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Date: October 8, 2022
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There's something odd here. I can't really put my finger on it. But therapy almost certainly would help.
Can you imagine? ?
Can you specify what sort of gun? Is it for sporting purposes? Self defense? If it’s just for sporting, he could store it disassembled with the ammo locked up, keep it locked up with multiple methods of security, or don’t keep ammo in the house. It seems to me the issue is not the gun, but your consideration of suicide. There are a multitude of ways a person could do that without needing a firearm. I think that is the issue that you need to address. I think if you would get to the point where you would want to commit suicide you would find a way with or without a gun. I think you seriously need professional help, and I hope you are doing ok
You didn’t know your ID has your birthdate?
I know men are allowed boundaries, but I acted without thinking, and now this is the situation. It sucks and of course I feel terrible about breaking his privacy. But I paid the deposit for the apartment with my money, that I got from selling my stuff back home. Everything I own is here. But you make a valid point and I’m thankful for your input 🙂
Sorry about the consequences. Maybe you should try going to a therapist.
Don't take a break. Just break up
Since year 11 in the UK, that's when she was 15 and I was 16
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I'm not sure if it's more of a “what should we do with it as a couple”, or rather a “how should I deal with this insecurity on my own” question, but let's go.
Background:
My lover is an artist, with a degree from the best arts academy in my country. Many known artists graduated from there. She also finished one of the top schools. I think she really is one of a kind. A very bright person, with immense knowledge of visual arts, literature, nature, biology and history. Not only she has this knowledge, but she's way above average intelligence. It looks like she sees like 5 times more than other people and it is very inspiring. She uses the most poetic kind of language I have ever heard, I don't recall anyone describing their feelings this way. She's also on the autism spectrum and pretty straightforward with her opinions. And honestly… I'm feeling kinda tired and sad lately.
When she listens to music – it is the most exquisite and original you can find. Either that or it has to have great poetic lyrics. The music I enjoy is met with a blank stare.
When I talk about some idea I had before sleep – she says she remembers this topic from the first philosophy lesson in high school.
When I take her out to eat, or when I make breakfast – the food is always just ok. She has like one place where she eats the same dish like 3 times a week and according to her it's like made by God, the rest is just too salty, too oily, too hot, too sweet, etc.
When I wear a new cologne – she says “hey, don't be offended, but don't wear this cologne next time we meet”.
When she's travelling – only wandering around and finding original places and talking to people can be called traveling. My usual way, which is visiting places which the city I visit is known for (museums, churches, etc. is not traveling in her opinion)
She only wears cashmere or merino wool, everything else is regarded as bad or artificial. Although I gave her a merino wool hat and it's not warm enough in her opinion.
I'm also someone who makes visual art for a job. I showed her some of my work – met with no comment. She often talks about some genius artist she met though.
She loved one person in her life and I'm not that person. I told her – just talk to me like a friend then. She replied with brutal honesty – “You're not a friend yet.”
She had lots of wild sex, because she has problems with achieveing sexual pleasure, so she tried a lot of things. I'm pretty vanilla and don't even know what to do with her in bed most of the time. She says she wants me to be more dominating, but how can I be, if I'm not sure if she even wants to have sex (She's not really sure most of time rarely has an orgasm, even playing with herself and has little libido.)
Today I just kinda snapped. She told me she thinks there's something wrong with my audio setup. She said “Something's very wrong, I have ears, you know. Goodnight.” I replied “Yo” and she immediately got confused, because I always reply with “Goodnight”, but I played it cool. I feel like there's almost nothing that can make her content, or maybe there is, but I'm none of that. I honestly have no idea what she sees in me, she doesn't even laugh at my jokes. She thinks I'm handsome and that's all I know and I'm not even sure about that, because she calls a lot of guys handsome. I just feel so small and pedestrian.
At the same time, I know she doesn't say it to annoy me – I honestly think she has such high bar to finding something good enough or even tolerable (she's also highly sensitive to smells and touch) that it's like my self esteem takes a constant beating. Lately I just stopped doing some things because inevitably we'll talk about it and she'll voice her negative opinion.
What is the problem here? Is it my envy? My self-esteem? The way we communicate? I feel very confused.
[EDIT: Formatting]
Sounds like a classic MLC liaison (with a very accomplished player). You need to protect your own interests here as your husband may well be too stupid (and head over heels in affair fog) to realise that if he was a postman or stacking cans in the local supermarket, she wouldn’t give him a second glance.
Don’t skimp on this. Go down the PI route. Get your evidence and proof gift wrapped and ready to go. DO NOT confront him. You know and he doesn’t know that you know. Knowledge is power. Use this time wisely. The very moment that you confront. Everything will spiral out of control. You’ve done brilliantly so far. Just keep that going. Good luck. ❤️
Don’t spend your energy on someone who constantly gives you reasons why they wouldn’t be with you.
Give your energy to someone who expresses reasons to be with you. Give it to someone who wants to go on adventures with you. Give it to someone who builds you up.
You’re only 25. Go out and have a fun life free of someone who is obsessed with your non-existent, hypothetical weight gain. (Seriously. Why does he keep talking about it?)
Nope. It’s time to ask her for help learning how to get her off.
You’ve got 13 days.
This may be a stretch (I’m a lot older than you) but one way to help calm things down would be for you both to agree that you won’t have “discussions” over text.
I’m not making any kind of excuses for her – but what exactly does she mean “she believes you don’t care as much as you should”
The only way to settle that is through actual verbal communication aka a talking to each other face to face and making eye contact while you talk.
You can ask her “what exactly do you mean and what do you need from me ?”
You’re not a mind reader, if she’s not specific with her complaints how are you supposed to react ?
If you plan to be together when you’re done your training ….. (however long that is) try to focus on just the next 13 days and leaving for your training on good terms. You can do that as a couple and do what’s right for your baby.
Dump her and send amazing pictures of the Pacific Crest Trail you hike! Then ask her how the mountains looked from business class.
(I’m a looser but it’s nice to dream big)
Interestingly, this version appears nowhere on the Internet before Reddit invented it, and the real saying is quite old and has the obvious meaning you would imagine, namely, family over friends. It is part and parcel of reddits love for going NC that it should invent this expression. It’s not a bad one, it’s just recently created as a variant in the real one.
From where I’m sitting, your BF looks like misogynistic (incel?) know-it-all ass with shit logic and poor control over his emotions. I recommend you go find a decent human being to share your life with (hint: those are the real men who your bf refers to as pussy ass yes men).
No but the amount of trust you have in someone should absolutely affect your decision to have a child with them?? Am I in the fucking twilight zone or something?? Who in their right mind would go “ah I bet Theresa would fuck any dude that passes her.. yeah I want her to have my baby”?
No. Piss off with your transphobia. “lol”
You’re parents might not be as happy as them seem, you say the infidelity is recent, and infidelity in relationships typically takes 2-5 years to recover. It’s not just about forgiveness, but whether you could ever trust that person again.