Also, I really resent how easily people give up on their relationships on reddit which is exactly why I asked for advice that wasn't “your incompatible, just break up.”
Oh my lord you’re an idiot too! When we are talking about a shirt being the the main point because it is supposedly a sentimental object that has nothing to do with if the friend is sentimental as a person. Nothing to do with semantics just clear definitions.
Trust me I know how well I know the english language and It is clearly better then you two.
There is a difference between assumptions and logical conclusions. So firstly get that moronic thought of me talking about mailing the shirt back to the friend because I for sure didn’t mention that only you did.
I said that it is clear it was not very sentimental because of leaving it there with the addition of not asking about. The friend did not need to ask OP to “post” it to him he could have simply asked if OP had it and to bring it back when he moved back. Not taking the steps to confirm where something is after noticing its missing shows a lack of agency which shows whatever it is probably isn’t very important. All very logical conclusions being made here. While OP moved soon after moving to a different country is definitely a process that happens over night. The friend had plenty of time to ask OP.
You are making assumptions that OP left the shirt or disposed of it on purpose. OP mentioned his mindset and must’ve been pretty bad if he was getting rid of most things. Pretty logical to accidentally leave or get rid of a shirt that has no value to you especially when moving and when you are in a bad head space.
I don’t think it would be wrong to try to initiate anything but I would consider his previous relationship before deciding.
It sounds like he was flirting with you and was really into you while he was in a relationship. It doesn’t guarantee that it’ll happen again but the same thing could happen if you two get together.
It very well could be a one time thing but I’d think about it before pursuing anything. I might try to hang out in a more friendly setting (maybe with other people) before proceeding to get a better grasp on the situation since it sounds like his relationship ended kinda recently ish
Nope, not possible. A Canadian government job would not allow it, nor would the union she’s part of. They would be opening both up to a world of possible problems.
He's single and can do what he wants yes, but you are also allowed to have dignity. I don't know why you are being down voted for asking a valid question.
The whole block to avoid adult/vulnerable conversation thing is so immature and self centered.
Sounds like you'll be okay though and he's dojg. You a favor. Let him go party and be single, he'll be feeling pretty dumb once you have a real life with a real partner.
He catfished his own friends with your sisters image claiming its you. Stop “considering” and toss the boy. You look absolutely gorgeous in the picture. There is nothing wrong with the way you look and he is a creep and an ass for doing this to you. He was never serious about you. He already lied about what you look like to friends he never intended to introduce you to. There is no good future with a guy like him.
We pay 50/50. If we didn't I'd understand from the way you put it, but I'm fully financially independent now and have been for years. Maybe he does see me as in his care but I don't know why he would, and I definitely don't want him to.
dated someone like that, all affectionate and all to the point of clingy until something, no matter how small doesn't go her way, then like a switch, complete bitch mode. Only few ppl were actually aware of her temper. Never comes on when around others, but came on freq with me. What I'm saying is you're going to be her punching bag. What you feel now is the honeymoon phase, so you believe you're perfect for each other with the exception of this one flaw. But, let me tell you this temper shit gets old very quickly. So you have to ask yourself realistically, are you cool with dealing with that for the rest of your life? Because realistically it is very unlikely she will change, and YOU'RE certainly not the one who's going to do it.
there is a chance you are already having abuse trauma and a failed parasympathetic nervous system response, and are not seeing things clearly because of abuse trauma
when someone you love(d) abuses you, the trauma is not the bruise on the arm where you blocked the head punch, or the bruise on the knee where you blocked the full-force kicks. it's from your ways of coping, beginning to collapse inside because someone you have extended your heart to, is doing something crueler than you were prepared for, that in no way were you prepared for
I am generalizing but I hope you hear. You have to get out.
Ahh just the ol' “locker room, grab her by the pussy, talk” excuse… just girls bein girls…lol trash
Also, I really resent how easily people give up on their relationships on reddit which is exactly why I asked for advice that wasn't “your incompatible, just break up.”
Oh my lord you’re an idiot too! When we are talking about a shirt being the the main point because it is supposedly a sentimental object that has nothing to do with if the friend is sentimental as a person. Nothing to do with semantics just clear definitions.
Trust me I know how well I know the english language and It is clearly better then you two.
There is a difference between assumptions and logical conclusions. So firstly get that moronic thought of me talking about mailing the shirt back to the friend because I for sure didn’t mention that only you did.
I said that it is clear it was not very sentimental because of leaving it there with the addition of not asking about. The friend did not need to ask OP to “post” it to him he could have simply asked if OP had it and to bring it back when he moved back. Not taking the steps to confirm where something is after noticing its missing shows a lack of agency which shows whatever it is probably isn’t very important. All very logical conclusions being made here. While OP moved soon after moving to a different country is definitely a process that happens over night. The friend had plenty of time to ask OP.
You are making assumptions that OP left the shirt or disposed of it on purpose. OP mentioned his mindset and must’ve been pretty bad if he was getting rid of most things. Pretty logical to accidentally leave or get rid of a shirt that has no value to you especially when moving and when you are in a bad head space.
Get a grip.
What business do you have telling OP that he shouldn't have forgiven his father?
I don’t think it would be wrong to try to initiate anything but I would consider his previous relationship before deciding.
It sounds like he was flirting with you and was really into you while he was in a relationship. It doesn’t guarantee that it’ll happen again but the same thing could happen if you two get together.
It very well could be a one time thing but I’d think about it before pursuing anything. I might try to hang out in a more friendly setting (maybe with other people) before proceeding to get a better grasp on the situation since it sounds like his relationship ended kinda recently ish
Does the ex boyfriend have a criminal record that would have turned up on a background check?
Nope, not possible. A Canadian government job would not allow it, nor would the union she’s part of. They would be opening both up to a world of possible problems.
He needs to seek therapy regarding his ex, not use you as his therapist.
He's single and can do what he wants yes, but you are also allowed to have dignity. I don't know why you are being down voted for asking a valid question.
The whole block to avoid adult/vulnerable conversation thing is so immature and self centered.
Sounds like you'll be okay though and he's dojg. You a favor. Let him go party and be single, he'll be feeling pretty dumb once you have a real life with a real partner.
He catfished his own friends with your sisters image claiming its you. Stop “considering” and toss the boy. You look absolutely gorgeous in the picture. There is nothing wrong with the way you look and he is a creep and an ass for doing this to you. He was never serious about you. He already lied about what you look like to friends he never intended to introduce you to. There is no good future with a guy like him.
We pay 50/50. If we didn't I'd understand from the way you put it, but I'm fully financially independent now and have been for years. Maybe he does see me as in his care but I don't know why he would, and I definitely don't want him to.
dated someone like that, all affectionate and all to the point of clingy until something, no matter how small doesn't go her way, then like a switch, complete bitch mode. Only few ppl were actually aware of her temper. Never comes on when around others, but came on freq with me. What I'm saying is you're going to be her punching bag. What you feel now is the honeymoon phase, so you believe you're perfect for each other with the exception of this one flaw. But, let me tell you this temper shit gets old very quickly. So you have to ask yourself realistically, are you cool with dealing with that for the rest of your life? Because realistically it is very unlikely she will change, and YOU'RE certainly not the one who's going to do it.
Wanting a sex life to be part of your marriage is not an unusual thing or big ask. Honestly it sounds like you should move forward with the divorce.
You could try finding a marriage counselor, but I think you should cut your losses now.
she hits you sometimes…
there is a chance you are already having abuse trauma and a failed parasympathetic nervous system response, and are not seeing things clearly because of abuse trauma
when someone you love(d) abuses you, the trauma is not the bruise on the arm where you blocked the head punch, or the bruise on the knee where you blocked the full-force kicks. it's from your ways of coping, beginning to collapse inside because someone you have extended your heart to, is doing something crueler than you were prepared for, that in no way were you prepared for
I am generalizing but I hope you hear. You have to get out.