If you have had the conversation of, “I am not comfortable with your friendship with so-and-so. So-and-so has hurt me in the past, and has feelings for you. You have told me of feelings for her. I feel like it isn't right for you to be emotionally confiding in someone things about our relationship that most likely doesn't want us to be together. I think it would be best for our relationship if you discontinued flirting with the line of emotionally cheating.”
And he disagrees and is continuing the friendship…. In this case I'd probably reconsider the relationship.
I will add he has been discharged from the navy and has been diagnosed with PTSD and childhood trauma. He’s never been able to trust in his life. And he feels as if I betrayed his trust by leaving him even if I was doing was best for me.
It is abusive, no question. The question is: why are you with someone that looks down on you, doesn't see you as an equal partner? He doesn't love you 'cause how could he love someone beneath his station. If he actually loved you, do you think he would treat you as he does? Part of the reason that he treats you with contempt is that you take it. You haven't held him accountable. You haven't left. You have taught him that you are okay with this.
There really is no counseling this away. He is a huge AH and is treating you extremely poorly. You only fix is to leave him permanently. Find someone that respects you, listens to you, validates you and loves you just as you are. You should good about who and what you are, in a loving relationship. You deserve no less.
No. I work really hard to treat everyone respectfully and all my previous girlfriends tell me how kind I am. I’m not trying to be an asshole but it really feels like I have to make a compromise
The only thing I feel qualified to give advice on is the children inheriting conditions. After I married my husband and we had kids, his sister was diagnosed with a few conditions. My oldest has one of those, and my middle child has 12 different conditions, all stemming from that side of the genetics that can cause havoc on any given day. I wouldn't give up my children for anything, but I do wonder how much I would have thought about just adopting instead of risking lifelong physical problems like that. Middle child is generally a happy person, though I know pain and fatigue sometimes get to them. It sucks to know there's nothing you can really do to help your child.
I would recommend calling his doctor and telling them he's addicted and even resorting to stealing your Rx. Tell them he needs to be weaned off the drug ASAP. Tell them he's buying it off coworkers and everything. They might cut back his Rx enough to wean him… But he also might just go full on street mode to find it. If he does this, it's ultimatum time: “It's me or the Adderall.”
Oh well that’s a whole different thing then. So you are living in grandma’s house, who is grandma siding with? You could try involving grandma and maybe staying rules for everyone in the household.
The best you can do when she starts her rants is ignore her, move yourself to another room or put your headphones on. If you engage with her it gives her more fuel. She will probably take to being ignored worse than arguing with her.
It was downtown Toronto. Zanzibar. I looked at the reviews and a lot of people commented about the price. I thought it was suspicious too.
If you have had the conversation of, “I am not comfortable with your friendship with so-and-so. So-and-so has hurt me in the past, and has feelings for you. You have told me of feelings for her. I feel like it isn't right for you to be emotionally confiding in someone things about our relationship that most likely doesn't want us to be together. I think it would be best for our relationship if you discontinued flirting with the line of emotionally cheating.”
And he disagrees and is continuing the friendship…. In this case I'd probably reconsider the relationship.
I will add he has been discharged from the navy and has been diagnosed with PTSD and childhood trauma. He’s never been able to trust in his life. And he feels as if I betrayed his trust by leaving him even if I was doing was best for me.
Agree with everything you've said here but:
Honestly, moving forward there’s nothing you can really do or say to address what was said.
She could at least apologize for hurting his feelings even if unintentional.
Revenge porn is illegal
It is abusive, no question. The question is: why are you with someone that looks down on you, doesn't see you as an equal partner? He doesn't love you 'cause how could he love someone beneath his station. If he actually loved you, do you think he would treat you as he does? Part of the reason that he treats you with contempt is that you take it. You haven't held him accountable. You haven't left. You have taught him that you are okay with this.
There really is no counseling this away. He is a huge AH and is treating you extremely poorly. You only fix is to leave him permanently. Find someone that respects you, listens to you, validates you and loves you just as you are. You should good about who and what you are, in a loving relationship. You deserve no less.
No. I work really hard to treat everyone respectfully and all my previous girlfriends tell me how kind I am. I’m not trying to be an asshole but it really feels like I have to make a compromise
Ask him what his end game is. What is his long term plan? Steroids are expensive. How will he support this?
The only thing I feel qualified to give advice on is the children inheriting conditions. After I married my husband and we had kids, his sister was diagnosed with a few conditions. My oldest has one of those, and my middle child has 12 different conditions, all stemming from that side of the genetics that can cause havoc on any given day. I wouldn't give up my children for anything, but I do wonder how much I would have thought about just adopting instead of risking lifelong physical problems like that. Middle child is generally a happy person, though I know pain and fatigue sometimes get to them. It sucks to know there's nothing you can really do to help your child.
I would recommend calling his doctor and telling them he's addicted and even resorting to stealing your Rx. Tell them he needs to be weaned off the drug ASAP. Tell them he's buying it off coworkers and everything. They might cut back his Rx enough to wean him… But he also might just go full on street mode to find it. If he does this, it's ultimatum time: “It's me or the Adderall.”
No, it is not.
He knew EXACTLY, what he was doing.
He used you. And his dating ap notifications showed that he doesn't give a dam about you. Or how you feel.
Be off. Block him. Really do.
Cute.
Oh well that’s a whole different thing then. So you are living in grandma’s house, who is grandma siding with? You could try involving grandma and maybe staying rules for everyone in the household.
The best you can do when she starts her rants is ignore her, move yourself to another room or put your headphones on. If you engage with her it gives her more fuel. She will probably take to being ignored worse than arguing with her.