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Hi mmm! Blowjob goal [Multi Goal]
Date: October 14, 2022
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YTA. You sound like a real charmer. Did you invite her to move in for the sex and when life got complicated, you want to boot her out? She would be better off without you.
YTA. You sound like a real charmer. Did you invite her to move in for the sex and when life got complicated, you want to boot her out? She would be better off without you.
sucks to hear man but i think movin on is better
What creepy comment.
He cheated and he’s a liar. Dump him.
He’s lying, trying to control you and full of double standards.
Yeah, “I cheated on you and lied about it.. but… at least I wore protection?” He lied and lied and finally admitted part of it, I'd bet money he's still lying about part of the situation.
Don’t tell her your past is your past
I would say in that case DON’T tell her. Just go ahead and break up. Why blow up the friendship, which seems to be the primary relationship, if you don’t actually value the romantic one? If he tells her, she might tell other people and that will blow up the friendship too. If he’s not putting the gf first, she isn’t “the one”.
That’s because you’re not a professional therapist which is what she needs. She has some deep seated issues and trauma you don’t know about, hence why you can’t help her.
We talked about it last night. I do feel a large breakthrough happening, so I started with that, and explained my behaviors and how more and more I’m understanding them. He told me he felt very reassured! Thank you for your comment!
Why not all ways of love? Your trying to force the opposite of monogamy instead of supporting all kinds of love. It’s like sexualities, we are who we are; Some of us are poly some are mono etc. It’s okay to be who you are. You just have to find someone who shares your view on this, as with anything in relationships.
Wait until she has a 14 yo daughter. They never respond to texts.
I would sit your kids down ask them , how is Ashley with them , how she traet them , if she makes snacks, if she is with daddy in the room for long . Things like that . The kids will feel comfortable with you asking them all this because it will seem like you know everything.
After when the kids are at school. Like a comment say pretend to leave and come back and see what you see . Also put nanny cams in the mean time to get proved, if there is prove to get.
After honestly, I would just barge in on them even if they are just talking and ask straight up , are you having sex with Ashley? ( is she single? )
What ever the answer is, kick her out let her know she isn't welcome in your house anymore , and also depending on your husband answer , he can take the couch or find somewhere to sleep for the night.
This sound like a cliche – husband with sitter.
●he is coaching your kids to lie to you. Teaching them that it's OK to lie to you. ● he had a full stranger taking care of your kids , and you expressed your concern, he is traying to playing it down to not wanting to be late. ● he couldn't even deal with 1 1/2 of parent duty before he NEEDED HELP. ● like all comment say if expefic messages are missing he INTENTIONALLY deleted those messages. What is he hiding ?
Best of luck
oh i’ve never snapped a day in my life(!) but she showed interest, so if you want, show some back.
Hello God, it’s me. Thank you for making me a lesbian. Amen.
And honestly at this point I feel rather indifferent about her.
First, I'm sorry you're going thru this. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents, and also an alcoholic aunt. My mom died of bleeding esophageal varices the day before I was due to head back to college for my senior year. There's a reason they call this a family disease.
On the quote, are you sure you feel indifferent? That would be very surprising, but I get why you'd say this. Is it possible you wish you could be indifferent, but you can't quite get there? You'd be happier and healthier if you could get to that point, but if you were truly there, you wouldn't have taken the time to write out this long question. Trust me, I get all of this!
Have you ever been to an Alanon meeting? I know for fact you're probably thinking “not just no, but hell no”. I hope you consider it, though. If you're thinking this is such an odd or weird set of circumstances, it isn't. You can get so much support and knowledge from people who innately understand what you're going thru and have come out the other side.
On your question, I don't think one person can answer this for another. I completely agree your own mental health comes first, but this is hard to implement when it's your own family.
Finally, just a random fact on liver transplants. If you're in the US, and nobody in the fam can do a “directed donation”, your sister would have to go through UNOS and register for one. However, they are very strict when it comes to liver disease caused by alcoholism. She'd need to prove a year's sobriety through statements made by local AA people, or something similar. There's also a big risk that if she keeps drinking, she'll become physically unable to survive the transplant surgery.
She wont want me go myself because then shes not included. We will most likely just go for the day xmas day because thats the best i can come up with for both of us. My problem isnt nessicarily that she doesnt want to go and be uncomfortable…its the way she goes about it by telling me how horrible she thinks my family and house is and says everyone else is toxic…
This is a double sided problem. You shouldn’t expect something from your partner and he doesn’t need to express his love on paper. Don’t get me wrong, heartfelt gestures are awesome but that’s why they are called heartfelt… Because they are from the heart and spontaneity made. So I stand that both of you are in the wrong and y’all need to find a way to apologize. Everyone expresses love differently.
It’s just a Christmas gift. Let it go. I bet she actually over thought it and panicked and bought that, which is why she’s anxious that you’re disappointed. I hated buying BF’s presents, so much pressure and I could never find great stuff. When your birthday rolls around make a point of saying “oh man I’d love one of those (item)!” About the various things you do like. Drop plenty of hints, see if she catches them.
Your answer is in your last statement. The other exes were kids (even the awful one.)
Your current boyfriend is a man.
As a father of daughters, he may also be creating distance because he doesn't think it will last. But men interact differently with other men versus boys.
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This is scary.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your inheritance is a gift from a loved one – to you!
I've been with my other half over 30 years, we have 3 children, and still they wanted NOTHING to do with an inheritance I received. Didn't even want to know how much. It is mine to do with as I wish.
Your boyfriend is setting off your spider scenses – listen to your gut. This is not ok
Might not be what most people do, but your boundaries are really not their business. Tune out the naysayers. They don't know the nuances of your relationship and what makes sense to the two of you.
You mentioned that it’s a cultural expectation not to meet parents until later in the relationship. Can you tell me more about this tradition? What relationship milestones are customary before I meet your mom and dad?
If he can’t answer these questions, then you need to know why. If he can answer them and you are uncomfortable with the answer, it’s okay to ask for a compromise. For instance, if he says that he will introduce you after you are engaged, you are allowed to be uncomfortable with that. If so, you are allowed to say this:
In my culture it is very important that a relationship is out in the open and known about. Otherwise it can be seen as scandalous and can affect people’s reputation. It is very important to me that I meet your parents.
This is a fancy, old school way of saying “I don’t want to be anyone’s dirty secret, and in my culture people don’t hide their girlfriends.”
I'm always a bit suspicious when someone shows up asking for opinions but is super vague. We can't possibly help if we don't know what's going on.
The way you worded the first sentence sounded as if it were her place, and from what you described it is a family residence. So not quite buying your reply.
Typically the younger person has some sort of childhood trauma or mental illness and shouldn't involve themselves in a relationship without working on themselves first. A 23yo should know better, you're acting like she's a minor.
If everyone in your family dislikes her and she makes you feel bad constantly… what more is there to say?
Also, even if people don't seem “objective” to you, a lot of the time they will have valuable input and valid opinions anyway. You shouldn't dismiss everything your family say just because you feel they are biased. That's just closing yourself to information that can help you navigate better.
Does she cheat or just thinks it would be fun. I think anal would be fun. Wife doesn’t but I didn’t leave her.
Firstly, breathe.
Secondly, do not erratically call and message him demanding for some explanation and closure.
Do something for yourself to distract yourself; whether it’s taking a walk, spending time with family or friends etc.
I do not know the circumstances but all I can tell you is do not do anything whilst emotions are still raw and fresh.
You're right:(
You are welcome. I have not been through what you have. I won’t pretend to understand.
I will gladly be here anytime you need to talk or need virtual hugs. I mean it. ???
Could you report the card lost/stolen? That usually shuts the cards off
Sounds like you’re trying to push the blame onto your husband. This sounds like a very well rehearsed story to justify and garner sympathy for your actions.
Not to say that your husband doesn’t share some blame by being avoidant, but judging by your post you use divorce as a thread of emotional blackmail and it seems that it’s not so much your husband was doing anything wrong for you to be struggling you were just unhappy in the marriage and put that blame of unhappiness on him. The mention of being a “nicer wife” is also concerning.
You put a lot of emphasis around what you want, how you feel but very little about actually what the actual problem is.
Either way, the right thing is never to have an emotional affair and break up the family then dive straight into another relationship.
It’s okay to be unhappy with your relationship and not want to be in it at all, but anyone with any respect for their family or partner wouldn’t line up another relationship and instead actually work out the new family dynamic as a team instead.
Elements of narcissism leaking through too.
The funny thing is you were also in a relationship so how is he not also a homewrecker if that is how it works? Some people will believe anything to take a cheater back. Don't feel the need to stop telling the story to people no matter what he says. But definitely go ahead and make a brand new happy life and take no bullshit from any of them.
At the time of the cheating through the first 6 months of our relationship (that I know of) I was dealing with a lot. I had just been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and had self treating alcoholism. I was diagnosed bi polar after an extended stay in a behavior unit around the time when we met. He lived a few hours away, and messaged me on fb one day as a stranger. We’d messaged back and forth a bit. One day a few weeks after the first contact, he messaged me saying he was very low and needed someone right now and asked me to come out where he lived. Obviously a healthy person with a job would not do this but I just lost my job by quitting via phone from the behavior unit, and I did not care about myself anyway. Que 3 years now of a very tumultuous relationship. Why didn’t I leave when he cheated? I felt even though I wasn’t having other partners behind his back, I was still garbage because of functioning alcoholism. He always says I am sick and crazy. Sure, okay I know. But now that the alcoholism is under control I realize it is actually a very serious condition, legitimate, and for him to always be saying I am “sick” and “crazy” as negatively as it can be said getting old. Anyway to answer your question, i didn’t leave because of alcoholism and a low grasp of reality. That is improving now.
If you want him out of your life, stop taking him on trips. Stop paying for anything for him. You probably don’t see it but you are enabling him as well. Ask him why he’s not working or helping your mother. Ask him why he thinks he knows anything about finances. Tell him you’re disappointed in him. It sounds like everyone treats him with kid gloves and tiptoes around the issue. Be blunt.
Cheating is a deal breaker for me. I know it isn't for everyone. But, if you were to move forward with her, it's her responsibility to earn back your trust by being transparent about everything. If she's unwilling to do that, and it seems she is, then as difficult as it may be, it may be time to cut your losses and move on.
His situation is complicated, and I don't wanna dive into it on here out of respect. But yeah I don't know, it's weird. I'm not asking to immediately step in and be a mother to his children. I want the security of knowing he's not going to fuck anyone else.
You’ve forgotten Kylie’s husband!! He deserves the option of knowingly choosing his wife each day (or not). Just like Sydney deserves the right to know Nick isn’t being exclusive with her.
I’d give Kylie a week (or less) to tell her husband before you tell Sydney.
Finally, while she will likely hate you, you’re doing Kylie a favor, because she needs to figure out better ways of coping in her relationship(s)
FYI OP. Someone cross-posted this to the limerance subreddit
Or do the better thing, find someone who isn't nickel and dining the relationship.
This sounds so exhausting. “Send me $3 for soy sauce” imaging spending the rest of your life with that.
I wouldn't join finances with someone like yur boyfriend.. His constant not good enough bs, and the accrual of debt is a real turn off.
I think the problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want me there in the first place.
That is a big problem yeah, and it sounds like cause for concern. You don't have to be welded to each other 24/7 and having your own lives that don't just revolve around the relationship is important, but your boyfriend should want to introduce you to his friends.
If you aren't comfortable after meeting her, or if he refuses to introduce you then I personally would leave the relationship.
Keep the baby, divorce the husband
Compromise and do it over the phone or video chat. There is no need to do it in person.
OP are you starved for attention? Apparently that’s the case. Nothing good can come from this meet up.
My BF also needs his time to decompress, but luckily he needs less sleep than I do so he can do his gaming and chilling while I’m still sleeping.
Maybe your GF is frustrated that you didn’t do Valentine’s Day in person. For many, that’s a big deal, even if you did send some nice thoughtful gifts.
I don’t know what other “weaknesses”she mentioned, but I’d have a serious talk to find out what her expectations are and how you two can work out a schedule that accommodates both of your needs.
Agree 100%
And OP also says that her sister drinks a lot. She’s no lightweight.
You’re making assumptions based on incomplete information.
Try being objective in this sub and only use the information given.
Dr Gary Chapman's “Five Love Languages” great book. You and your bf should read it together. One of the Languages is called “Words of Affirmation” good job! Your great! Thanks, that really helped! Your beautiful!
Sounds like that is one of yours (for me it's a close second behind physical touch)
While going through it with your bf, point out what resonates with you and what doesn't (I had a 0 on “Acts of Service” I think of them as chores)
Point out that you need this often and that if you don't hear it from him, you will believe he thinks the opposite.
The friends typing is so fake I started laughing. Like, in this situation his primary focus is this reddit post, and when he becomes too inebriated, this thread is so important he tells his friends to please keep replying for him?? Like wtf ?? this is not real life.
The friends typing is so fake I started laughing. Like, in this situation his primary focus is this reddit post, and when he becomes too inebriated, this thread is so important he tells his friends to please keep replying for him?? Like wtf ?? this is not real life.
Yeah, that fucking sucks. That really fucking sucks.
There are people out there who would never do that – I wish there was some way to tell for sure who they were. Thank god you found out before the wedding, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. You just need time.
Ever hear of the expression, “you don’t shit where you eat?” Think about that next time you try to stick a coworker, it’ll only end poorly
You dump her.
Also, never fucking flush condoms holy fucking shit
Well, you did some shit things, she did some shit thing, but… punching is not just a shit thing it's an abusive thing. I can't tell you how to feel but you definitely didn't deserve that and it's a good thing this is over.
Now stop going back to her.
I did meant incest – He said that my relationship with my father looks to him like we have incest relationship. And this is exactly why I was so hurt and shocked – I love my father and we are close, I grew up only with him by my side as a parent figure, I think it's natural to be close and talk to him regularly, but there is nothing out of the ordinary father-daughter relationship between me and him but how did my boyfriend came up with this conclusion I don't know and he didn't want to talk about it after he apologized the first time.
Also sorry, I didn't write that clearly : the group therapy with the husband and the wife is with other patients too. But he goes to his own sessions only with the woman. Anyway they do have non-therapy relationship and he visits them for lunch regularly which is weird for me.
Thank you for your advice really, I appreciate it
I mean she probably thinks the same thing about him? He sounds like he's lacking in the critical thinking department.
Either way splitting up was probably best for both of them.
Fake post
It’s hard, I know that it can make the person feel like they’re a burden. At the end of the day, they should want it for themselves regardless; to be more self sufficient with managing their emotions… it’s not an easy conversation, I’m not sure you can avoid it. You’ll love her through it, especially if it’s something to do with your relationship, but the other parts need to be redirected to her professional if possible. It’s hard to give clear cut advice since everyone is so different.
It seems to come out from a place of concern and love. I offer to pick my wife up as well if I can when she visits friends and likewise she does for me if I visit friends or go to a pub
How long have you been married? You said together 6 years. Married that whole time? Unless you make an insane amount or he takes custody of the child, you will likely not owe him anything other than half of the accumulated marital assets.
I joined a quitting weed group and there's a lot of people that experienced this?
Probably a binge drinking alcoholic. He won’t change unless he really wants to.
First, pedophilia is not gay. Get that out of your head. Incest is not gay or lesbian or whatever. It is abuse, period. Why on earth would they blame a child for being abused in any way? Bottom line is that if he feels the need to share, so long as he is aware that your parents might be ridiculous and in some way demean him, it’s his story to tell how he wants it to be told. It sounds a little like YOU may be the one struggling a bit with his past. Say it again: he did not ask to be sexually abused. He is a survivor. That’s it.
I’d message cause it seems you want to – but I don’t think it’d make you uncool to ask him about it.
Your ex was your ex but this is a new person , you know? Gotta learn who they are and how they roll separate from the last person. But I hear the fear of being too much or coming on too clingy or needy. That’s why I think the best way to address it is ironically, to communicate!
Did you already agree? It sounds like she’s already decided to go after this guy. An open relationship requires two “Yes” and one “No.” If she is doing this against your wishes, then it’s cheating and I’d break up.
Tell her that your boundaries mean as much as hers, and your boundaries are not endangering her marriage, but hers are.
So what does she want, a marriage, or to be known as a cheater for the rest of her life?
May break up
Should break up.
How he feels about his behaviour is relevant to him. It is not at all relevant to you.
Your entire focus now should be on how you feel when this happens, and whether you're willing to be made to feel that way going forward.
I hope the answer is no ❤️
Okay. Then it's not a fetish for you.
Therapy is a valid solution.
I'm bilingual in Russian and English, but I had the advantage of learning both from parents (mixed heritage). I have not learned a language as an adult.
The language barrier isn't that high, I think her English is actually pretty good, just lacking some more advanced vocab (which I totally understand, my Russian is similar). I did mostly ignore this stuff for a while because I thought it was language barrier but it's lots of little things that added up.
Don’t let him gaslight you and deflect blame. Your response is measured and appropriate. Kick him out of your home and call a lawyer. Better to get it over with so you don’t have to live your whole life like this.
Ask her if she hates you.
Her reaction will tell you all you need to know.
You only get one mum and it sounds like you love her. Make the most of the time left with her. Wishing you strength and love