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emilycurvy chat
Date: October 6, 2022
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emilycurvy chat
She’s very inappropriate. I don’t think your husband was trying to encourage it, but it was not cool.
Exactly. Try not to feel bad for freezing and not knowing what else to do. It's a very common reaction in such situations, unfortunately. I've been in similar situations in my youth and was too scared to say/do anything in the moment and that made ne feel stupid and like it was my fault somehow. It is not your fault. Hammer that into your brain. It is not, not, not your fault. Dude is a creep. HE did something wrong. Not you. Good on you for telling people about it. I hope this never happens to you again, but if it does, try to feel okay with making a scene. HE should feel bad and awkward and icky. It's difficult to stand up for ourselves sometimes out of fear of feeling awkward or even perhaps trying to downplay what is going on. But I assure you: it is 100% okay to tell creeps to keep their hands off your body. His mother is an asshole too, by the way. If my son ever pulled something like that, I sure as hell wouldn't be calling the victim and saying he just likes you. Holy crap.
Everyone has relationship issues. They don't get black out drunk around their 8 month old baby and 2 year old toddler. That was her choice. She could have chosen to talk to him about being unhappy with their sex life, or even leave, but she chose to endanger her children by getting black out drunk every day.
You seem to be projecting quite a bit.
It seems like all you want to do is encourage her and give her excuses for continuing this behavior? That's called enabling.
She's not a victim. Her children are.
If you're being serious you definitely have a lot to learn about interacting with brat-wives. I'd look into brat play to give you a bit of insight on her.
Her best friend is garbage and you should marry her now since she got all that out of her system.
“He’s a good father and he offers me stability. He’s got a good job and helps me with house work and kids etc. I work full time and also have a really good job. We work well together on a practical terms like with the kids and the house stuff.”
You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Despite your struggles early in the relationship, and your husbands poor behavior, you are only using that to justify your poor behavior. You had the choice then to leave, but you chose not to. You have the choice to leave now too. Staying because you want the continued stability that the relationship offers is parasitic.
Tell your husband what happened so that he can choose what he wants to do.
Why is not bringing up your best friend a lie? Like why is this even a thing?
I have two best guy friends. One I flew 1300 miles to stay with (while dating my current bf) and one I was just a groomswoman in his wedding, and also spent 3 nights for the bachelor party with him and 3 other dudes, one being an ex from 13/14 years ago.
No one has turned me down because of it? I've never “broken the news” either like it's something to be worried about. The fact you address it like it could be a red flag is why they think it's a red flag.
Based on what you've written, there's no hope of saving the marriage.
Let me tell you a story and then you draw the conclusion. My wife was in this situation, she had a colleague who took her by car on the way home, but only when there was bad weather outside. I told her that if she was comfortable she could do it more often, but she said no because they don't find it ok for several reasons. One that I think I know is that she had another colleague at another job who did that and married him after and didn't want to put herself in a possibly interpretable situation.
The only thing left to do is tell him you know what he’s been doing and since he continues to behave in ways that he knows hurt you very badly, you are planning on seeing a lawyer and initiating divorce.
Either this is enough to shock him out of his fog, or you have no marriage left and continuing on to divorce us the only choice you have.
He doesn’t believe there are any consequences to his behavior. The pain you are experiencing over and over again is not enough. He needs to experience the pain of losing you.
If you want more help, hit up r/survivinginfidelity (for a more divorce oriented take) and r/AsOneAfterInfidelity (for reconciliation oriented take). I also recommend looking at u/throwyouaway52’s profile for guidance on an effective confrontation. See her earliest posts, culminating in Tonight he finds out I know (comments on this one too) and her follow up, it went better than expected.