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Date: October 11, 2022
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He already told you it wasn’t his thing, receiving or giving.
Maybe because it’s still a new relationship that you haven’t actually listened to him and have prioritise yourself over his feelings.
Accept that he isn’t a gift giver and don’t give gifts in return to him. Why is your love language a priority when it’s just easier to not get gifts for each other? You’re the one who has resentment and part of the reason why is because you didn’t listen.
If gift giving is a deal breaker, than you two are not compatible. Accept that and break up with him. Or accept that you two will never give gifts to each other.
From his point of view he sees your younger sister who moved out with bad credit and no savings. On top of this she is maxing her credit cards and is asking for a large sun of money. No one in there right mind would borrow money with this information. Realistically if she can’t afford to live now how is she going to pay you back? Either you tell him the truth or you get a job.
Yes you should seek help. There is no excuse for being verbally abusive, and your ex was not obliged to put up with it. Good for her for leaving.
You're going to be a father, grow up and be a better person. Stop making bullshit excuses for your behaviour.
I think active listening and remembering something your partner mentions is thoughtful.
Not everything has to be some organically crafted idea. I buy gifts for my husband based on things he says he wants/likes/needs or if I know based on what I know about him that he would really like it.
Anytime anyone has purchased a gift for me that was “organic” or something they came up with on their own— it’s never been something I would’ve chosen for myself, though I’m still gracious. I’d like to be able to use or enjoy what I’m getting to show I’m grateful, so why not just give something they’ve told you they would enjoy?
this boyfriend is abusive emotionally. you should let him go for your highest good.. it hurts but it is what is best.
… yeah… Sure… It's totally for that… How convenient….
Basically, you seem to just want a roommate. You have a lot going on, and your girlfriend is obviously the least important thing to you at the moment. You two need to break up. You do not have time for a relationship, which is fine. However, you can't keep stringing her along, and you especially better not have her move to be with you.
THAT and all of it.
OP sounds like being all about himself.
She seems to feel pushed back/ not prioritized.
You don’t have a friend problem you have a fiancé problem. This is what your future is going to look like. Time to tell fiancé to grow a spine. I wouldn’t marry him. He cares more about his friends feelings than he does yours.
my dude girlfriend aside i think you probably realize that at the end of the day you should be using some money to go on vacation… like retiring at 40 is cool and all but enjoy now. You may not have until you’re 40. Working for one extra year to have the opportunity to travel in your 30 should be a priority. Use every day you can have of PTO for doing stuff you have 24 million dollars, you can retire now if you’d like.
Yeah, I read it.
Just because you call it a “self help ritual” doesn't mean it's not just a nice vacation away from your BF. You're just “self-help washing” the situation because you think it makes people react more favorably to it. And you're obviously right that, that works.
I think just break up.
Save the poor guy from being cast as a “controlling, red-flag partner” just because he wants to enjoy the weekend getaways with his partner.
And, I fail to understand your “he's not into it” vacation argument… clearly, he wants to be there, that's what the central issue of this post is about.
I think what you're doing is highly unusual, it's weird to exclude a partner from trips like this. Also spending 12 weekends out of the year on a self-pampering trip without your partner is honestly pretty bonkers to begin with. People keep bringing up things like fishing and hunting and stuff but, that's not what's going on with your boyfriend… so it's not at all relevant.