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Or maybe he saw something wasn't working and tried to find himself and what he likes and realised he is polyamorous. I'm not saying it's one way or the other, I'm saying there's no need to be vile towards a person we know nothing about just because they have an unconventional, to us, type of relationship.
After all OP, even though she is an unreliable narrator, didn't really describe any flaws other than sexual incompatibility. He wasn't a deadbeat, he wasn't perpetually unemployed, he wasn't abusive, he didn't cheat. So why are we bashing someone for having moved on 8 years after his divorce? Seems rather unreasonable to me.
You're at the point of the relationship where these conversations naturally happen and I don't blame you for being nervous- these are potentially large incompatibilities and if you want kids time is definitely a factor. I would think of this as how much time you're willing to wait for a decision with the knowledge that actually trying for kids is going to add at least a year to the timeline. Do you want to know for sure by November or this year if y'all would both want to settle down and have kids? Next November? Is it a deadbreaker if you can't be a SAHM after the kids are in school, or if he never moved from the city?
I know you love this guy, but love isn't enough. The more openly you're able to communicate about these things with him (and the more honest you're able to be with yourself about when you want to have those kids) is going to make all the difference. Especially considering how much older he is then you.