Is there any way you could go to therapy? That seems like the best path of action here.
A therapist can help you figure out if medication could help, or if there are other concrete actions you can take to help feel more balanced.
If that's not an option, I am not feeling super confident on what to tell you as advice, so take everything I say here with a grain of salt. Generally: the way you describe talking to your bf it seems like you two have emotionally open, honest conversations. That is great! Don't try to change that, keep telling your bf how you feel. If you're worried about mood swings influencing you too strongly, maybe it could help writing your thoughts and feelings down before talking to your bf. And breathing exercises can be helpful for anxiety, too. And find comfort things you can do to ground you: music, snuggling up in blankets, a bath, exercise, whatever you can think of.
You are looking up sexual assault data from the National Institute of Justice because she’s having some drinks in college?
I’m sorry, but it sounds like you’re really going down the rabbit hole, “fortune telling” some awful scenarios, and jumping to some pretty extreme conclusions.
Life doesn’t work out the way you want it to just because you make a plan for it.
We don’t have that much control over other peoples lives (nor should we) and sometimes we don’t even have that much control over our own lives.
You can’t order her to not drink until she’s 21, and only get tipsy, after that, etc. She’s not a child.
People don’t have to stick with contracts they disagree with. She changed her mind, and enjoys trying these new “vices.” If you insist upon trying to enforce “our rules” you probably won’t have to worry about leaving her much longer.
don’t waste your time on a girl that obviously doesn’t care about you like that. see if the other girl can make a genuinely good FRIEND. if you find that she’s s great friend who you can see taking it further with, then do so. if not, then you know the answer.
You don't help people resolve their issues, you help them help themselves.
You can't change other people, but you can help your partner come to terms with their issues.
Who let this be a lesson to you and to your own ego, that you need to support your partner. If they don't want to and they vehemently tell you they don't want to, maybe you should take that as a sign not to push.
Wow OP. I’ve been cheated on multiple times with multiple partners (thankfully not a fiancé). It’s pretty much the worst pain I’ve felt in the world. I’m happy you have friends taking care of you.
It sounds like you know what you need to do, but know Internet strangers are thinking of you. Seriously, my heart goes out to you.
Yeah I'm sure it probably was load moaning about how said pussy eating felt good or whatever but I'd like to think it's the other way and he was just yelling “mmm mmm good” at her vagina ?
He stated his requirement. He’s not springing it on you at the last minute. You have a choice, knowing he has this expectation. You continue with him or you don’t. If you do, don’t get mad when he follows through on his demand.
Your partner should know.. There are plenty of women who foot the divorce bill via child support and alimony. It is not a one-way street benefiting the woman.
Your partner sounds naive on marriage while being firmly against it. As others have said, you will need to weigh how important marriage is to you.
A prenup could be a middle ground. This would protect you also if your career takes off well beyond his.
Marriage was very important to me. A binding contract. A commitment we vowed to in front of our close family, friends, and signed on paper. We dated 8+ years and even owned a home, vehicles together before marriage, but I would not have dipped my toe into growing a family without being married. Just my preference. If you feel similar, this may be a dealbreaker for you. If you don’t feel this strongly on marriage, perhaps you two could move forward with your relationship as-is, now that you understand where he’s coming from.
Don’t respond. You have done the hard part. She’s just curious but it’s everything she needs to know.
You are done. Just relax now.
Is there any way you could go to therapy? That seems like the best path of action here.
A therapist can help you figure out if medication could help, or if there are other concrete actions you can take to help feel more balanced.
If that's not an option, I am not feeling super confident on what to tell you as advice, so take everything I say here with a grain of salt. Generally: the way you describe talking to your bf it seems like you two have emotionally open, honest conversations. That is great! Don't try to change that, keep telling your bf how you feel. If you're worried about mood swings influencing you too strongly, maybe it could help writing your thoughts and feelings down before talking to your bf. And breathing exercises can be helpful for anxiety, too. And find comfort things you can do to ground you: music, snuggling up in blankets, a bath, exercise, whatever you can think of.
I mean as long as you’re both happy that’s all that truly matters
Where does he come from if you don't mind asking?
You are looking up sexual assault data from the National Institute of Justice because she’s having some drinks in college?
I’m sorry, but it sounds like you’re really going down the rabbit hole, “fortune telling” some awful scenarios, and jumping to some pretty extreme conclusions.
Life doesn’t work out the way you want it to just because you make a plan for it.
We don’t have that much control over other peoples lives (nor should we) and sometimes we don’t even have that much control over our own lives.
You can’t order her to not drink until she’s 21, and only get tipsy, after that, etc. She’s not a child.
People don’t have to stick with contracts they disagree with. She changed her mind, and enjoys trying these new “vices.” If you insist upon trying to enforce “our rules” you probably won’t have to worry about leaving her much longer.
I saw your comment about her breaking down so
I hope she's having the time of her life while you stay with the kids at home!
don’t waste your time on a girl that obviously doesn’t care about you like that. see if the other girl can make a genuinely good FRIEND. if you find that she’s s great friend who you can see taking it further with, then do so. if not, then you know the answer.
You don't help people resolve their issues, you help them help themselves.
You can't change other people, but you can help your partner come to terms with their issues.
Who let this be a lesson to you and to your own ego, that you need to support your partner. If they don't want to and they vehemently tell you they don't want to, maybe you should take that as a sign not to push.
(already cheated once),
your fuckboy plans to cheat again
Wow OP. I’ve been cheated on multiple times with multiple partners (thankfully not a fiancé). It’s pretty much the worst pain I’ve felt in the world. I’m happy you have friends taking care of you.
It sounds like you know what you need to do, but know Internet strangers are thinking of you. Seriously, my heart goes out to you.
Yeah I'm sure it probably was load moaning about how said pussy eating felt good or whatever but I'd like to think it's the other way and he was just yelling “mmm mmm good” at her vagina ?
He stated his requirement. He’s not springing it on you at the last minute. You have a choice, knowing he has this expectation. You continue with him or you don’t. If you do, don’t get mad when he follows through on his demand.
Is he going to go halves on the cost of birth control? your sanitary products?
Your partner should know.. There are plenty of women who foot the divorce bill via child support and alimony. It is not a one-way street benefiting the woman.
Your partner sounds naive on marriage while being firmly against it. As others have said, you will need to weigh how important marriage is to you.
A prenup could be a middle ground. This would protect you also if your career takes off well beyond his.
Marriage was very important to me. A binding contract. A commitment we vowed to in front of our close family, friends, and signed on paper. We dated 8+ years and even owned a home, vehicles together before marriage, but I would not have dipped my toe into growing a family without being married. Just my preference. If you feel similar, this may be a dealbreaker for you. If you don’t feel this strongly on marriage, perhaps you two could move forward with your relationship as-is, now that you understand where he’s coming from.