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Date: November 6, 2022
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An alternative view is that he doesn't want a mommy but because you're a bit cold to him he's wanting a little 'gf' behaviour from you, haha.
Like 'oh she cleaned my shirt, she does care!' haha. Wouldn't be quick to assume he's trying to force a mommy role on you
Hey thanks so much for your input. This is my first time dating since I was 21, so it all feels very “new” to me. I totally understand the fling thing, I guess I just have a hard time seeing why someone would say all the things she said and then just leave out of no where. Makes no sense to me! But I agree it's probably not worth reaching out. Thank you again.
I would like to mention I feel crappy about talking about how I feel to her because I don’t want to seem high maintenance or some type of baggage for her to simply drop me.
That’s smart!! I literally can’t keep up with how many people have fetish/ creative writing stories on this thread. It’s the least moderated & easiest sub to post on. I want to be a moderator soo badly lol.
I think, ultimately, him having this attitude doesn’t bode well. Consider this; if you do become a housewife and he pays for everything this will only exacerbate his attitude towards your labor and you will no longer have a fulfilling job.
Ideally, he should want to see you happy. That’s what good spouses should want for each other. Do you value his work and his hobbies? Could he maybe feel taken advantage of since he does pay for so much? Rarely is someone just an ass to be an ass. You’ve spent 8 years with this man, and I think you should have a full conversation with him about not only the household chores, but finances, financial burden and stress, and ultimately what you both want in a long term marriage. If he wants a housewife, I don’t think it’s right or fair for you to give up a very fulfilling job solely for his happiness. And, respectively, if you want a truly equal partnership, then it certainly isn’t fair that the majority of bills and financial stress reside on him solely for your happiness. Compromises should be made for this relationship, but some things are very dead to a person’s sense of self worth and only you two can determine that.
Hope this helps, and I really think some additional context on y’all’s marriage might help others better help you. Good luck, OP ?
Do you have a wife or do you have a roommate? Jfc. Sit down and talk it through. And maybe try not acting like you’re business partners, and like you actually love each other.
Abusers don't change. I am disabled due to PTSD from severe DV. They don't change. I am currently trying to remove myself from another violent situation but financially I can't yet. If you can get away do so. Best course of action take the children with you. Get her violence on video. Keep texts and voice-mail messages if and when she threatens or blackmail you.
Reddit dislikes it because people tend to derail even really disturbing posts with arguments about it. Not in this case, which sounds innocent, but on posts where (for example) someone assaulted a 15-year-old and their spouse calls them a pedo in the post, you get a bunch of people going “Well acshually…” when the main issue is just that they need to leave and alert the cops.
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I wouldn’t be able to know he’s sharing them until it’s too late
Personally I think OP and her man suck. They're fully grown adults behaving like teenagers spending all this money on HOTEL ROOMS just to fuck. They could get a motel if they were desperate but I guess for their bogan situation they believe they should put some class into it? Very weird… they seem barely compatible anyway, they should break up and save proper money this is so weird.
Hi, OP. I'm a 60 yr old dad of a 24 yr old son. My belief is that a parent's primary role is to raise their kids to be respectful, productive, and independent adults. It appears your parents did that with you.
You can absolutely love and respect your dad without living under the same roof. In my opinion, that should be your goal rather than granting his request for you to move back in with him. You also need to keep in mind that one of the reasons why you two get along so well now could be because you don't live in the same house. Spending time with his son is something to look forward to and treasure. Seeing his adult son for hours every day could very easily diminish that over time. Worst case scenario is that your relationship devolves back into what it was years ago.
Your adult life is not your dad's to live, OP, especially when his request affects your gf/partner. I suggest you gently but unambiguously let him know that as the productive and independent 32 yr old he raised you to be, you cannot and will not move back home. Like I said, you can love your dad without living in his home.
Honestly what you said is fair. Which is why I hope OP is reading this comment thread.
OP, are you sure you want a LTR with this girl? If so then go ahead and take the women’s advice on this thread. Don’t be shocked if she ghosts you though. If you think about it some more and come to the conclusion you are just trying to lose your virginity and are not too wrapped up in the idea of a relationship, then don’t tell her. Read the women’s comments about it being a teacher/student relationship and how not all women want that at your age. She is right not all women want that at your age, but that’s why I want you OP to actually ask yourself, are you really truly trying to have a LTR with this chick or are you trying to get your virginity out of the way. If it’s the latter don’t tell her, sure she will figure it out anyway but that doesn’t matter if you are just trying to lose your virginity. I’m telling you how it is OP, you make up your own mind.
Once you two get married you both are liable for child support .
I’ve been to therapy, but it just feels like it doesn’t work out, I always feel like I never got to talk about how I feel, or feel even worse than I did when I arrived, and they just ask me questions that have nothing to do with my problems.
Over the last 6 years I’ve been to 3 different therapists for about 1 or 2 years each, but none of them have really felt like they made a difference.
You aren't the reason he cheated, and that's not cheating. He kicked her out because of her behavior. It's not on you if they don't get back together. You don't remedy the situation and don't move just because of this – that's letting him chase you out of your home. He is a problem. If he wants to go back to his wife, he will. But as long as you don't go back to him, that's all you can do. Block his communications. Every form. Text, email. call. If he shows up to your grandma's, leave the room so he can visit with her.
I’ve honestly been thinking about breaking up, but we currently share an apartment and our rent is really good.
I’m thinking about breaking up right before I move provinces (September-ish) but if that’s the case I want to make sure she has stable living conditions. I don’t want to leave her high and dry.
A mother should come before a relationship if the son still lives at home, it’s a child relationship. If he wants a future and a home with someone, relationship should come first.
OP here's the thing about dicks like your in-laws. What they hope for is a reaction. So give it to them. Go full Circus on them. Make banners that can be opened up on a moment's notice. Give the DJ a few circus songs. Give some close friends whip cream pies. Make them jump literal flaming hoops. Film it all. Post it online. BURN BRIDGES AND WARM YOURSELF FOR YEARS TO COME.
Or just tell them that this is what'll happen if he really decides to wear a clown costume.
But when I’m not super generous and kind, I feel rude. After my breakup, at work, I’m very quiet and I don’t chat much. Everyone in the team seems over the top nice and I’m just very neutral and one of the girls at work told me I seem cold. Which upsets me because it’s the opposite of how I Used to be.
It does not matter whether it was during her bachelorette party or years down the line, she cheated on him, got found out, and the friend recognized how messed up it was and trying to save someone from marrying a cheater.
You deserve someone who likes you for being yourself, not for being an easy to manipulate 21 year old. Have some respect for yourself and step away from older dudes like that. A relationship is nice, but not at this cost and I guarantee, you will find someone your age who likes you. You're fine, maybe try to see a therapist though, that can help.
In my family, the negationist is my father.
I love him, but I thank the heavens and hells that he's not living under my roof.
He sends me youtube videos with 12 views as “proof” that he is right, that Rona doesn't exist. The Ukranians want to invade us or some sh*t like that. The Earth was originally flat and now it became round. Oh, and Trump really won the elections, he told me to wait for the “Big break” and then the event in the Capitol happened. We are not americans, we are from Spain!!!
Once again, I love him, but trying to have a headed conversation with him is imposible, because he will then try to make you “see the light” and show you the last video of The truth.
My poor step-mother, she's still sane, but if she tried to shut him up with a fork, I would understand her.
This is between him and his mom. You can express that you aren't a fan of the curfew but only your partner can change it by talking to his mom.
I am more than willing to go to Google. My whole point has been that all he has to do is google it. He won't. Because he knows it's not a fact. I have actually learned a lot from googling different topics in religion.
Yeah I know her.. she pinched my ass and gave me a wink last time I saw her. lol
He should be so lucky to be with you. You have nothing to worry about you look hot. Dump him though, you can’t be with someone who is that terrible, you deserve way more, someone who will worship the ground you walk on.
You sound like a troll. You came here for advice, ignored all of it and seem to think everyone is saying the opposite of what they're actually saying.
Honestly if you're not trolling, i hope you did break up with him. You're the red flag and being with you must be stressful as fuck if you're throwing away relationships over things like this. Is he good to you? Loving? Does he support you? Great, he'll make a good catch for the next partner.
I don't think you should forget it tho, learn and grow from this.
It's going to hurt for sometime It's true.
One, block her from everything.
And keep yourself busy, go out with friends, see family. Pick up a new hobby, learn a new language just don't stay idle.
Boy does this guy sound like a great catch.
It isn't borderline abusive, HE IS abusive.
Well if she uses that argument on you.
“but she sexted him afterward” this proves that you CANT trust her. Her ex will always be a problem in your relationship. Let him deal with her and walk away. That would be my advise.