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Mom's apparently can do irresponsible things. There are a lot of victims out here who never get to express the disappointment. She gave the chance and you unloaded and it's over. Let it be and move on but the regret will last, not for what you did but for not having the mother you deserve.
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I'm glad someone finally addressed this part. Everyone's saying “break up” like OP didn't say she's been trying to but he keeps deflecting. Like I definitely see how her mom's house is awful and the relationship has issues on both sides but it really showed the boyfriend was using her by the fact he leaves all the chores to her AND won't let her break up with him cuz his new place isn't ready yet.
Also really interesting how there was not enough money when they both needed a place but he magically had the money to get himself a place immediately when he needed a place. Makes me wonder if he stuck around all this time for free room and food while he saved up
On the bright side, moments like these really show if your relationship can last for the long run. They say if your relationship can't survive hard times it's not going to survive “till death do us apart”
Sleep separately some how and start chargi g him room rent untill he leaves
Nah homie, there needs to be some kind of financial compensation for you basically ending your career to keep house and raise children. It’s not romantic in the slightest, but it is what is.
Ewwww. Dude, everything about this is nasty. I wouldn't be able to touch her knowing all this. Not normal. Not clean. Gross.
You should stay off the sub if being corrected hurts your ego
Soooo why are you with her?
It doesn’t sound like you’re fine, she’s just playing a longer game. The only way this makes sense, from what an outside can guess, is if your lifestyle is so drastically different than hers that she feels she needs a financial boost to keep up. Ex: you spend a lot on material items (clothes, watches, cars, gifts, etc) and she feels like she has an image to match. Then I could see this being less of a money grab and more understandable.
Ultimately, you get to decide if you want to fund her life, for whatever motivation. Personally, I think it’s unfortunate to reduce the value of a human being and your relationship to that of an ATM. But if you want to play Daddy Warbucks, that’s completely at your discretion.
Most parents take bath photos of their kids so I think you’d be fine. It would be a good idea to talk to the police again and mention that now that you’ve gotten your child’s drug test results handled you’d like to discuss something else that made you worried, and bring up the photos and the masturbating with the kid in the room. Also mention he called and left a vm (is that right?) insisting you not drug test the kid.
Don’t answer any more of his calls. Mute him, don’t block. Turn off read receipts. This is evidence gathering. Check it occasionally to see if he’s said something threatening. Make sure none of your apps share your location.
I hope you and your son will be okay.
You don’t need his permission. He’s being insecure and controlling.
Yeah, that thirst and that passion can sometimes make for really great, wild sex that you just can't forget. And it's possible she may have just been ovulating right then too that made it even more turned on and charged than it normally would have been, lol!
I’ll consider this seriously before making a decision. Thank you for your help!
Wait. Don't think for a second that what she did was something healthy OP.
It worked out now, but this can and will scare good honest people away. Tell her thanks, but to never do it again.
You’re allowed to have a blow out after getting news like that. Just don’t let her ruin your life. You found out before it too late. Promise you, it gets better. You do not want to marry someone that does that ??♀️
Download the Meeting Guide app it shows you different types of meetings in your area
Finally, someone is talking about the real problem!
There's a word 'partner' or 'significant other' that people use. I've seen SO being used a lot on this particular sub, too
Yeah it's not hormones. Your husband has sucked so astronomically throughout this whole process and literally given up nothing. You should divorce him and find a partner, not stay with the unhelpful overgrown man child you're with now.
Vomit.
Asking your teenage “best friend” to run away with you when you're in your late 30s, emotionally cheating on your wife for years … Dude, you're hot garbage.
you’re right, about the jump to therapy part
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this back n forth and feel I learned something from it, thank you very much (sincere)
Nothing. You not only made a choice but doubled down on it at the expense of your relationship with your son. You had multiple opportunities to course correct, and made your choice. Now you have to live the rest of your life with the consequences of your decision. Enjoy.
Actually, no, it will almost certainly present earlier. Huntington's is part of a class of genetic diseases that show anticipation, which means that they present earlier in subsequent generations.
Sexual attraction? Seems pretty obvious to me
You're focused on your fiance's reaction but not your own actions and issues. You've put your husband into a position to console you when it should be the other way around.
Why do you feel the need to drink to a point your get so drunk you cheat? With a 6 months old in the picture.
Speak with you doctor. Or a therapist that is more familiar with PPD. Get to the root of your own issues instead of focusing on your fiance's reaction to your actions.
Toxic masculinity is a baaaaad thing to be taught growing up. It literally takes me being racked with grief to start crying, it aint fun being unable to let out emotions when needed because you got taught that “men dont cry”.
That’s how I feel…
He doesn’t think you are going to die. You are changing your face which he evidently loves the way it is. Plastic surgery is not risk free no matter what you may think.
The first time my husband complained that I wasn't hanging his jeans correctly on the hangar was the LAST time I hung his jeans. We've been married 18 years and he hangs his jeans the way he likes.
The man has never once raised his voice to me or punched a thing.
GET OUT. As soon as you can make arrangements, GET OUT.
I hear a lot of non-gamers hate on people who spend their free time gaming but who also at the same time spend countless hours engaging in equally “wasteful” activities themselves.
Pointing out the hypocrisy and doesn’t always solve the problem but it can force them to have to try to explain how/why they think it’s different and that argument often falls flat.
If you are handling your life business and giving your family they time they need and deserve you should absolutely be able to spend your free time in any way that you please.
And if the dynamic in your relationship is that you get to dictate how the other person spends their free time then perhaps you should start telling her which of her hobbies she’s no longer allowed to engage in.
You married an underemployed man almost a decade your junior and I have a hunch it was nowhere near long enough between meeting and marriage. What were you thinking? I am sure he's a delightful playmate but what made you think he would be a solid partner?
He's not going to grow up in the next 36 weeks, so if you're going have the baby, either exit the marriage or resign yourself to being responsible for 2 children