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Date: November 5, 2022
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It would be wrong, especially if the divorce was messy. But ask yourself if you actually miss her or the idea of her. If you miss her it would happen more than when you are with other women. Missing the idea of her is comparing her to the other women and them not being like her.
Reading your replies you are just here for justification and not advice. You're a grown, 30-year old man. #Use you brain instead of your dick.
Take this advice from someone who is older and has been there: It’s time to take a giant step back and think about all this for more than a few minutes. You need to consider if this is someone that you would want your future kids looking up to, and learning from. He sounds incredibly selfish.
There’s a difference in him wanting to buy the two of you a house and be a provider, and him buying a house that he likes for himself and you maybe one day getting to live in it if he feels like it (which is what this sounds like).
You both need to have a serious adult conversation about this, because you need to protect yourself, and know what you’re getting yourself in to. Finances are one of the top things that leads to separation, better to talk about it now, before you make any life decisions. Sort out who will pay what, and insist you pay something. The last thing you need is to get married and have kids, and him use the money/“I pay for everything around here” as something to dangle over your head as emotional/financial abuse. I know it scary, but if you think you could lose him over something as simple as having an adult conversation about an adult topic, it would be worth it to save yourself potential future trouble/abuse. One of the biggest abuses is financial abuse.
On that note, always have a backup plan. I don’t care if you think he is the best thing since sliced bread. Save your money for a rainy day, and NEVER assume that ANY man (or any person for that matter) has YOUR best intentions in mind. Never become fully dependent on someone because it makes it so much harder if you need out.
Do it. It’s incredibly eyes opening to some couples. And he needs a wake up call.
Your daughter will have the guestroom when you move in, because she will then live there. Till then she is a guest, just like his stepson. Unfortunately (for your daughter) his stepson takes precedence over your daughter, which is understandable because he has been in their lives longer than you and your daughter.
Everyone can say hurtful things in a moment of anger. And many of these things can be forgiven. When you hear these things over and over, eventually you get tired and leave. Sounds like she reached her bottom line.
Get help and leave her alone. Your anger cost you a relationship and possibly the blessing of fatherhood.
Well both of them together have claimed my son isn’t my husbands and his brother even lied and confessed to having an affair with me. This is all a lie. They convinced him to do a test and it was negative. But that was through them I think so they could have meddled with it.
I’ve read she say she didn’t cheat in this instance. If she’s not being truthful or if she’s hiding anything that’s on her not me. But I rather assume she’s asking for legitimate advice than passing unwanted judgment.
You have to know that she's only doing this to get you back and she really doesn't want to have sex. Don't be a cad and just get back with her so you can get laid. If you care for her, get back together and don't have sex. If you only care about her if she'll have sex with you, be a honorable man and don't get back with her.
Before I reply to your comments (thank you everyone!!) I should mention that of course I will take him out!! We'll celebrate his birthday properly, we already have plans for the weekend before
Honestly, the next time he brings it up you need to tell him to either get over it and move on or move on from you. He has no right to be upset that you had sex with someone 2 years before you even met him – distant friend, or not. If the friend reminds him of something that he shouldn't even be upset about, then he needs to manage it. He needs to distance himself from that friend until it doesn't bother him anymore.
The time for you to be empathetic is over. A few weeks, or a month or so – maybe. 6 months later? Hell no.
And when you are telling him this, remind him that this was you being honest with him. He asked and you didn't hide anything from him. And that's not the way to treat someone who is open and honest.
Seriously, you need to stand up for yourself here. You are not a doormat for your boyfriend's insecurities, and he needs to stop taking it out on you. And if he can't, you need to seriously consider ending it because this is not a good future.
Who has a best friend that young? Unless it's a sibling or something of the like. You're too old to be dealing with someone like that
This is very good advice. Now that you know what doesn't work, you're closer to finding out what does. Plus, this therapist will have way better connections than a random Google search with better insight into how their recommendations approach topics
Thanks for the reply. I'll definitely think on lots of the things you wrote here.
Yeah I guess what you are saying about 'playing the role' makes sense. I do appreciate that she is willing to do so, but for me sex is more about making the other person enjoy it rather than myself, so her pretending… I dunno.
In regards to the her not being an adult, maybe I leaned too much into that in the post. She has gotten a lot better over time and is basically an equal or at least getting close to one on that front.
I got the impression that the events of Monday were continuing to some degree
Who asked you tho?