she's putting herself in scenarios where she's getting raped multiple times and still going back for more, rape traumatizes you it doesn't make you wanna go back and get black out drunk for round 2, also no police reports of multiple rapes?
This is very very rich, I obviously hope OP's girlfriend isn't making this up as it'd be sick but the story is almost unbelievable.
Yeah. Drunkenly making out in a club, realizes it’s wrong, rushes straight home and confesses, while having a history of unexpected reactions between medications and alcohol? Possibly worthy of forgiveness.
Having conversations for two months with sisters who say she needs to tell you? But she deletes those conversations, and listens to the best friend who says don’t tell? Not forgivable.
The second scenario is the kind that leads to your entire future relationship being built on a foundation of lies. Meaning, it will never be stable. Not to mention that she doesn’t even feel enough remorse about it to give you the chance to decide for yourself if you want to move forward in the relationship.
She’s a remorseless liar and cheater, and trust me… that is not the kind of person you build a long lasting relationship with.
It’s gonna be a complete disaster. Your blind optimism is hilarious though. One or both of you will eventually start dating, whether you want to believe it or not jealousy/betrayal feeling will emerge in one or both if you. She will undoubtedly be sleeping with 10 guys to your one girl. She only has to post she is open for business and they will be lined up around the block. You on the other hand may find one in the next 6 months. You are incredibly naive and clueless to think staying in the same house with you separated still wife will work out favorably. It’s gonna be mental torture for you.
Sounds like she is just using you for the money. This won’t change if you get married. Your partner needs to be someone to support you.
My now husband and I met when he was doing his PHD in my town. He was beyond poor and barely making it. Once we got serious he moved into my moms house with me. I paid our rent( my mom didn’t really change much. Like $200 a month) and never asked him to pay bc I knew it was hard for him. After we got married he had a great job and I didn’t. It’s all about support and balance.
Just a heads up, if you ask this dude to wear a “cock extender”, he’s never going to talk to you again and will develop a serious insecurity. Please have some tact and don’t mention wearing that lol.
Thank you for explaining, obviously it's fine to not be compatible with someone who's into partying, and completely normal to want someone with a similar lifestyle most of the time. But if it's occasionally from time to time I can't see the harm and I guess it's the late night bit I don't understand, I don't see what changes after midnight that it's no longer ok to be in a bar. In any case OP's boyfriend got together with her knowing she liked to go out. That's what I don't think is ok, suddenly asking her to change.
Can you recreate the group chat and just ask them why he would want to keep you away? Tell them everything that happened and ask. It's awkward for you and very embarrassing for him but it's more important that you get answers at this point. Your marriage is in serious jeopardy.
I can understand why you lied to her about talking to somebody about it. She probably would have flipped out in the same type of way if you were honest about telling somebody. It probably would have been for the best if you were just honest with her about it though because now she will just use the fact that you talked with somebody and lied about it against you, probably repeatedly.
Based on everything you've written, I don't think the relationship has much of a future. You've put forth a lot of effort trying to work on the relationship as far as communication and counseling goes, but having to live under a constant threat of the marriage being over is not a life people should have to live.
Honestly, if it were me, I would probably move on. You are still young and would be able to find someone who would actually treat you with respect. I'm not sure there's any path to getting her to understand why you lied about talking to somebody else about it. I don't think it's really fair she would expect you to keep it bottled up inside for the sake of a marriage that she seems to be looking for a way out of.
She’s not like that
This gotta be the most convoluted, vague post I've read in a long time. Can you, please, explain your situation more plainly?
She's angry at him about being upset over the miscarriage. That is fucked up.
she's putting herself in scenarios where she's getting raped multiple times and still going back for more, rape traumatizes you it doesn't make you wanna go back and get black out drunk for round 2, also no police reports of multiple rapes?
This is very very rich, I obviously hope OP's girlfriend isn't making this up as it'd be sick but the story is almost unbelievable.
Yeah. Drunkenly making out in a club, realizes it’s wrong, rushes straight home and confesses, while having a history of unexpected reactions between medications and alcohol? Possibly worthy of forgiveness.
Having conversations for two months with sisters who say she needs to tell you? But she deletes those conversations, and listens to the best friend who says don’t tell? Not forgivable.
The second scenario is the kind that leads to your entire future relationship being built on a foundation of lies. Meaning, it will never be stable. Not to mention that she doesn’t even feel enough remorse about it to give you the chance to decide for yourself if you want to move forward in the relationship.
She’s a remorseless liar and cheater, and trust me… that is not the kind of person you build a long lasting relationship with.
Ew, why are the cat food bowls in your bedroom? Fuckin yuck
It’s gonna be a complete disaster. Your blind optimism is hilarious though. One or both of you will eventually start dating, whether you want to believe it or not jealousy/betrayal feeling will emerge in one or both if you. She will undoubtedly be sleeping with 10 guys to your one girl. She only has to post she is open for business and they will be lined up around the block. You on the other hand may find one in the next 6 months. You are incredibly naive and clueless to think staying in the same house with you separated still wife will work out favorably. It’s gonna be mental torture for you.
Sounds like she is just using you for the money. This won’t change if you get married. Your partner needs to be someone to support you.
My now husband and I met when he was doing his PHD in my town. He was beyond poor and barely making it. Once we got serious he moved into my moms house with me. I paid our rent( my mom didn’t really change much. Like $200 a month) and never asked him to pay bc I knew it was hard for him. After we got married he had a great job and I didn’t. It’s all about support and balance.
The cops wouldn't keep his phone for that.
You were assaulted. Think about pressing charges
sWaP tHe GeNdErS.
My response would be the same if OP was a man who got violently attacked by his girlfriend for an incredibly minor thing.
It's a horrifically disproportionate response and gender is irrelevant.
I found out on Instagram that she was in contact with her ex after she “blocked” him months ago. I’m not sure if I want to go back to that
Just a heads up, if you ask this dude to wear a “cock extender”, he’s never going to talk to you again and will develop a serious insecurity. Please have some tact and don’t mention wearing that lol.
Thank you for explaining, obviously it's fine to not be compatible with someone who's into partying, and completely normal to want someone with a similar lifestyle most of the time. But if it's occasionally from time to time I can't see the harm and I guess it's the late night bit I don't understand, I don't see what changes after midnight that it's no longer ok to be in a bar. In any case OP's boyfriend got together with her knowing she liked to go out. That's what I don't think is ok, suddenly asking her to change.
Can you recreate the group chat and just ask them why he would want to keep you away? Tell them everything that happened and ask. It's awkward for you and very embarrassing for him but it's more important that you get answers at this point. Your marriage is in serious jeopardy.
How hot is your assistant? This will help us understand.
I can understand why you lied to her about talking to somebody about it. She probably would have flipped out in the same type of way if you were honest about telling somebody. It probably would have been for the best if you were just honest with her about it though because now she will just use the fact that you talked with somebody and lied about it against you, probably repeatedly.
Based on everything you've written, I don't think the relationship has much of a future. You've put forth a lot of effort trying to work on the relationship as far as communication and counseling goes, but having to live under a constant threat of the marriage being over is not a life people should have to live.
Honestly, if it were me, I would probably move on. You are still young and would be able to find someone who would actually treat you with respect. I'm not sure there's any path to getting her to understand why you lied about talking to somebody else about it. I don't think it's really fair she would expect you to keep it bottled up inside for the sake of a marriage that she seems to be looking for a way out of.