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Date: October 2, 2022
My guess is that pron is involved. Could be he has a side chick, but you didn't point out any sus behaviors, so yeah, could be pron. Or else there have been significant changes to your body that puts him off. So, who usually initiates, you or him?
It is relevant. If you are a teenager I would explain that the rush of hormones has the practical effect of turning your emotions to 11. Even the irrational emotions like jealousy. At this time of your life, understanding that you are, effectively, under the influence of a massive amount of mind altering chemicals in your brain will help you understand how insecure and idiotic your behavior is when it is on the ebb. That way you know not to hold him responsible for your chaotic and irrational thoughts.
If you are over 19 then I would suggest that you seek professional help for your irrational thoughts. Because you may need medical help. If you don't believe that you are being irrational and jealous then ask him this:
“Does knowing that you are using my ex boyfriends cum receptical make you jealous?” because that seems far more intimate than a song. And if he hasn't shown any hesitation or feelings about having the most intimate of encounters with your recycled vagina, but YOU are all in your feels about him singing to you – then your brain is broken and you should get that checked out.
Or, you can “keep it moving” and release this man from your succubus clutches and allow him to find a healthy relationship with a healthy woman instead of saddling him with the inevitable decade of pain, grief and torture he is likely to suffer under your untreated mental health problems.
Better?
F(24) my husband M(25) and I have a son who is a few days shy of being 1 years old, but he doesn’t cry without a reason. Teething HURTS. It causes itching, burning, and sometimes horrible sinus pressure and mucus buildup. My son has gotten ear infections from teething. I give him Motrin and or Tylenol when I have to, and I have him eat things that soothe his gums (like teething crackers, veggie puffs, etc.) but sometimes because of his age and the lack of the ability to speak sentences and the lack of the ability to convey feelings, he gets upset and cries or yells for me or my husband because he doesn’t know what else to do. I’ve taught him to say “this” and “that” and point, but even that only helps so much. Patience with children is a virtue.
I can honestly say his reaction is 100% out of line and is pathetic from an adult. Whether he likes children or not or whether he’s been around children or not. I wouldn’t trust someone like that anywhere near my son tbh, and if I were you, if you ever want a child, I would run and find a man who is loving and understanding towards children.
Also, people grow and blossom together in HEALTHY relationships. You’re not trying to change him, you’re trying to redirect him and help him grow as a person. My husband and I began dating at 18 and 19, and I can assure you we have grown immensely since those days, and have plenty more room to grow. We all do. No matter how young or old we are, we have room to grow and change and become better than we were yesterday.
He sounds like a “me me me” person. He’s narcissistic. If it’s not about him and if it doesn’t accommodate him, f*** it all. Does that sound right? I had an ex like that. He became abusive… Like I said, run. That’s what I would do.
Seek professional help for your catfishing behaviour.
Ok she has at the least emotionally cheated why stay in contact. Has she made it clear she’s in a relationship and why is it the end of the world that the bf has a problem with this guy but to you it’s no big deal. He expressed he liked her and even tried to convince her to break up that may be in the past but what makes you think he’s just ok with that and won’t try it again. Boundaries need to be set
The kind of guy with these rules will absolutely care.
Just ask her politely. Assume there's a practical explanation before you consider escalating it.
I’m so emotionally invested in her and I can’t help thinking there must be a rational explantion, I replied to another comment saying I should have added that she’s not secretive with her phone and most of the notifications were generic bumbles ones with like one messsage and one new app
It's totally acceptable for you to stand firm on this, don't let him make u feel bad for that
You definitely would knowingly transmit a disease to a person under the guise of it being “unserious”…
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Yes, I would assume that your invite has been rejected. It’s not certain, but that’s the most likely outcome.
I really don’t think you need to go talk to your hairdresser about it. This really isn’t that big a deal. Sometimes people just don’t want the interaction. It probably doesn’t mean much, and you probably shouldn’t read much into it.
I mean, they would go more into depth than that, because the problem is a symptom of a larger problem (social conditioning that leads to false beliefs and negative self-image.) I’m talking about doing inner work related to y’all’s complicated feelings about dick size, NOT OP’s comment.
If you’ve never been to therapy, don’t assume what goes on there then disseminate inaccuracies to others. You could discourage someone from getting help.
Im so happy for you, that you’ve never had a mental health crisis like this so you don’t understand how difficult it is to just survive, let alone take care of a house and children, the feeling of pure despair and dread of waking up and having to exist in your head, the hell that is executive dysfunction and chronic depression.
But shut the fuck up.
Nope, not cool.
Staying with him will be a much more miserable hell than leaving him. He doesn't respect you. You don't need more friends…you need to leave the relationship. He is an abuser and the longer you wait to leave him the more dangerous it will be for you when you do.
LEAVE HIM.
If you won’t say anything for yourself. Please think of other young girls getting into military and the fact that allowing people to joke about this , makes them think it’s okay, and it’s gonna keep happening.
it is. i don’t know if it can get better or if we are just mentally draining and breaking each other
Grab his phone and delete everything that is you. Good luck
Creeps be creepin, unfortunately. Throat punches work well beyond that, im not sure
Depends on why. If you're crying because your dog died, that's expected, and she'd think there was something wrong with you if you didn't. Crying because she made you cry would be a disaster.
She might have a panic attack when she thinks about what her actions eventually did to you and your marriage and that everyone will know what she did to you, but that is the reality and she has to face it someday. It happened and there is no denying. Her actions obliterated your trust and once it is gone it stays gone. No matter how well you are doing one day it flashes into your brain…how easily she went behind your back to have sex with this guy, gave him everything that she wouldn't give you. You gave her time to adjust, she might need help from her therapist but one day she will live with it and maybe regret it but you will both live your lifes separate. Then your new life will begin.
So she was approx 18. She didn't want to tell him or get child support from him. Your husband is clearly a fucking creep.
Well what he is doing is wrong you told him how you felt uncomfortable and he ignored you. He’s not good with money too. You can’t live the rest of your life with an immature douchebag. Imagine if y’all had kids how worse it will get. It’s best to leave he doesn’t care how you feel and he is acting like a kid wasting money
Unfortunately not yet, he is too young for school and we do a 60/40 split each week.
It is only natural to feel the way you do. Please know, however, that none of this is your fault. You were deceived as well.
Please drop Ellie as a friend. Anyone who would lie to cheat and then cheat in a way that sounds and fractures your family is not a friend.
Otherwise, the only thing you can really do right now is support your sister. Keep her company; let her know again how much you love her; sit with her even if she is crying or silent; bring her little things that will make her happy; help around her house if you have time. When the smoke clears, she will be so grateful. A true, loyal sister like yourself is worth far more than a cheating husband.
You hurt right now because you are a good person.
is it really that bad?
She's probably not your girlfriend.
Update me
If the two of you were officially “split-up”, I don't see this as cheating. He still feels something toward his ex – who rides on a bus for hours for someone he/she doesn't feel something toward? You seem like you have a classic codependent relationship with your bf. That's a type of relationship that affords very little peace. It sounds like you're perfect for one another. Arguments are a way of life for codependent couples.
I wish she was, she doesn’t want help. every time I bring it up, she doesn’t think therapists care about anything or will understand. She’s tried some medication but didn’t respond well to it, so I’m trying to be open and accommodating here.
Unfortunately I’ve taken most of the parenting duties as well as working full-time, she stays at home.
I’m no saint though. I run out of patience quite often.
Pretty poor expectation that your boyfriend should jump in to save you from essentially nothing. Of course, not nothing nothing, something obviously happened but as long as you guys got away from there would have been the main thing after the first SA.
It appears that you wanted him to jump in and defend you honour? Doing that would have probably got him bashed…so there is that side of the coin
That perspective makes a lot of sense .. and is something I will deeply try and understand. Thank you.
Oh my god, stop dramatizing this is not an ultimatum. She communicated with you, like a Real adult, how she sees her life going. If you don’t see yourself fitting in it then remove yourself or prepare for her to remove you from it. She’s not forcing you to do anything. Also if you don’t see yourself get married until you’re ready that’s your right, but stop wasting her time. She has a vision for her life don’t get in the way of that or tell her she’s wrong
The person above is talking to you about abstract concepts like “politics” and “philosophy.”
I just want to point out that in practical, real life terms, needing an abortion one day is something you might have to face.
Facing it with an unsupportive bf who does not think you should have any right over it, calls you a murderer etc, would make a difficult situation 100x more difficult.
It’s bad, love. It’s bad ?
And where do you think people learn about sex nowadays?
From porn.
Yes, you are TA. Chill out.
If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.
Its normal for food service. As long as it isn't effecting her ability to do her job. Id be surprised if her boss didn't have a pen themselves.
Do you have a place to go?
Are you laughing at your own post?
Run! That's one big baby trap on two legs.
So disrespectful to simply overstep your expressed wish not to have children right now.
Deliberately turning a used condom one said to flush (knot them closed and pull on the knot next time around! Gets harder to get at the content) …
… inside out and trying to get pregnant with it reveals a high level of criminal energy within that girl.
And very likely the thought, that baby trapping a man provides economical safety or the stability of a relationship/ a marriage.
She also may think, that “you may in time come around to wanting kids” once she gets pregnant.
On the other hand: you are not that much better.
Why did you snoop her phone? That's disrespectful also.
You don't need to justify it to him. Say, unequivocally, “I do not want to be with you. We are not dating any longer. You do not get a say in this. I will not entertain arguments about it. Goodbye.” And leave it at that. Just stop talking to him, stop responding, stop engaging.
If you feel he would be dangerous upon hearing this, do it with a friend present, over a call, or in a public place. Be sure he has no access to your home or finances, too.
Is this a troll? You are about 12 steps of a 12 step program away from ‘a brand that reminds me of my childhood’. I have Disney obsessed friends, that’s fine. Love it, own it. They know and admit to being Disney cult. It’s a thing, and you will eventually find your cult match. There are a solid number of men out there. This current ex is not the one.
You membah when he could last 10 mins? I don't
I'm not saying she's emotionally draining. Sometimes I don't have the energy to entertain her the way she needs me to but I do it because I love her. Yall are missing the point.
Wait, he's supposed to buy them gifts after you father spit in his face? lol, no. Your parents are the ones being culturally insensitive, not your boyfriend. I'm with him on this one, the next move to be made by either party is for your parents to apologize for being huge assholes. Nothing happens until that does. Except, of course, possibly him breaking up with you for choosing your parents over him.
Wait, so has she been cheating then because it’s the same level of disrespect. That sounds more like a justification for some action she has done.
Sorry that I typed that in a confusing way! She initially took a large pay cut to get into her field, she now makes very good money and financially we could afford a second cheap vehicle if needed as we both have good paying jobs. There will be the odd position that comes up with the hours we want with the work I don’t hate but they aren’t available right now and don’t come up often. I’m stuck between her urgency for evening help, and the work that is currently posted that doesn’t make me miserable ?.
Yeah that’s a landlord not a partner.
In your shoes, I'd at least hear what they have to say before making a decision.
You work, he doesn't, so why do you have to get his permission to buy a car? Now I could understand if the roles were reversed, but that isn't the case. I say you want a new car and can afford it then there's your answer.
Why are you planning on bringing more people into your family then, if he's not in a good place emotionally or financially, and makes you feel like you need his permission to spend your money on necessities?
She is a serial cheater. Dude, get rid of her!
It’s because he doesn’t want to be a parent. Probably never wanted to be a parent, but gave in to pressure from friends, family, you etc when he found out you were pregnant.
So prepare yourself for solo parenting, do not expect him to contribute to anything (I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to find a way to not pay child support)
Get your support network together, let everyone know he’s persona non grata and continue to be an awesome Mom to your child.
Why does he want to be with you if he feels that way? This relationship is a waste of your time, you will be happier with someone who respects you.
My husband used to do this not to test me but because he's got anger management issues. I basically started to call him out on it, and saying I don't have time for stupid games so he can either tell me what's wrong or continue sulking like an 8yr girl.
If there isn't something else that's keeping you with this guy, I would frankly break it off. BUT it also kind of seems like he thinks you're cheating??? So he might say something like 'I knew it! It's because you have someone else!'
So be ready for that lol
Some life lessons cost $50 to learn, I guess.
I'm so glad I'm deep enough in Reddit to understand this
play with fire .. you will most likely get burnt .
it's not a major life decision. it's one day.
He will use the number, but not asking for help. He will ask her to lunch or coffee next.
Its in the players handbook
Did you read the same post I did?
I just really care about him and don't want to hurt him
Playing games isn’t gonna get you anywhere queen. Be direct and honest about what you want! If he doesn’t want the same thing then you can move on knowing that you gave it an honest try.
It sounds to me like he is just one of those people that needs to spend a decent amount of time alone doing his own thing. It’s probably nothing personal; but if you’ve talked about it with him and the two of you aren’t on the same page about committing to spending more time together than it could be a deal breaker. Neither one of you are in the wrong here, you’re just not on the same page as far as what your looking for.
You will never convince him because he wants it this way. He has successfully groomed you and separated you from any support. He is a narcissistic abuser and it will only get worse.