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  1. If you are both scientists:

    Do more research in mOS of metastatic colorectal cancer particular to patients with brain metastases. Ask your medical oncologist to give an honest answer as to typical survival in the particular setting of brain metastases; NOT for all comers with stage IV colorectal cancer- brain mets changes the mOS drastically. I question whether you are understanding the statistics given to you in a meaningful way. Did they give you a 5 year OS based on the SEER statistics? Or did they give you a median OS?

    You are 45 and have an aggressive colorectal cancer. Could you have a genetic syndrome that you could pass to your children? Again, if you are a scientist, you should understand the concept of penetrance. Have you been offered immunotherapy as first line? That means you have a mismatch repair mutation, and a higher chance of Lynch syndrome. However, if it is this aggressive, perhaps you have a BRAF mutation- in which case Lynch syndrome is incredibly unlikely. Particularly if you meet the Amsterdam criteria you are more likely to have Lynch- check your family history. Get a genetic test- do you want your children going through what you're going through?

    There might be more information that you should look into before making further decisions. Get your medical oncologist to be straight forward about what they expect your disease course to look like, and tell your oncologist about these fertility decisions. At the very least, chemo will affect your fertility and you should be doing sperm banking yesterday if not for immunotherapy. I not sure that the effects of immunotherapy on fertility is well known. Have a very very detailed chat with your oncologist.

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  2. Sure, he should tell her because it's right to be sensitive. However, I keep saying that this is very suspicious to me. It seems to me that he's still harboring feelings for his ex and has no business being in a new relationship. First of all he moved on pretty quick after they divorced. I mean, 12 years is a long time to be with someone just to suddenly move on 6 months later. I honestly think that the fertility issues contributed to their divorce.

    I think he wanted kids and she couldn't have them so they're divorce happened because of that. I think that he's still harbor's feelings for her and doesn't want to admit it. I really think that he should put his relationship with his fiance on pause and examine whether or not he's actually over his ex. I get wanting to be sensitive but the fact that he's worried about hurting his ex is indicative of the fact that he still has feelings for her whether he wants to admit it or not. It's just really not adding up.

    He can claim that he's over her all he wants but that doesn't mean it's the truth. His fiance deserves better than to be the rebound for someone who still wants to be with their ex but couldn't because of circumstantial reasons. If I was her, I wouldn't want to be in the relationship anymore knowing that. I would want to be with someone who was 100% in.

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  5. Your husband is a rapist. I hope you and your sister can both heal from this. Please get as far away as possible from that man.

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  6. I think you may be overthinking things a bit. I've been through this as well, but an easy way to try and calm this is to think: has your partner exhibited any of these behaviors that happened in your past? Have they been understanding about other aspects of your life? After you assess this, you either talk to them, or talk with your therapist more about your feelings. A lot of fears within relationships end up being a tad irrational, and that's okay. As long as you work on behaviors that correlate with the fear and work on aspects of sharing your thoughts.

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  7. You wouldn't even make a move when a girl would almost straight out tell you to make a move? Do you think I should text him once more and see if he wants to hang out?

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