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Dance naked [59 tokens remaining]
Date: October 8, 2022
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Firstly the pain does not lessen. That to me is a lie. Pain is static. People change and grow stronger to overcome it. What you've been through is impossibly hard, and is something no parent should ever have to experience. Growing numb is a coping mechanism and if my past has taught me anything, it's a poor one. Don't block it out allow yourself to feel it. Breakdown. You don't have to be strong or fight the pain. Be there for your wife, let her see the pain you've been bottling up. That is something that can and will drive a wedge is feeling that you mourn more than you partner.
Get and/or stay clean. Alcohol and drugs only amplify the problem and the pain.
This is the hardest part. Move forward. There will always be that hole in your lives and nothing you can do or say will fill it or replace your children nor should it. But you and your wife owe it to them to try and live your lives. Rediscover things that used to bring you joy. They will feel like an empty gesture for a while. Keep doing them. Work to be healthy both physically and mentally. Take care of yourself. As I said, the pain never lessens, you can only become stronger work toward this goal everyday with you and you wife. And eventually you can move past this horribly painful chapter in your life.
Is that even a legal thing in France? That's the salient law. I doubt it!
I think you have the right approach now. If you can give up parental rights and she wants you to down the line so a future husband of yours can adopt your French kid, that's a decision to make. No need to do so now
So you didn’t care about the pain your wife would feel when you slept with other people? But now because you’re feeling it you don’t know how to deal with it?
Does he have an iPhone? Do you? You should set up find my iPhone for him and you both so you can see each others locations at all times. Say you watched a scary documentary about abduction or something and that would give you peace of mind. My partner and I use it, although not because I’m suspicious of him. At the very least you could know what bars he’s going to or the exact location of the house he’s visiting to know where to send someone to stake him out, or just even to give you peace of mind.
Evidence for a divorce in your favor. Sorry you had to deal with this.
If she's defended you against this for years, why is she being so delusional now?
Honestly I couldn’t really say without observing it myself, but at the very least she does sound obsessed with you. It could be infatuation, she could also just literally want to be you.
First take the cameras down.
Then have a discussion with your wife.
Remind her that you both decided that streaming cameras were creepy, and could be hacked.
Let her know how disrespected you feel, that she would do this without telling you beforehand, and that she has damaged the trust in the relationship, because it comes across as she doesn’t trust you with your child
You lawyer up for divorce. Guy is nuts. You run and never look back.
Call her and tell her everything but expect nothing. It will be all off your chest and can’t hurt to do so. Good luck.
Thank you. So to give a bit more info on the conversations we had about it, is boils down to, that in normal romantic relationships, usually people have sex. We don't have sex so there might be something wrong with us.