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celeste, 18 y.o.
Location: New York, New York
Room subject: celeste xx (have to be quiet in shared dorm)
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Date: October 29, 2022
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He was going to say goodbye to a family member after a rough 24 hours for both of you. Both of you were irritated and lacking sleep. It escalated when it shouldn’t have. Everyone should apologize sincerely and move on.
She's hanging around in the hope that she will be the one to change your mind.
Usually, people 30+ have little interest in dating a 24 year old, especially if they have kids.
I feel like our issues started once we were married. Then have gradually gotten worse.
Once he had you, there was no need to pretend anymore. He knows you love the kids, he knows you love your employees….so zero chance of you leaving and getting a divorce (well, hopefully he's wrong about that)
It's OUR child
Lol you are leaving work not him, it's obvious you are choosing a date convenient for your coworkers not your bf. You should make this point clear should you ever discuss it again. Do not change anything about this arrangement.
You don't seem to have much to gain out of this. I get that you're trying to be a good person, but maybe it's better to let things unravel themselves. Maybe she'll confess herself, maybe she won't. But there's also a child involved whose life you will be making a massive impact on forever if you choose to tell him.
I dont think your trying to minimize his experience and make alot of sense. You cannot trust someone you fear. If hes afraid of you because of your skin color then you have a deep rooted issue in your relationship. This dosent bode well for a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship between people who love each other.
I have friends who've experienced severe racist. I myself as a fully white person have been jumped, spit on, attacked from behind and bullied for being “white trash”. The trauma from those kinds of experiences arnt something you just get over. Some people are capable of blaming only those who hurt them, some blame the whole lot of em because their pain is that deep. My nephew grew up with a great grandmother who was born a slave..when he says he hates racists and shows anger for her experience you can practically hear the conviction or his words. I think honestly if he hadnt grown up half white and knowing there are good people in this world who love him as he is he too would hate white people. And I couldnt really blame him, maybe not agree but he has all the reason to feel as he feels.
I know it hurts to know he fears white people, you care about him and dont want to think any part of him could be afraid of you. And logically he shouldnt be. But if he is and not willing to find a way to work on atleast trusting you…you may have to walk away. For both of your sakes. And he definitely needs therapy to help him figure out why hes afraid of his own gf just because shes white. I'm sure he has alot of trauma to work through and self reflection. Because most people wouldnt date someone they are scared of so theres alot of confusion apparent .
He really doesn't seem to consider you at all. Personally I'd try to arrange a trial separation. Stay away for a week if you can and see if you miss him.