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Hello love I am a new girl I hope you love everything I can do??? [1208 tokens remaining]
Date: October 30, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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It's not the frequency of argument that tell how healthy your relationship is. It's how you resolve it.
IF your fights always end up in a shouting match, one of you walking out upset, or ending in physical altercations. It's unhealthy.
You gotta have the ability to argue topics you disagree with, without resorting to screaming or hurting each other or destroying items.
I think you guys should not make a decision right this very second. She's still early enough that you've got some time to figure this out. You can even go for therapy to help you reach that decision. If your decision is solely based on finances, perhaps you can work on a budget that would include baby costs to figure out if it's feasible to keep it or not. If it's that you're just not ready and she is, there's no shame in either of you being in different places in your life. You just need to figure out whether you both want to be there at the end. And that's there a professional might help you.
dude so hot.. its like unreal.
When a colleague and later when a friend tried hitting on me I didn't tell explain to them that what they did was wrong and that I'm in a committed relationship and wouldn't betray my wife. But I ghosted and ignored them. And showed my wife before she saw by herself (by accident or whatever). If he doesn't want to rock the boat, there are other ways for dealing with it that wouldn't leave you nervous and anxious about this situation, but it's on him, he should be the one doing his best to reassure you that your relationship is solid and he won't chest, not you. The way you described, it seems he dgaf
I am so sorry this is happening to both of you.
The closest person in my life outside blood relatives was someone with bipolar. For years, it worked super well; I'm autistic, so the joke was that their emotions didn't make sense but I couldn't read them anyway.
Then, lockdown happened. Overnight, I went from being their best friend in the world to someone they'd rather never see. It was hard, as we were roommates and it was lockdown, so we were always together except when I was at work. It got to the point where I'd come home and just hear the door slam as they closed it to make sure I didn't try to make conversation. They wouldn't even make eye contact. Sometimes if they were watching TV and I asked to join in, they'd say ok. Other times, they'd tell me to leave. Even watching a television show next to me was not acceptable to them. Meanwhile, I could hear them online all the time making friends and having a great time. At this point, they were not working or attending virtual college despite options. Eventually, the only times they spoke to me was to tell me about how wonderful this guy or that guy online was. And they told me they'd be leaving the country as soon as our lease was up to move in with one of these people. To say I was lonely was an understatement.
It was a year before I was done waiting for this manic/depressive swing to end. It wasn't the mental illness that drove me away, it was the fact that when I told them that the way they were treating me was unacceptable, they told me that this was their mental illness and I should just wait it out like their parents do and eventually they'll want to be close to me again. They had no desire for therapy, or meds, or anything, and thought I should just accept that this would be our lives sometimes. I realized I had one life to live, and I didn't want to spend it with someone who didn't see anything wrong with treating me this way. Mental illness is one thing when you are taking literally any steps to address it, it's something else when you expect everyone else to just take abuse. When I told them that even if they didn't leave after the lease was up, I was, they decided I was a selfish monster.
I was sort of lucky, in that this person had parents with money who would never let them starve so I didn't have to worry (too much) about their safety once I was gone. But I can tell you what it took me a very painful year to learn: Even if your loved one “comes back” . . . what then? Will they take the steps to make sure this doesn't happen again? Or will you spend the rest of your life worried that this will start all over?
It's been about two years. I live alone with a new kitten. I haven't made any friends as close as that person was to me, and I probably never will. And yet, I am infinitely happier, more confident, and more secure in my place in the world. It was worth it.
I hope this helps you in some way.
You live with her long enough to know convincing will not work. Even I can tell that, from your description alone. Everyone knows people like her, and while she isn't a bad person, she is not one you want much contact with.
Words have no effect on people like this, only actions can affect them. Therefore, yes, if you ask to change her behaviour you might as well speak to a wall, but if your reactions to behaving in a way you explained is horrible, will result in less contact with you and your children it might work. It won't change her mind, but depending on how much she actually cares about you and your children, she might just suck it up from time to time. Granted, she might not care about you enough to sacrifice her indulgence in annoying behaviour.
I am chronically ill. I learned long ago I would need work arounds. My husband is the breadwinner. I found a support ground to vent to. I applied for state disability ability, as soon as I could I applied for social security. This was prior to our marriage. We adopted our child, ironically she has a chronic genetic disorder that mirrors your wife’s.
When I went to social security to change some things, they insisted we apply for benefits for our child. She got a 850 dollar stipend a month. We were able to get a wheelchair van for me. I can use a cane to get to the drivers seat. We used part of my disability to get a housekeeper. While the housekeeper was there we napped. When she was 3 we had her in half day basically a play group. In the winter we used the crock pot. Summer the grill. We made it work.
My daughter was a easy baby. Except IBS, she was not diagnosed with her illness till 12. We went to a geneticist and she got officially diagnosed. We also found out that her illness requires both partners to have the gene.
We have a solid relationship, our daughter is struggling with her chronic invisible disability. She just got approved for assistance. Her fiancé is great. My daughter finally accepted a wheelchair wasn’t a shame it gave her more freedom outside the house. Inside she uses other things. We also got her a service dog at 7. He would sleep next to her belly Or on her lap. She realized the heat helped her stomach to pain. Sometimes she eats in the shower it helps her belly pain.
She had to come to peace with her disability, part of that was a pain management psychologist. She has a online support group. She now has a large service dog that helps with her mobility. We watched Harlow the helper dog and realized as an adult she could become more independent with a larger service dog. I ended up getting a standard poodle, we were able have self train.
Our work arounds reduced the pressure on my Dude.
“I like you, and I want to continue that, and in time go beyond liking.
I think we are getting along swimmingly. Just one concern: The high pace has caught me by surprise.
It is a part of my personality – I tend to go slow and steady.
You have more of a passionate and driven persona. Think of it like this: I am like a reliable employee; you are more of an ambitious leader of a promising start-up.
And the simple reality is: I am finding it difficult to handle the pace.
So if it's OK with you, can we dial back the speed a little? I will try to increase my pace a little, and you can also perhaps slow down a little.
I hope I am not asking for too much. Let me know your thoughts – candidly”.
Give the guy and the parents the wrong location
I’d ask if you know any words other than stupid but I guess little kids like you are still learning
He probably doesn't feel you☠️. As a guy that's probably what I'd say
Reading through your comments I think you're under reacting here. She's taking out her own issues on you emotionally. That's not fair or acceptable.