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Date: October 5, 2022
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The crux of the situation is that legally you have no recourse, which I believe you’re already aware of.
So it falls to convincing an ex and co parent to your Child that their actions will be detrimental to a young child’s frame of mind.
I think you need to have that conversation before Christmas with your ex and his new girlfriend. Maybe she is in the same thought process as you?
If you can articulate a plan of slowly introducing her into your sons life and not all at once maybe after Christmas?
You’re in a tough spot though OP, basically at the mercy of your ex who doesn’t see the harm of bringing partners with unknown expectations into the mix. Shit can confuse the heck out of a kid especially if he gets attached and then one day she is just gone.
He knows what i like lol. I have lots of hobbies. The effort was not made, but i understand what you’re saying.
I'm in agreement with what's been said so far..the need for some good heart to heart communication. That isn't taught at all in school or college…how to have good relational communication. Couple of things: 1) Definitely, go to counseling. Don't ask… say, would you go to counseling with me, I feel the need to do it….cause things just don't feel right and I want to be on track in our marriage. 2) Marriage is a commitment and here is something to work through. When we come into a marriage, we come in with our own Hopes, Dreams and Desires (HDD). We sort of expect our new spouses to help us work towards our HDDs…but our HDDs become a burden to our spouses. Then our spouses bring in their own HDDs and their HDDs become a burden to us. We become each others burden. Remember your marriage vows… Okay, so what do we do? Go on a Vision Retreat, and use the Vision Retreat work pamphlet and answer the questions….and come up with your own agreed upon your marriage HDDs and work towards the common vision, in alignment. It'll surprise you how much you both actually are in alignment, but you're just approaching it differently. Just understanding each other more through this exercise, builds greater marriage intimacy. You cannot change each other, and only we can change ourselves. 3) Find common interests…and in the process of Vision Retreat, which should be 3-4 days away from your home, locked up in a hotel room, working together. We did it…and worked 4+ hours/day, for 4 days…had a nice dinner each night…and it was amazing. It was scary at first for me…wondering what she'd say or have in mind…but it surprised me how much she wanted to work on it as much as I did. Give it a try…do a Vision Retreat….and see a MFT, Marriage Family Therapist.
You have a 10 month old who isn’t sleeping more than 2 hours at a time? Time for you to attend the next pediatrician appointment (he should have one in the next 2 months anyway) and straight up bring this up with the pediatrician in front of your wife. If she won’t listen to you, perhaps she’ll listen to a professional.
Comment was good until the bed part. Can’t kick someone out of there own home. (But I get the sentiment)
You said she brought up “a past mistake of yours” before you mentioned the blinds. What was that mistake and did y'all discuss it/resolve it?
She's still away for the next few days, and it's not a conversation I wanted to have over text, so we haven't talked about it yet. I was hoping to gather some perspective before she got home, and we had a real talk about it
actually im pretty sure she knows my reddit account… so hey if ur reading this, u doing gud? ur ideas are welcome too :b
Not sure I follow,but my advice is the same. Can you know for sure, how is he at work? Get phone billings from operator if possible. You don't need to know anything more than whether there has been more than a single contact between him and her.
The man is actively engaging in his disturbed perversions, he needs a lot more than therapy.