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I think you should tell him, not everything if you’re not comfortable yet, just that you have some trauma in your past and you need him to respect your boundaries and not be pushy about it.
The thing about sexual trauma, especially as a child is that it feels like your body has been weaponised against you. Our bodies are supposed to be our safe places and that gets violated. It can take a lot of therapy and a lot of introspection and self work to start healing the damage that was done.
My ex often said tactless things like that.
He said his exes had bigger ass/boobs. He’d tell me which of his female friend he found attractive. He said he would fuck one of his coworkers if he was single and had the opportunity. He’d say stuff like ‘’I don’t know if in a year from now I’ll stop being in love’’ or ‘’statistically, there is probably someone better for me on the planet’’
I couldn’t figure out if he was just stupidly honest, or trying to make me feel like shit.
Long story short – it didn’t work.
If your bf says things like this, he doesn’t care how it will make you feel. This is not ok.
It doesn’t matter whether a graduation is boring and a concert is exciting; it’s about a person supporting their partner. It’s also about honoring someone who was determined enough to spend five years completing a major life goal and the one time there is to celebrate that. Clearly, as others have stated, she’s made her priority clear and it shows little respect for you, IMO. Good grief…imagine having to take a few hours out of one’s life to attend a “boring” ceremony, that’s so terrible! That’s part of the problem with society nowadays…so much focus on what’s in it for us over what’s the right thing to do…
Congrats on your degree, it’s quite an accomplishment! Celebrate yourself by taking a great trip without her.
-MBA class of 2005
You’re his beard.
This cant be a real post?? It just cant!
Thank you, yeah it has definitely given me more doubts about the value I have to him
He's adamant on it being true. I know it's not healthy to wait. I told him I don't want him to think I will wait around for him even though deep down I hope it's true I don't want to tell him that. He said he knows I won't wait but that he truly believes we will meet again. Looking back the timing is not realistic. He's got a lot left of school and we can't live in the same city for a couple years. So maybe we were hopefully or naïve but am I wrong for hoping that we do meet again? i'm still in shock maybe it's day 1
It means he has no idea how to describe what he is feeling but it seems good lol.
Think the big thing I need to do is just push past that intense anxiety I have had over making new friends outside of how I had with everyone I am close to (school). Know it is harder but I know I can do it
Tell her that you don't give cheaters the secret formula, she's a plankton now
That’s not a political view, this is psychosis.
That would be it for me, especially with your added note of his anger issues being displayed prior.
These things can sometimes progress over time. Please keep yourself safe. Think of what you would tell your best friend to do if she told you this.
I know it's hard to just shake off feelings and I am sure he meant a lot to you. Think about the reason(s) you broke up and things you could do now, which you could not do while you were with him. This tells you a lot about what could go wrong again in the future and even how he might have been holding you back. I don't know what happened between you and him, but I am sure you didn't break up for nothing. Stay strong and I truly hope your days will soon be bright again.
The way you casually say “he has been on dating apps behind my back” like it's just normal morning routine. Pick your shattered self respect off the ground and dump his ass. Of course you're out of trust when he's been a cheating douchebag.