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That’s true, I just don’t really want to come off like their prior explanation when we rekindled wasn’t good enough, I just wish we went more in-depth back then.
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Reminds me of that movie “Guess Who!”
Was comical but also had some lessons in there. Give it a bash.
I recommend though talking things through with herself and also avoiding the parents house from now on until your girlfriend can get them to respect her boundaries (unlikely). She should be defending you but by the looks of it, is still “their little girl” and probably won’t do much so the safer option is just not to go to theirs or do and develop thick skin. Atleast the mom likes you, believe me, a mom liking you is far better than a dad. First relationship ended due to a mom not approving her little angel dating outside of the religion (it came to light when I proposed to her). My marriage (not the same woman) also ended badly because of a mother. Never once was a relationship sabotaged by a father.
She’s for the streets. Don’t make kids with her. She loves you for the stability you provide. The money. The house. The plans. The goals. But she would love to be in the streets to party and sleep around. However, she knows she needs someone to support her. Try counseling. But honestly she’s cheated/is cheating on you. I don’t do cheaters. Divorce his lying butt!
Would it be enough out of character that it would be believed? If no, then you are chaining yourself to his sinking ship, because he's always been bad enough that this wasn't unimaginable.
I think I’ve done a poor job at explaining as I was trying not to ramble, so I just want to give a bit more depth here and hopefully answer your questions. – she was the one who invited him to live with us. she did so without asking if it was okay with me first and we had only been together a couple months. They were friends, this wasn’t a case of her living with him for my sake. – when we broke up, all of us sat down as a group to talk about what our plan would be and talked with the other housemates about how they felt about it etc. my best friend wanting him to leave was out of protectiveness of me, but I made it clear that I did not want anyone put out. – I stayed with my parents for only a few days, and then came back hence him staying on the couch in the spare room. I only left to go overseas after he had somewhere else lined up to live. This all happened over a span of only 2 weeks (I was away for 5 days). – I handed in 2 months of notice, because I didn’t want to put anyone out. Myself and my ex continued to pay rent for this period so that no one in the house would be affected financially by what was going on. – I don’t expect to still be in contact with my ex, that’s poor wording on my part, I was trying to express how it hurts doubly to have lost them both at the same time.
I appreciate your viewpoint honestly, this has been a tough one to navigate and I know there’s things I could’ve done better. As I’m sure you can imagine there are a lot more details that I haven’t gone into in this post.
This has to feel super shitty. I’m sorry.
A conversation face-to-face isn’t going to change anything. He’s definitively told you he doesn’t want to be with you, and you don’t want to beg him to change his feelings. Have all this stuff set aside so he can grab it and go, and focus on making yourself feel better. Make sure you have some self-care in order for right after.
As for your stuff, if there’s anything you really don’t want, set it aside for him to take back or donate/sell. Anything where the association is too strong right now but you might feel differently about in a few weeks belongs in a plastic tub somewhere. Eventually it will probably feel more like “your stuff” than “stuff from X.”
You said it's not a problem with other female friends he has. Him saying nothing ever happened between them in 10 years sounds to me like a subconscious way to say that because he's still pining for something between them. You deserve to have someone who doesn't just stop caring about you entirely when they are in someone else's presence.