If he can be influenced to end a relationship by his mother, then hes not someone you can count on, and that would likely get worse through the years.
If, as a grown up, she cant understand your condition, if she cant even just 'stay out of it' but has to meddle and get in the middle of a relationship then that doesn't bode well for the sons upbringing. Youd be better off with another family who can accept you and support you rather than trying to mold you to their idea of how you should be.
Cut your losses my dear, these people don't deserve you.
You got married when you were 18 and she was 26? That’s red flag number 1. She didn’t respect the boundaries you both set for the separation. Red flag number 2. She isn’t the most responsible person. At 34 that’s red flag number 3.
Yeah this is a very classic Venus/Mars question to the point where they joke about it in romcoms.
Imo the most important question is, is he pulling his weight in the marriage? Some combination of work and household chores?
If he should be doing a little more, maybe you guys should talk. It’s not your job to be the manager of all the household tasks, have him only do them when you ask him, etc.
But if he’s doing enough, then, yeah, I think he’s right that he’s not going to be able to anticipate what you’re needing. You asking could also be a chance for him to show you he cares about you. Maybe you should tell him in advance you’d love something frivolous and sweet when you’re feeling burnt out, like a little date night or chocolate or flowers or something.
Thanks for the update OP! We are cheering for you and invested in your success here. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Virtual hugs right back from my wife and a thumbs up from me. You can do this.
You get child support from him . Hopefully he will want to see his son..if not do like a lot of moms do fight for child support and college plan.
When sons old enough and asks….cross that bridge at that time
You might meet someone fall in love get married and he adopts son..or his dad might want to see him..
Two things:
If he can be influenced to end a relationship by his mother, then hes not someone you can count on, and that would likely get worse through the years.
If, as a grown up, she cant understand your condition, if she cant even just 'stay out of it' but has to meddle and get in the middle of a relationship then that doesn't bode well for the sons upbringing. Youd be better off with another family who can accept you and support you rather than trying to mold you to their idea of how you should be.
Cut your losses my dear, these people don't deserve you.
Find a temporary home for your puppy while you're out. Then, when you're back home, get your puppy back… And get rid of your wife.
Nope, I'm not kidding.
“Immediately”? He says in his post that they hadn’t talked for months when he found out that she was in a new relationship.
Because it is the mother's actions that have led to this situation.
Kids aren't born spoiled.
This is troubling. Do not rush into having kids. Wait and see if you’re compatible. Watch for any more red flags, because that is one.
You got married when you were 18 and she was 26? That’s red flag number 1. She didn’t respect the boundaries you both set for the separation. Red flag number 2. She isn’t the most responsible person. At 34 that’s red flag number 3.
Some people are just mean, this is hard to accept.
Let me get this straight:
BF1 dumped you because you weren't good enough. BF2 improved you. You want to dump the guy who improved you to be with the one who dumped you.
Do you realize how trashy this is?
Yeah this is a very classic Venus/Mars question to the point where they joke about it in romcoms.
Imo the most important question is, is he pulling his weight in the marriage? Some combination of work and household chores?
If he should be doing a little more, maybe you guys should talk. It’s not your job to be the manager of all the household tasks, have him only do them when you ask him, etc.
But if he’s doing enough, then, yeah, I think he’s right that he’s not going to be able to anticipate what you’re needing. You asking could also be a chance for him to show you he cares about you. Maybe you should tell him in advance you’d love something frivolous and sweet when you’re feeling burnt out, like a little date night or chocolate or flowers or something.
Thanks for the update OP! We are cheering for you and invested in your success here. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Virtual hugs right back from my wife and a thumbs up from me. You can do this.
You made a poor choice