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Date: October 30, 2022
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The issue is I work from home :/ I guess I could take my laptop to a starbucks for a few hrs.
And don't tolerate disrespect ^
Ya, it’s pretty gross and it would bug the shit outta me too. Maybe if you spoke to him and were honest about just how much it bothers you. He gets defensive partly because he knows it’s true and partly out of embarrassment. It would be a dealbreaker for me if I explained myself and they still blew me off.
If she just got a new assistant manager position, she should be able to afford an apartment even if that means she needs to find roommates- so her trying to guilt trip you into allowing her to stay for that reason is null and void. She’s an adult. She can find her own place to live.
If you want to be on more positive terms, tell her you’ll give her a good rental reference so she can find her own place. Personally, I would offer that option first and see how she receives it. If she starts having a panic attack and makes herself ill, call 911. If she leaves with them, start packing her stuff up. If she’s still being difficult, start with eviction proceedings.
Let your family know that she treats you badly and makes you unhappy and you can’t live with her anymore. Hopefully they’ll be more sympathetic. If her family starts to harass you, ignore them. It’s your life, not there’s. If you’re concerned for her mental health and you want them to be aware of it, that’s appropriate to tell them, but otherwise they don’t need to be involved in your relationship.
Downvoted because she made a fake email to make the account with
Do it.
This feels like a shitpost because it goes from some silly ass situation where I'm wondering why you're even posting to you talking about your abusive manipulative insecure boyfriend.
You need some harsh reality. I know we don't get full context from your post but your boyfriend just sounds like a generic dime a dozen abusive boyfriend in your post. He's insecure that you'll cheat on him and this all came from some lame ass minecraft situation.
The way you work on this unfortunately is by realizing you deserve better than the way your boyfriend talks to you and treats you. It's his job to work on his insecurities when he's quite frankly being incredibly unreasonable on his logic on why he thinks you'd cheat on him.
Tldr; one of the few times the advice is break up with your boyfriend.
r/legaladvice
It’s videos of them drinking and dancing together at work dos. When I said they don’t speak outside of work, I didn’t mean strictly office hours ie. 9-5 – I meant as in they don’t see each other unless it’s a strictly related to work and it’s never just the two of them.
Not unless he didn't live with her until after they married. It is possible that OP and the wife didn't live together until after marriage. If the wife was sheltered, she might have lived at home until marriage. Because if she didn't live at home, I think there would've been red flags at her apartment. Like piles of dishes, a filthy bathroom, and a mess in other areas. It would more or less look like a hoarder situation.
I have a feeling that the wife's issues came as a surprise.
No the 3rd option results in pets and kids that deserve a hell of a lot better than mistreatment and neglect from one parent. The kids will inevitably resent you for forcing them to grow up in that.
Part of being an adult is standing up for yourself and realizing you deserve better. If you won't admit you deserve better, why won't you care enough about your cat to see that it does?
If she's so smart, why are you questioning her judgment? Likely she sees you in a similar way to how you see her. Ask her what she likes about you and try to reframe your perspective to see what is actually valuable in a partner. Also, where you are now is not where you have to be in 5-10 years. You're young and have time to figure it out.
She's important to you and you will do your best to be a great partner to her. In a healthy relationship, we are better people when we are with that partner.
so…. you met in september and you’re already pregnant? you have bigger worried
My family is around 2000 miles away. I live in the opposite side of the country. If I do leave I’d have to leave everything I own except what can fit in my car to drive back to the east coast.
Clearly what happened here was, the poor woman was choking, unfortunately the husband, not knowing the Heimlich maneuver, and having an unfortunate aversion to touching food that has been inside someone's mouth, did the only thing he could think of, and used his penis to try and dislodge the object in her throat.
Also, he knew his wife would be proud of him for such selfless action, so recorded it, in order to share at a family movie night.
I stopped reading half through it…it made me sick. You should be more concerned about yourself then about some f*cking picture, how exposed they might show you. This doesnt matter. Make your peace with it, maybe expose them yourself to take the power away from him! And leave! Immediately! Now! Dont wait for more advises. Freakin leave him now. This will not end positvely, no matter how it will end. There will be drama, there will be pain. Better now, then being afraid when it will happen and what will happen. Take the power over yourself back to yourself!
You're right, you should not stay in a relationship with someone who commits to being selfish like that. That selfishness is indicative of other serious problems that will likely arise if they decide to get serious. And you're also right that OP should not settle.
However, if there is any degree of seriousness to this relationship, as opposed to being a slightly romantic fwb, there needs to be the understanding that they are going to grow together and at some times one partner may have to go beyond just meeting in the middle and set the stage cautiously and appropriately, address unspoken emotions, shame, guilt, beliefs, etc., even if they are the ones who are being hurt by the current status quo/actions because sometimes their partner may not be able to see the situation or their actions for what they are. There is no absolute need to do that, but if you leave in every serious relationship when you run across a situation where both parties seemingly don't have any common ground OP will never grow to be able to handle these situations and will disregard potentially, really good relationships once she hits any type of trauma or issues thats make communication difficult.
That said, if OPs partner, and any partner for that matter, cannot or does not address the issue somehow and show growth as well they are showing that they are not a suitable partner now and need to do some growth at best, or may likely never be a suitable partner at worst.
Being sensitive to your partner's traumas, issues, or emotions when you yourself are unfairly being triggered or hurt, etc. is a skill found in truly mature people who can realize the whole nature of interpersonal conflicts and not only navigate difficult circumstances but actively set out to fix them if you believe it is worthwhile.
Your bf doesn’t deserve a second chance. Once is enough to know to walk away.
Thank you, and It’s the same thing with other games too, “hey wanna play warzone?” “Can’t bro I’m to high”
Thanks, I'm going to suggest this to my husband while we are in the cabin
He was mad that I had gone thru his phone
21 is about finding a partner who is compatible with you and your life, doesn’t sound like this one is. You’re both valid for what you want, it just doesn’t fit as a life partner.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it!!
a senior that dates a freshman is a creep
That's on her. Does she think people are never justifiably angry. I would be afraidto be in serious relationship with your gf. She is acting extremely immaturely. Honestly it's a red flag.
Also do not regret getting angry on your mother. Saying that you just need stay calm is something no person with abusive parents would say. People who aren't emotionally scarred can preach from their high horses about forgiveness all they want. It really shouldn't concern you.
r/stepparents
Yeah, I finished journaling through my thoughts. I was about to pop off on him, but like I said I want to be a better person. Not to him but to myself.
So I decided that I am just going ask him for my stuff that is at his house. Exchange things, then just reject all advances. If he asks why I plan to tell him that I can’t trust him when he is talking to her. If he does his regular objections, I am just going to say “I understand but I am going to distance myself.” And I will just repeat myself until he stops.
I love him but I love myself more.
Yeah. She described her options options in the post and chose to have the baby knowing that it would receive love and care from its father. I’m not sure I agree that it’s the “right” choice for a baby, but it’s certainly not heartless.
You are not in love with her. You are in love with an idea of a person she has presented, but that person doesn't actually exist. Figure out what it is about this “person” you like and go find it in someone who is real. I promise you will be happier.
Also, why would you want to be with someone who treats someone they supposedly love like this? She is lying. A lot. And in really hurtful ways. That is not love and you deserve to be loved back.
If you want to find out if threesomes and orgies are for you, better to do it with a casual partner with whom you have no emotional, economic, social, familial investment. If it's something you enjoy, you can look for a more serious partner with the same outlook.
Even then though, there's no guarantee that you won't have a problem having threesomes with someone you are more deeply involved with.
A lot of people might think it's boring and vanilla having a monogamous relationship, but many of those people often have a habit of fucking-up important relationship, or don't give a shit about important relationships.
So you've gone to couples therapy, you're on the same page as regards kids and you're ( Understandably) tired of being the one responsible for birth control. You made a joint decision to not have kids but you've taken all the responsibility for BC. OF COURSE it's fine for you to say you don't want to take on that responsibility any more – that's why you asked him to get the snip. It's ok if he doesn't want to do that now. You can revert to the default, non invasive, non hormonal means of BC – condoms.
The question here is why would you for a second think that you're being selfish or petty on any level to not want to be the one responsible for BC. All forms of BC except condoms affect you physically or hormonally and you want a few years off. You've done it for years and you don't want to any more. Revert to the default BC, condoms, and give him time to think about what he wants to do. It's not at all a spiteful decision, at this point a vascectomy is medically the best, safest form of BC . He can take time and think about it in the interim.
I'm just gonna point out – the effectiveness of condoms over time can reduce down to 80% if used improperly, so it might make sense to use spermicide aswel for your peace of mind. Remember, if this goes wrong you end up having to get pregnant and giving birth. He won't have to be pregnant so make sure and take care of yourself.
Body autonomy, he doesn't wanna get the surgery that's fine.
You don't wanna get pregnant or take birth control also fine.
Unfortunately if don't have good abortion laws where you live you're risking it even with condoms the possibility of a pregnancy, also it seems like he does want to have kids in the future almost like he's hoping to wear you down to eventually agreeing, DON'T, if y'all can't see eye to eye on this just leave.
This guy is double your age, and a cheater and you have plenty of proof. He cheated on someone else with you, he is cheating on you and you know it. What are you doing? Do you really think that this guy will ever care or respect you?
I like this idea as we did have a sort of romantic talking sort of relationship going on. She said that she wants a platonic relationship for the time being so I’m unsure of how I would propose this
Exactly my thought. Like dude! She thought she was getting engaged. Someone at work probably already have her a heads up about the surprise. She was 100% disappointed that it was not engagement. She’s wondering if she wasted the last 3 years of her life. She just had a birthday.
Not once did she apologize to me for her actions or for how she was feeling
Why does your SO have to apologize for feelings, something completely involuntary and out of her control?
Oof. “We’re both in the wrong” is not the take you want here, my dude
Not knowing how to have nice sex/ what you like in bed will affect marriage in most cases. You have no experience, and she does.
Knowing if two people match in bed is very important
Start hitting the gym and eating a healthy diet not only will you improve mentally and physically, attractiveness will be more magnetic. Apps are junky.
Then why are you so surprised he likes Riley?
He said he thought it was from pollen, didn't realise it was from the cat. Which it can totally happen if you have pollen or dust allergies.
You're going to have different types of lessons. You're at the right age to start considering what types of lessons you want to learn, and surround yourself with people who can get you through them. Not as in helping you through them, you're not looking for caretakers or teachers. People are just out living their lives and will react with you and you'll learn from the experiences.
Keep it to yourself unless you’re certain she would want the same thing.
Redditors have this belief that the day a woman turns 25, the oven timer goes off and the brain is fully developed
I just keep coming back to this desperately waiting for an update
It could be actually because you told him you feel insecure about it. He wants to keep reinforcing those insecure feelings. He touches and mentions your belly in front of other people to shame you and make you feel awkward. If he keeps you feeling bad about yourself, you'll never realize you can improve your self esteem and move on without him.
Mods here praying on my downfall lmao, insta deleting all the comments. Bias relationship advice shnizz goin on here.
Of course you need to end this but please be careful. His controlling behavior is very concerning.
he literally said that I can’t do that and that I have no choice in the matter.
This is scary. Don’t be alone with him. Break up via phone. TELL YOUR PARENTS! You need help with this situation.
Please realize that this guy is potentially dangerous.
Good luck!
Heck, there's secrets that are best kept secret, even from family.
There's no need to disclose this type of harmless info to anyone. There's no victims, no harm or damage has been done to anyone.
The comments aren’t loading, but you said he’s threatened to harm himself if you leave him.
That’s a classic abuse tactic. If I were you, I’d look for an agency in your area that helps women with domestic violence. They’ll be experts on abuse and can help you understand what he’s doing and why. Often a place like that offers some free counseling.
You not happy with how much you are making for what you’re doing?
Cut off his access to your pancakes immediately
What an ass
where do you plan to get your long-term income if “social media” doesn't work out?
Your girlfriend is insisting on playing Russian roulette with pregnancy – there is no reason for you to accept this.
Unprotected sex (with someone who is fertile) is just waiting for the pregnancy announcement – and her acting surprised.
Your doubts is likely a big reason for your vaginismus.
Speak with your doctor- you need help.
Finally if you have been together a full year without penetrating sex he probably loves you!!
Get tested. Don’t let this go. Ask her to show the time stamp.
I think in the future if you are looking for exclusivity you need to make that clear from the beginning or you get situations like this, where you thought it was going some way and then are now surprised when his wants dont align with yours.
It sounds to me like he really is just looking for something casual, mainly just wanted to get in your pants from the beginning, and now you've got your feelings hurt because you didn't clarify from the beginning.
He told you pretty nicely that he wants casual. You keep pressuring him about what casual means, but pretty much everyone knows casual means no strings attached either dating other people or just being FWB. You weren't too forward but this is not as complicated as you're making it seem.
From the beginning of the date when you had sex you knew there was some expectation of sex and still went along with it without clarifying your own intentions. To be fair he didn't either, but after asking he clarified only wants casual and you are the one making it complicated and saying you don't do casual but you're still trying to cling to him even though you KNOW he wants what you DONT want.
Just block him and move on.
Coworkers are the biggest source for fair partners. She having a crush with somebody that she’s close to is not a good thing. Except the boundaries that she put up where she cuts off all communication and stays away from the guy. I know you’re trying to be mature and I’m not controlling, but this is a bad situation when she’s crushing on him or you guys are engaged to be married in a short period of time. Maybe you need to ask her about putting the marriage off while she figures out what she’s doing. I might help her get over this crash.
But its over now
Well, there's no putting the cat back in the bag now. To me, the options were pretty much “break up with him and tell your friends why” or “stay with him and keep what he told you in confidence to yourself”.
I personally wouldn't stay with someone who was transphobic, but if that was your intention, I think that option is probably gone. I mean, your friends (some of whom are trans) now knows that he's transphobic, so how would continuing the relationship even work from here?
The best part of a relationship is learning new things about yourself
The only important things to keep an eye on are red flags and your boundaries.