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welcome to my room !!
Date: October 11, 2022
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welcome to my room !!
Imagine being so sheltered that you think having one past sexual partner classes as “wild”. Bless your heart.
He said the same to me, said he likes my new body and how it gave him two beautiful children. I just need to learn to love it myself. He did tell me he felt like he got hustled, he said the first girl went out and grabbed another chick and he didn’t realize he was spending double since it wasn’t his idea to have a second brought in. He was also extremely wasted. This was a boys weekend away.
That's what I gathered too… OP comes off as ridiculously immature too so it wouldn't surprise me.
This post is a classic example of a naive and impulsive person moving in with someone they hardly know, and are surprised the person is a weirdo.
Ross Gellar has entered the chat
From all your comments OP, you should have divorced this AH years ago. Don’t hesitate any longer.
Who would ever suggest “go to the gym” over a realtionship that never happened? What kind of a young, immature mindset is it that working out = get the girl? 😛 And where is this “sigma male” prediction coming from?
Point is, you were not together. Ever. At any point. You are/were the guy who just assumed that since you were close, you were guaranteed her love and a forever-after “eventually,” but she specifically said she doesnt want to date. You heard “anyone but you,” but she was saying “don't want to date you.”
I get the frustration. No jokes or tit-for-tat, trying to one-up each other with clever comments when I say that I feel for ya and the sense of pain/betrayal you might be feeling here. But you're too busy seeing red and reacting too dramatically to see the friendship for what it was. You were committed to it's potential, not what it actually was. And now that you finally see your ideal future not coming true, this path of vengeance is just too much. You're coming across as very narcissistic and way, way too full of yourself. Like, how DARE she not follow your plan. That she's a terrible person for dating someone that's completely the opposite of you as far as hobbies and such go.
Take the L and move on, you've got a lot going for yourself. Taking off the rose-coloured glasses is a good thing, that way you don't see the friendship/potential relationship as having been better than it really was. Helps move on. But don't throw on the red shades and take the angry route. Nobody benefits from that.
I think if you’re insecure about porn is not really about porn but how your partner is around you. Does they validate you enough, make you feel pretty and sexy and so on. But yeah we can have different views
Except that your wife sees it as condoning it and will make her question your own fidelity. Do you really want your wife questioning your fidelity if you’re so casual about your friend cheating?
Reassuring you means nothing if it never comes.
I’ve been in dynamics where I got my ass beat. I don’t need your input on what qualifies as abuse.
You need to step back and see exactly what you are getting out of this relationship. IMO not much while she gets money, school and all her bills paid. PLUS you give her family money. It sounds like she is using you. I fear that when school is over she will go back to her family and leave you high and dry. She brushes of your concerns and acts like a toddler to get you to stop talking about it. That’s a classic move by someone who is using you. Stop giving her money. Where do her parents think she is getting the money? They might know about you but not in a good way for you.
Sex is a very small percentage of a relationship, but it's such a very important part and has a tremendous influence over the rest of it, kind of like how your heart is such a small part of your body.
Sexual incompatibility is tall hurdle to jump over. Maybe the rest of your relationship is so astonishingly perfect you guys can get past it. Or maybe it's a tiny seed now that will fester over time, leaving you increasingly dissatisfied with the overall relationship, to the point to where even the best parts of it aren't good enough anymore.
Neither one of you are in the wrong. You're allowed to like what you like, same as she is. But it's still going to lead to tension, especially if she's not on board with you seeking other outlets.
I am a little concerned about her saying “from now on we're only doing it when I'M horny”. Consent is a thing, but so is making reasonable compromises to satisfy your partner.
I get it, you're already 5 years in, and you don't want to lose your investment, but you could be sentencing yourself to a lifetime of dissatisfaction while she gets EXACTLY what she wants.
You guys need some triage, and you need to do it before your relationship becomes even more permanent. Get yourself some couples therapy, get it out in the open. State your position. Let her state hers. Then see if there's some middle ground you can land on. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. She might not be willing to compromise after saying what she said about doing it only on her terms.
Sex drives do change over time, so her desires could fluctuate. Yours, too. But really only in frequency. I don't know if you want to get the rest of your life on the possibility.
The environment and religion you grew up in does not give them the right to hit you, using religion to justify there abuse to you is not right. Your husband defended you, your family is not in the right. I’m sure your father won’t forget that lesson, how would you feel if you decide to have children and your father raises a hand to hurt them. Do not let religion hide and normalize abuse.
We’ve talked about it and he says he’s just stressed, but it’s been a month or two and I’m a little worried.
That could be a good reason. Stressed about what exactly?