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Date: October 18, 2022
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The first thought is usually the correct thought.
They have kids together. You skipped the headline. This is ok.
Why does everyone keep repeating that she is impoverished!? Are you all having a shared fantasy?
You must leave him asap. Gather whatever evidence you can, take your child and leave. Never leave him with child unattended. I'd actually go to the police and tell them your husband drugged your child. That's so fucked up on so many levels.
I am suspecting that too.
Did you anticipate her needs, though? Did you make sure she was shaved and showered that day? That she needed a manicure? That her hairstyle and schedule would allow for a head massage? Did you completely understand all the nuances and politics at her work, so that even if her manager was super nice about it, it would still be frowned upon or even potentially hurt her? Did you make sure that she was in a headspace to take a couple hours off, and wasn’t in the middle of anything, including discussions?
Or did you want to go to a spa, and turn her asking you to treat her better romantically as the perfect excuse to go? Because that’s sure what it sounds like to me.
AND you got angry with her, destroying any chance of her being able to shift mindsets. She can’t go back to work, because she would tell them…what? She is in no mood to go to a spa and worry about hairy legs or swamp crotch or anything else. You’re not her spouse, she is already overwhelmed and has money and housing to worry about (just because you are not worried about those things does not mean that she isn’t); why choose to increase her stress at all levels?
Cuz you felt like you would enjoy a spa day, and it would get you points?
Dude
Yeah i wouldn't be on board with something like this at all. Its so weird.
It'll hurt, you'll keep seeing it but it will get better in time. I did get back together with a guy who “cheated” (tried yo), huge mistake! I was obsessed with her, comparing myself to her, I couldn't get any of it out of my mind. Don't be like me, don't repeat my mistake. If I blocked the motherfucker instead of confronting him, I'd get over it in a few months and be able to move on with my life. You're too young to waste your time on a guy like that. Go have fun. Best of luck!
Can I ask?. Has anything changed for him professionally?. Has there been changes in his family or friends?. What kind of job does he have?. I am simply trying to see if there any chance of a burn out, depression, an undiagnozed condition. If that is the case he will need some therapy. In my opinion you'll need to have a sit down with him and really have a conversation with him telling him about you feel and what you've tried to accomplish with him. From there you'll either have to decide if you need to bring in some help in the form of friends or family. I hope it works out for you guys good luck.
I am a woman and I work in an office of all men. Sometimes, the team goes out for drinks. I was engaged to someone like your boyfriend, I never got to go.
I can now say that I am with someone else and it is like breathing for the first time. Like you've had a leash on for years and now you can just… do things. If you can find the strength inside yourself, you can find someone else. Someone who will trust you to spend your own free time the way you want. So you can spend all day apart and come home, and your partner will ask if you had fun and you can say yes and then you can enjoy your evening together.
No jealousy. No projecting. No getting angry that you didn't update them enough. No anger that you're late, in fact no expectation when you'll be home. He will actively encourage you to spend time with your friends and apart, because he believes in healthy boundaries and couples not becoming codependent. He will trust you. He will tell you how sexy you look on date night, he won't ask you to change or cover up.
If you can find the strength in yourself, you can have this. But it has to be you. No one will fix your boyfriend, including him. No one will take you away. It has to come from you.
Creative writing exercise
What does Mando have to do with anything though?
The exhausting drama of him. Grant him his wish. Walk away. I need a nap just trying to keep up with him through your post.