BPD isn’t something you ‘grow out of’. It’s a serious illness that requires lifelong treatment, care, and commitment from the person who suffers with it to take that treatment seriously, especially since it can have devastating impacts on their loved ones. So if you’re not currently seeing a therapist and ideally a psychiatrist too, you need to do that immediately. You should commit to no more drinking.
A professional can help you get to the root of this behavior and stop. If you don’t get that help it will eventually sabotage your relationship, guaranteed.
I've talked to him about it before and I told him my concerns and feelings but apparently I'm just complaining and making him feel like he can't do anything right when I tell him my feelings.. .I never see change, thank you for replying!
That's deep. I don't know another word for it, I know that's normally you sarcastically, but I guess I mean to say that it's very insightful.
I guess the flip side would be that if she did not get it because I objected, it wouldn't make their friendship any less meaningful either. She's someone that loves her friends deeply, whether they dated his kids or not. And that's one thing that I love about her.
Sorry man, she was with you since you were 19, been together 6 years, and is only doing this because her friend clearly has her ear. She has trust issues according to your other comment, so her friend is is def taking advantage of her and her own situation.
Just talk to her and be honest and tell her how it hurt you so much. Also planning a proposal doesn't have to be secretive, let her know you plan on marrying her, but that you wanna know if she just said what she because of stress, or if she truly meant it. Yeah it seems she didn't mean it, but she could've gone about the whole thing differently. You both are stressed, maybe take some time to get your ducks in a row and step back. If you plan on marrying her, just remember, communication is important! Y'all will have y'all's bad days and it won't be easy, it will be work, but it'll be worth it. Not only tell her how you're feeling, but ask her how she's feeling. Marriage is about being a team and working together. Talk to one another.
Google the comic “You Should Have Asked”, by a French comic called Emma. It describes exactly what you're both facing, in perfect detail – and addresses the fallacy that men are “hard-wired” a different way.
The reality is that without some kind of break-through moment – some kind of him stepping up to take equal control of household organisation – this isn't going to change. If he's continually reliant on you delegating tasks, then you are just going to have groundhog day.
My advice is: stand your ground. Don't put up with being allocated the job as Boss of the House. Don't put up with bullshit excuses.
My wife and I share a Reddit
This covers what I was going to say, so I'm just seconding it for op.
BPD isn’t something you ‘grow out of’. It’s a serious illness that requires lifelong treatment, care, and commitment from the person who suffers with it to take that treatment seriously, especially since it can have devastating impacts on their loved ones. So if you’re not currently seeing a therapist and ideally a psychiatrist too, you need to do that immediately. You should commit to no more drinking.
A professional can help you get to the root of this behavior and stop. If you don’t get that help it will eventually sabotage your relationship, guaranteed.
A cunt that likes cunt basically.
I've talked to him about it before and I told him my concerns and feelings but apparently I'm just complaining and making him feel like he can't do anything right when I tell him my feelings.. .I never see change, thank you for replying!
Insist on accepting the gift (I have no idea how you'll do this)
Have her gift engraved with your name and the strap adjusted to her size. Have your purchase engraved with her name in it or something clever.
That's deep. I don't know another word for it, I know that's normally you sarcastically, but I guess I mean to say that it's very insightful.
I guess the flip side would be that if she did not get it because I objected, it wouldn't make their friendship any less meaningful either. She's someone that loves her friends deeply, whether they dated his kids or not. And that's one thing that I love about her.
Sorry man, she was with you since you were 19, been together 6 years, and is only doing this because her friend clearly has her ear. She has trust issues according to your other comment, so her friend is is def taking advantage of her and her own situation.
Just talk to her and be honest and tell her how it hurt you so much. Also planning a proposal doesn't have to be secretive, let her know you plan on marrying her, but that you wanna know if she just said what she because of stress, or if she truly meant it. Yeah it seems she didn't mean it, but she could've gone about the whole thing differently. You both are stressed, maybe take some time to get your ducks in a row and step back. If you plan on marrying her, just remember, communication is important! Y'all will have y'all's bad days and it won't be easy, it will be work, but it'll be worth it. Not only tell her how you're feeling, but ask her how she's feeling. Marriage is about being a team and working together. Talk to one another.
It's time to roll out the Ole Favourite…
Google the comic “You Should Have Asked”, by a French comic called Emma. It describes exactly what you're both facing, in perfect detail – and addresses the fallacy that men are “hard-wired” a different way.
The reality is that without some kind of break-through moment – some kind of him stepping up to take equal control of household organisation – this isn't going to change. If he's continually reliant on you delegating tasks, then you are just going to have groundhog day.
My advice is: stand your ground. Don't put up with being allocated the job as Boss of the House. Don't put up with bullshit excuses.
It’s okay I missed it the first time around too, then caught it as I was typing.