Sorry, but…. you asked. If you wanted him to lie, and it sounds like you did, you are going to have to tell him that's what you want. One of the absolute hardest things to do is be okay with the fact that there's always someone better than you, prettier than you, smarter than you..etc. And…. that's OK! You're also smarter, prettier and better than a lot of others, that's the way it works. It is very worth it to learn to embrace our personal strengths without needing to be the best. And to learn not to dig for false praise if the risk is hearing an honest answer we can't handle emotionally.
He did have tinder and bumble and even hinge, but I made him erase those apps. So I thought he found a website to use since his laptop is always locked.
It sounds like he’s got some sexist beliefs and leans toward selfishness. I would probably ditch him.
I’ve made the majority of the money in my relationship the entire time and I make all of the money now. I would never treat my partner that way, it’s condescending and dismissive of the work you do. I share all of my money with my partner equally, I pay all the bills, put a little away, buy all household necessities (including wigs, clothing, & makeup), and then what’s left is split between the two of us because we are partners.
It sounds like he treats you as lesser than. I’m sorry you love someone that thinks so poorly of you. Good luck.
I mean….if he doesn't but says he would marry you, you could either propose to him. Or skip the proposal, talk to him and you both agree on a date for the wedding and start preparations.
No we were both on exchange in France, and have been in a relationship for 4 months there, snd no one month apart. He was with her from 17-18/19, then she had to move to a foreign country snd ld didnt work iut for them. So he hasnt been together with her for like a year now ig.
You just have to actually stop doing those things for him. My hubby and I have been married 18 years, together for 22. We both work full time. He does his laundry, I do mine. He cleans up his messes, I clean up mine. There are times we do help one another for whatever reason, but it’s definitely more of a 50/50 split. Like he vacuums and takes care of the outside chores (I do the garden beds but he mows and all the rest) and I do more of the fine-tune cleaning like dusting and baseboards as needed.
Oh yes because all you have to do to stop an abuser is ask the magic sentence… Are you gaslighting me? Everyone knows they have to say the truth just like a cop Has to tell you if they’re an undercover cop LMFAO what is even the point of this it’s been six months what the fuck are you holding onto?
Your reasoning isn't any less anecdotal unless you somehow have full insight into OP's relationship. And what do you mean “whether true or untrue”. What benefit do I have from lying
I love this comment and appreciate the depth. He was really nice to me and loved his mom. I genuinely want him happy. I guess I felt like a hypocrite for talking to him when I told my husband his ex was off limits. She gave me weird vibes and he had a hard time with her letting him go.
I never want anyone to be sad. I’ve felt sadness before and it sucks. I have depression so I just wanted him to know it’ll be okay.
thank you for taking the time to write this he is not my boyfriend though, we just hang out together but we are intimate i don’t mind him talking about other women usually, but not about my best friend and not after i told him it makes me weirdly jealous wasn’t an intrusive though, it’s something he’d been thinking about for a while (idk, last few weeks maybe?) it was very weird for me he’d ask me about her ass and breasts, makes me a bit sick remembering it
Don’t beat yourself up either…tough love motivates change for the better. And it’s not something you hang onto to the point things get like this. Either more going on with her or if not then she should’ve gotten therapy to help with that minor thing she blew up and never released.
Like others have said, Irreconcilable Differences. Sooner it’s over the sooner amazing can begin again.
I’d hire a PI darling. Also check phone records if you can. Get hard evidence so he can’t gaslight you
I won't ask my partner to rate me because I know I'm not THAT attractive and I will feel bad if he were to be honest with his answer.
Wow why are you okay with her being so close to an ex. Grow a backbone and set some boundaries
Sorry, but…. you asked. If you wanted him to lie, and it sounds like you did, you are going to have to tell him that's what you want. One of the absolute hardest things to do is be okay with the fact that there's always someone better than you, prettier than you, smarter than you..etc. And…. that's OK! You're also smarter, prettier and better than a lot of others, that's the way it works. It is very worth it to learn to embrace our personal strengths without needing to be the best. And to learn not to dig for false praise if the risk is hearing an honest answer we can't handle emotionally.
He did have tinder and bumble and even hinge, but I made him erase those apps. So I thought he found a website to use since his laptop is always locked.
It sounds like he’s got some sexist beliefs and leans toward selfishness. I would probably ditch him.
I’ve made the majority of the money in my relationship the entire time and I make all of the money now. I would never treat my partner that way, it’s condescending and dismissive of the work you do. I share all of my money with my partner equally, I pay all the bills, put a little away, buy all household necessities (including wigs, clothing, & makeup), and then what’s left is split between the two of us because we are partners.
It sounds like he treats you as lesser than. I’m sorry you love someone that thinks so poorly of you. Good luck.
Do you really need him to propose?
I mean….if he doesn't but says he would marry you, you could either propose to him. Or skip the proposal, talk to him and you both agree on a date for the wedding and start preparations.
Yes, I think there's a saying “Be nice to people on the way up, as you might meet them again on the way down.”
DO NOT HAVE KIDS until this is resolved. This makes it so much worse.
No we were both on exchange in France, and have been in a relationship for 4 months there, snd no one month apart. He was with her from 17-18/19, then she had to move to a foreign country snd ld didnt work iut for them. So he hasnt been together with her for like a year now ig.
You just have to actually stop doing those things for him. My hubby and I have been married 18 years, together for 22. We both work full time. He does his laundry, I do mine. He cleans up his messes, I clean up mine. There are times we do help one another for whatever reason, but it’s definitely more of a 50/50 split. Like he vacuums and takes care of the outside chores (I do the garden beds but he mows and all the rest) and I do more of the fine-tune cleaning like dusting and baseboards as needed.
WTF. That's horrible. Nobody should have to go through that.
Exactly.
You look stunning!
Oh yes because all you have to do to stop an abuser is ask the magic sentence… Are you gaslighting me? Everyone knows they have to say the truth just like a cop Has to tell you if they’re an undercover cop LMFAO what is even the point of this it’s been six months what the fuck are you holding onto?
Galactic Yeet Time.
Do you usually lie to your husband about it though? This is the main factor here.
Your reasoning isn't any less anecdotal unless you somehow have full insight into OP's relationship. And what do you mean “whether true or untrue”. What benefit do I have from lying
I love this comment and appreciate the depth. He was really nice to me and loved his mom. I genuinely want him happy. I guess I felt like a hypocrite for talking to him when I told my husband his ex was off limits. She gave me weird vibes and he had a hard time with her letting him go.
I never want anyone to be sad. I’ve felt sadness before and it sucks. I have depression so I just wanted him to know it’ll be okay.
thank you for taking the time to write this he is not my boyfriend though, we just hang out together but we are intimate i don’t mind him talking about other women usually, but not about my best friend and not after i told him it makes me weirdly jealous wasn’t an intrusive though, it’s something he’d been thinking about for a while (idk, last few weeks maybe?) it was very weird for me he’d ask me about her ass and breasts, makes me a bit sick remembering it
Don’t beat yourself up either…tough love motivates change for the better. And it’s not something you hang onto to the point things get like this. Either more going on with her or if not then she should’ve gotten therapy to help with that minor thing she blew up and never released.
Like others have said, Irreconcilable Differences. Sooner it’s over the sooner amazing can begin again.
He won't change because you don't say anything. Stop being meek and putting up with that shit.
Bro…. What planet have you been living on? Post a picture so we can make fun how you look. Probably got a cookie cutter basic face.
Tip: stop thinking about kids with her & run