too. When two people regularly have sex, it’s up to both of them to try to prevent pregnancy, and like I have said repeatedly, her body has been through more than enough at this point.
Should she be pushing so hard this early? Probably not. But OP didn’t make it sound like he was fully on board before they separated either, so maybe she is wanting to get a commitment out of him before she fully commits to getting the relationship back to where it was.
Volunteering for 1 day, what, 6 hours? Is completely useless. You’re not helping anyone. What do you do, hang out with some kids for a few hours? Then you leave and they probably never see you again? So they’re just seeing people come and go from their lives all the time. You’re doing more harm than good.
He already knows about it & we are in therapy. Not very nice of you use those words.
Which is why it’s weird OP says she talks bad about all men. I’ve seen a few videos and she responds to sexism. If you’re not being sexist then she is in fact not talking about all men
Form a holding company to own the property and grant shares to you and your father. Take the property and manage it as a rental. Split the proceeds with your father. Put those funds towards buying a place. That being said – don’t buy a place together until you are married.
Your GF has a new BF.
Someone needs to pack their bags
OP, there are certain people in this sub who have a fetish for calling guys insecure. Don’t listen to them. They’re dealing with their own baggage and taking it out on you.
She’s hiding her interactions and the extent of her relationship with her ex from you. That’s not ok and doesn’t speak to your own self worth. It’s entirely on her and you’re 100% in the right for not being comfortable with it.
Saying that she’s hiding it from you because you wouldn’t like it is a reason, but not an excuse. You’ve said she would be upset if you were hanging with an ex, which is exactly what she is doing. She’s a hypocrite and has shown she will hide things from you because you won’t like it. That’s a horrible pattern of behavior from someone you’re in a relationship with.
Speaking from experience, get out now. If she needs to work on herself to realize she needs healthy boundaries with her ex, let her do that on her own and let the breakup serve as a wake up call. You’ve made your feelings about this clear with her, and her response is to hide her contact with him from you. There’s nothing else you can do.
she cheated on me with this ex multiple times
K and her and K's husband slept in the same bed the night of the party.
“You don't trust me, what I did was six years ago.”
Look, I'm sorry, but you know what's going on here. It fucking sucks, but there is no way they are just friends. They dated. They fucked while she was married to you, and now she and her friend are absolutely crossing boundaries.
Is this the marriage you want? I know you have kids with her, but OP, that doesn't mean you have to be with a partner who doesn't want to be your partner. You are so young, and you've been in this relationship for so long.
You need to ask yourself what you want and decide if what you have now is it.
Because it doesn't get better. She cheated on you, talked you into letting her keep her fuck buddy around, and now she's over there fucking her. Again. A lot. While you are at home with the kids.
There isn't saving this.
There is only you getting a divorce, watching her hook up with her friend from a distance while you find someone that would NEVER cheat on you and you two cringing together at your ex's behavior.
Cut the guy some slack. His gf stayed out all night, wasn’t where she said she’d be, lied about where she was and gave at least two version of events. It may take him a bit to come to the conclusion it was rape because of those factors.
I talk to mine too, usually in a group chat. Only individually if it’s something specific, but certainly not about sexy clothing/lingerie. It’s weird and awkward.
That’s what I told him. I asked him what he wants for his future, and if this is what he wants to do the rest of his life, take care of a grown adult that should be able to take care of herself. I feel so bad that he really thinks he’s a monster when he’s not, and he’s burnt out being a caregiver to his spouse when he shouldn’t have to be.
Yeah, I guess that's true, but he wasn't ready for them to know. I just feel so bad
Well, at 37, he should have already. Was it that bad?
You’re not toxic but she’s trying to gaslight you. Break up with her and find someone who won’t cheat on you
The part I dont know if I should continue acting like I'm happily married to the outside world or if I need to move on or how to handle any of this…