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Room for online sex video chat katexoxo
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Date: October 3, 2022
I think you can acknowledge context here. If my fiancé tells me he wants to fuck me all day long, that is 100% a turn on. If some rando does it, obviously it’s harassment. Not a good example imo.
He has every right to be angry. He said no. She probably pestered him multiple times a day about it to the point where it became a chore instead of a benefit to the relationship. I dont think women understand how much energy we have to expend to give women good sex. Thrusting is way more taxing than laying there in a position. You generally have to last at least 15 minutes to even get 20% of the way unless youre hitting it just right and thats not even factoring energy levels from people who go to work for 8-12 hours a day. Its a lot of work for a 38 males to do that multiple times a day
Testing a day or so later won’t show much. Most STIs don’t develop overnight. Let’s assume he tests negative. Is that all you need to believe this unbelievable story? This kind of nonsense excuse has been trotted out by many before your SO. Don’t fall for it. Either accept the fact that he’s not upfront and stay, or follow your gut. If you stick around, go for counselling.
What stands out to me is the volume of profiles he seems to be following. If he followed a few accounts and you felt insecure about it, I'd call it normal. But the fact he follows so many and continues to follow more is almost like a fixation. I think you're right to be concerned and uncomfortable. He's ignoring your boundaries and frankly being pretty weird at the same time. If he hasn't stopped by now, he's not going to stop any time soon. The only resolution would be to leave him
I think you should get the style of Diamond she likes but smaller. The style is super important to the person wearing it every day so getting the style she liked is more important than the one you like visually. It’s okay if it’s smaller but not great if it’s totally off style wise from what she has been wanting.
Why has this been fine for 10 years but now it’s a problem? What changed?
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Ask her if she wants to go get coffee with you one time. If she says yes, she's interested in you. If she declines, at least now you know.
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But how you deal with it depends on why he is doing it, obviously. If, as is incredibly likely, he is keeping you a secret because he's going to try to start an affair with you, that would change your approach versus if he is just keeping it secret for some vague reason but just wants to be friends, right?
A. She doesn’t so much as mention that he even has a job. B. OP is 39 living at home with the folks and is, oh wow, also broke. It’s just he expects her to PAY for their hookups and sulks if she refuses….. every single time. He’s not only broke, he’s a mooch.
This is extremely helpful, thank you!!
This dichotomy is easily explained if you consider something very important and somewhat unsettling about the brain/mind.
Your conscious mind primarily operates as an observer. It mostly observes the decisions of the sub-conscious mind and analyzes them and tries to make sense of them. This can lead to dissonance which creates emotional disturbance. The sub-conscious mind has its own thoughts and desires and is the mind that makes snap decisions, however is influenced by your emotional state.
The kind of scary part is that our conscious mind kinda fools itself into thinking its in control but its really not. It actually uses memories to create emotional disturbance as an indirect way to influence the decisions of the subconsious.
As an example, this is why you can gain weight, observe that you are gaining weight, feel badly about it, tell yourself that you are going to eat eggs for breakfast, then get upset and distressed at yourself while you go for the sugar cereal. Its the same principle behind your husband indulging in painal porn.
I say all this because I can relate to your husband on a rather fundamental level unfortunately. Not with painal porn necessarily but I know that my subconsious mind has a shockingly cruel and sadistic streak that upsets and bothers my conscious mind. If I dont have consciously object then I cant influence my subconscious decisions but if I am not paying attention then I will sometimes find myself teasing animals and relishing in the power imbalance (eg. setting treats just out of reach and watching them struggle, or putting them on the vaccuum sweeper to see what they do). I have to wonder if this dark part of myself is heritable because I have witnessed my father do things like this too and he has admitted to me the same, and you would never think of it with him since he is a loving and attentive father and husband.
I hope this helps reconcile the dichotomy you are witnessing.
Yes!!!!! Burnt once not twice
I just prefer to treat it separately because oftentimes cheaters hide behind doing it with someone else to try to shift some of the blame away.
Meanwhile I like to think about this as two separate things so that the line is clear. With the tango metaphor, two people do the same thing. But when you treat cheating and sleeping with a cheater as two separate bad actions, you don't have then have to wonder who's more at fault, everyone is 100% at fault for what they did, it was their autonomous decision.
It's like with the pharmacy situation: if you go to a pharmacy to get a drug to kill yourself, it's only wrong for the pharmacist if he sold it to you if they neglected to check if you had the prescription. So if the other person kills themselves, the pharmacist will have neglected his job, but they will not be half to blame for the suicide. Those are two different things. I'm not sure if I explain this pharmacy metaphor well cuz I'm not an English speaker but I'm basically trying to advocate for treating cheaters and those that they cheat with separately, more harshly and to realize they are fully to blame.
Maybe one more metaphor, just in case: if you drunk drive and hit somebody, the fact that you hit them can't be blamed on the fact that somebody was on the road if you were too drunk to see them. It doesn't matter if the other person was acting correctly, you were still driving drunk and you're responsible for drinking and driving. The other person may be responsible for whatever they were doing. Two separate actions. Two people taking accountability for what they did without shifting any blame onto the other person
It's just my opinion. Aside for people trying to shift the blame away, I agree the metaphor makes sense. I get it if others don't view this as I do
Ask her if she’s noticed a pattern? Ask her if she feels these friends care about her? Ask her if she’s worried her friends will dump her if she confronts them? Ask her if she feels helpless to establish boundaries with them? Ask her what they would need to do for her to stop chasing their friendship?
Ask her if she’s thinks it’s fair to your relationship that the toxicity these friends bring is bleeding into your life together? Tell her it’s painful for you to see her vulnerable and hurt by the same people time and time again.
Ask her what she needs from you and how you can support her to find some friends or activities that will bring her joy?
Tell her you love her and would like to see her thriving and that seeing her so negatively impacted by the same issue endlessly.
On your side I think it’s a tough place to be in, so some stock responses can be great. Are you surprised they did this? That must have hurt. What can you change next time to not feel like this again? Remind her, this is what they do, this is who they are. I value you and I find it painful to see people that you call friends treating you like this.
Then start to redirect her and say “glad you’ve got that out of your system” Let’s go for a walk, let’s play cards, watch a movie.
He doesn't prioritize you, care about your feelings, nor respect your boundaries because secretly he's really into her, has feeling beyond friendship for her, and is having (at the very least) an emotional affair.
Instead of shutting that s*it down hard, long ago like you should have, you gave him toothless boundaries with zero consequences for breaking them. So break them he did. So break them he'll continue to do. The longer you didn't put your foot down the more emotionally invested he became in her.
After he'd already broken your boundaries regarding her, he even managed to talk you into letting him connect with her in the flesh and risk his marriage in person. And he sure did, with you right there. What are you going to do about that, OP?
After this last gigantic red flag where he ran off to secretly meet up with her behind your back it's time for a come to jeezus moment for him. He cuts her off and goes no contact or you're done. And MEAN IT! He needs to find a new group to online game with.
I'm sorry, OP, but this isn't “just friends”. You should put on your stealth detective hat and dig deeper. You probably don't know the truth and true extent of their communication because it's likely done in secret on an app or program you're not aware of.
You don't brazenly and knowingly keep risking your marriage by breaking boundaries and lying to and deceiving your hurt, concerned wife, going so far as to even sneak off behind your wife's back for a few stolen moments with this other woman, if she's “just a friend”.
I wouldn't be surprised if your husband got jealous seeing her hanging on that other guy (or that she did it to provoke that reaction) and that's the reason he went for broke and sh*t all over you and your agreed upon, clear and concise boundary of not being alone with her.
This has gone waaaay too far. All the secretiveness. Him putting her over you. Him turning to her and away from you. His lying and gaslighting. His deceit and denials. Ask him if this situation were reversed and it was you who'd done all these things with another man, would he be ok with it? He's lying his *ss off if he says he would be! She needs to be gone from his life for good. He has a choice to make. His “friendship” with her or his marriage to you.
Right? I don’t think it’s necessary for them to be saying you should eat etc you should sleep etc. I don’t understand. It’s not professional at all. I really hope he understands the weight of the situation.
His behaviour is proof. Just adding to what the others are saying. A good therapist would recognize the issue with treating their own partner, a good therapist dont get angry that you dont think they're a good fit, a partner that gets angry that you didnt want him as your therapist just proved that he is unable to not cross several lines.
Gamer chick from waaaay back here. Your bf was right to stay out of it. Either you stand up for yourself, or ragequit. Don't rely on him to fight your fights for you.
You were looking for a connection, he was looking for a booty call. Sounds like he is in a relationship and would have to hurry back or something. Live and learn. Sorry this happened to you.
Regardless of how she was raised, I'm assuming you were raised with enough respect not to throw a 65 year old on an air mattress on the floor when there's a bed available. She can go visit her family on her own if she wants to disrespect yours.
Honestly, her stance is mind-boggling to me. Your dad isn't a 20something babysitter who'll be fine curled on the couch for a couple weeks. I don't like people in my bedroom either, but I recognize when their physical needs are greater than my discomfort.
Isn't the point of fwb to end in a break up? You're not meant to be fwb forever
Isn't the point of fwb to end in a break up? You're not meant to be fwb forever
I don't know how to tell you this… But if he's been dodging the IRS and his debts for years, he's probably also been antisocial in your relationship.
You should tell him to stop these, they only wind up giving you Peronies disease which is a shriveled up curved and scarred cock that don't work right anymore.
He just needs to accept his dick size like the rest of us.