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Date: October 7, 2022
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is your boyfriend Barney Stinson by any chance?
This is easily the stupidest comment on this post.
He can’t be soooo concerned about your safety that you can’t go and in the breathe utter a threat to leave. That’s not logical. Call his bluff, go, show him you’re safe, and set the standard this is normal. He can accept it and work on his insecurities or not. If not, you’re better off.
Step-daughter's mother passed away when she was younger. If the one posing as her step-daughter is not just a troll and is her she said if her dad loved his mom he wouldn't have married OP. Not sure if that's all legit but if it is she needs therapy.
Being introverted has nothing to do with whether he’d protect you or not? My sister—psycho, she comes in hot, she will come at you and she can hold her own. I’m more calm, very girly + sweet, I work in vet med, a lot of things/comments really don’t bother me. Looking at me I do not portray as a confrontational person, but I am if I need to be. I know when to confront and when to just not care. Not everything needs to be a battle.
You’re 30. Being confrontational all the time is not cute. That’s the high school mentality “Oh he’s so bad and edgy” when really he’s just a jerk. Truly mature adults know when to confront and when to let it slide—you pick and choose your battles. If there’s a way to deescalate something calmly—ESPECIALLY in this very violent era we are in—that is the best and safest option. You have no idea if your ex was nothing but talk. Or if he was only mean when it came to those he could take advantage of (aka you and anyone smaller) if anyone larger stepped to him, OR YOU what would he have done? I bet your current bf wouldn’t let anyone mistreat you and you know that.
I don’t think you want an extremely confrontational person. You want someone with a more dominant personality, which is fine, but be careful not to confuse them, as looking for that opens you up to assholes and abusers—-HENCE your ex being mean and probably controlling. Gentle is GREAT. Caring IS safe. You know your partner will have your back and support you through it all, THAT is what security feels like and should be.
If you want to end your relationship cuz you aren’t a good fit that’s perfectly fine. But to me it sounds like nothing but self sabotage. And please don’t tell him if you dump him, that shit turns guys into assholes thinking thats what women want when there is someone who will adore and devour him as he is.
And, to be honest, you'd likely find another guy at another gym that would be just as creepy because there are just some people that can't go out without trying to pick up women even when they get told to back off.
So, yeah, if you keep going to that gym, and the guy came up to me again, I'd be yelling in the loudest voice possible until the staff had no option BUT to come deal with the guy… and I'd be telling the guy that he can back off or you're calling the local police to file a harassment charge against him.
He lied because he didn’t want to hurt you. That means he knows that his actions hurt you.
Who intentionally hurts his wife?
He sounds like a honeymooner. He falls, chases, commits, enjoys it for the honey moon period, then he is over it. Pretty sure your marriage always had an expiry date, you just didnt know about it. As soon as you are divorced, he will probably have worn someone else down to marry him with love bombing and empty promises.