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gatita737 Public Chat Channel
Date: February 11, 2023
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gatita737 Public Chat Channel
I strongly recommend a change in either therapists or the focus of her therapy if it's not helping. Intensive pain management. Online support groups for her with others with her condition. Can she go to art or water therapy and meet other real life people? Has she no friends from her job that could stop by for a cup of coffee/tea? Those can possibly provide things she hasn't thought of as well as a place for her to vent as well as receive support that is not from you.
Caregiver burnout is very real, but in your case it seems that the physical is okay, it's her depression, sadness and negativity that is really grinding you down. You aren't a therapist, and she needs other outlets for those issues. If she can do these things and you only have the physical to deal with (and even less of that as if her mental health improves, her physical health will likely follow suit), you'd both be in a far better place than you currently are.
I have a very good friend. She fell in love. Got married. Found out her husband is secretly gay. (Visited Truck Stops).
They got divorced but were such good partners that she moved back in with him. They are best friends now (for years) BUT he cannot admit he is gay EVER. She leaves it alone.
I wouldn't stay, she sounds like a drunken party girl and they are always drama
Think about what you really want and what you’re comfortable with. Don’t let anyone guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do.
Yes, you said it perfectly.
Have fun with her. She sounds like a real treat.
The ghosting + “I got scared bc of my feelings” excuse wouldn’t work for me. Even if it’s all true, it shows he’s flaky and too immature engage in the bare minimum of communication. I think ghosting is cowardly and disrespectful.
You will make the very best father! If that’s what you crave you deserve it. She did you a favor, now you don’t have to share a child with an evil selfish person! I’m so sorry you’ve been treated like this.
Mama.. You are so right. People just don't get it. I dated a girl.. We had the greatest sex ever !! But outside of the bedroom, we were a 0.0 on the personality/compatibility scale.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Why tolerate this behavior? Don’t apologize. Don’t follow after her. Don’t enable it. Let her know you want to talk when she comes to her senses, and that’s it.
And don’t answer stupid hypotheticals in the future if this is where it gets you.
Thats bad she lied, but I also have a big issue with the “not respecting my boundaries”. Uh, does she expect you to not ask any questions and be happy she lied for the amount of time she lied? Thats terrible of her.
I would ask your friend for the whole truth. If his story is different from hers, end the relationship immediately. If its the same, you have to force her to apologize for lying, never again be bad to you over her own actions, and make sure she rebuilds the trust you have in her. If she won’t do all those things? Break up with her.
Even if he did say yes, it's still not consensual considering he was black out drunk.
Do you, though? Your whole post here is about how he doesn't respect you, you have a hard time communicating your feelings to him, he completely ignored something you said was important to you, he literally risked your life by driving drunk on the motorcycle, and he was rude to you. How is that a good couple? Good couples support each other, communicate with each other, respect each other, and try to make each other happy. He is doing the exact opposite of that.
Even with evidence of inappropriate texts, she will never admit it. She will say the texts were joking.
Stop asking.
Call her parents. Inform them she's having an affair with the coworker (let her prove otherwise). And they'll soon be out of town together.
Let her try to stonewall her parents .
I want you to reflect on something. If this guy is hitting on her then he is doing so with a girlfriend. Do you really believe that her mentioning she has a boyfriend would stop a guy who doesn't care about cheating? If anything it can send the opposite message, the implication 'if I didn't have a boyfriend I would definitely add you' or the like.
Seems this is more a pride thing than an actual practical solution to the reality a lot of pushy guys hit on women. Many find it easier to just humour it but play passive. Because any excuse she gives from I have a boyfriend to not interested may be met with him getting upset, saying 'what, I didn't even ask you out' and etc. That can easily be thrown in her face and likely she is aware of that.
The other thing is that they only went to two sessions of couples counseling and haven’t gone in a month. Man, I wonder why there’s so many problems in one month? Maybe go back to counseling? Dad is super bias, he needs to talk to a professional.
I couldn't finish reading it, I though “16 year olds drama”
What's the matter with you
Stay safe, OP.
I stopped at homophobic/ transphobic. Listen already if you are with someone you honestly dislike enough to make an excuse not to see them because you need a break then I don’t think that’s someone you should be with. On top of that he sounds like a genuinely dislikable (from my perspective) person and I don’t understand why you would WANT to be with someone like that?! What is it about this relationship you’re trying to mend? You don’t have fundamentally the same life views … what are you getting from him other then time you already spent together?
I knew a guy raising 3 kids, and at least 1 wasn't his…he killed himself. I have 0 problems with making a test part of the process.
OK is somebody in recovery not from drugs but alcohol the first few years are awkward anyway because you don’t even know who you are. And you’re working so hard to stay clean that a relationship is almost secondary.
I think it’s OK for you to move on and find somebody that’s a little more well-adjusted. If she were 10 years sober, that would be a whole other thing, but she still relatively new so she’s trying to learn how to be a human being a human terms.
I’d go through phones and emails that I could access. Take pics of the lingerie so she can’t deny.
And then confront her. When she denies then I’d ask for her phone to prove it.
As you think it’s over all ready you have nothing to lose.
She isn't ready to be in a relationship. You deserve someone who is all in. Focus on taking care of yourself.