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Date: October 10, 2022
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It good you came to know about this before marrying her. No second chances. Dump her.
I can only say for myself really.
You could stay with them of course, but i would definitely make sure they firstly they understand that people without these issues would never raise a knife to themselves or others. And make sure they have a support network that isn't you, (do people even know they have mental health problems? Are they in therapy/meds already?).
I never found a way of making my partner less dependent on me, it always got worse, each episode. someone who can't deal with their mental health problems needs a support network to help them get on their feet, and that's not the same as a relationship for them to be dependent on. Relationships have to be in balance, and require work on both ends.
They were abandoned by me, yes, but I made sure that they told their family, and I told their friends that they will need someone to look out for them. Then we broke up. it was rough, and I only made peace with doing it a year or so on when I heard they were doing much better.
It's true tho, I never got a sex ed because I'm 26. It's my first relationship and I never dived in the subject as I didn't need to. It was/is ignorant of me, I know but I don't know how to get fully educated on it.
There’s a lot of complicated feelings here none of them are wrong. He was a kid for most of this and just like your husband manipulated you, your son was probably manipulated as well. Go in with an open mind not just for the happy emotions but the hard ones too. The in-laws are proof you’ve always cared. Don’t focus on the guilt, focus on the fact that you are getting a second chance to rebuild
Yes
I would file a restraining order, you can’t have your kid around him and he’s so bad for you obviously. get therapy, get a restraining order, and as another person said don’t put his name on the birth certificate bc the last thing you want is this guy fighting for custody anytime in the future. good luck
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I have. Blocked on everything so she can’t message me at all. I find it weird, she was still in a group-chat with my sister and cousin after months even though she told me she left it. I got my sister to block her as-well. I want nothing to do with her. If we went out mutually on good terms, it would’ve been so much better but she decided not to. Its her loss now
IKR, plus he never says how long the break was and why. He’s gross!
It's a way of coping with intense emotion. Physical pain often provides an emotional “hard reset”. I struggled with self harm for about a decade starting in my teens to deal with my anger. I didn't have an outlet for it, I couldn't make the feeling go away, and I knew that taking it out on other people was wrong, so I engaged in self harm. Again, physical pain provides an emotional reset. Your husband is engaging in a very mild version of self harm. It does not make him dangerous, but is a sign that perhaps he could benefit from cognative behavioral therapy to learn healthier outlets for intense emotion.
I think I threw up a little in my mouth reading he’s pulled chunks of his teeth out of his mouth. That is beyond disgusting.
Honestly, I don’t understand why you’ve stuck around so long. It’s likely his scent is on you, too, but you’ve become nose blind to it.
He says that he feels that I’m not thinking like an “adult” which was very insulting… and that he wants someone to build a life with and not someone who acts like they are single. I go out once a month or even every 6 weeks or so. Since I love techno shows and raves, I wait until I see a really big DJ is going to be in town and that’s when I go out with friends.
Not much to add, except to say that she seems really hesitant for some reason
Seems like you're more into her than she is to you.
I understand what you are saying about not having time to waste on someone if they aren't interested.
Yes this was initial reaction. I really love him though and I’m struggling with the idea of leaving him.
To add to this…no true friend would be doing this or behaving this way if she cared about your friendship. She wants what you have. It sounds like she will happily take your fiancée away from you (cheating or ending the relationship so he's with her). Dump the so called friend. She does not respect you or normal boundaries. Having said that, he is not treating you with respect by letting her behaviour continue. He likes the attention, it inflates his ego. He could very well tell her not to touch him. I would check his text messages. It starts as an emotional affair..turns into flirting..then physical.
Dump the “friend” ..set boundaries for the boyfriend. Tell him how you feel & how hurt you are.
He knows what he wants more than you do and you’re wasting both of your time.
I was teasing you on that part lol couldn't resist
Man, men like to act like women are crazy or needy or whatever complaints they have and then they turn around and pull this. Marriage is supposed to be in sickness and in health, not only so long as you're hot and your body never changes.
Also its fucking disgusting he conflates you w his mom because you're pregnant with his children, do all pregnant people get the mom treatment of just you? Like that doesn't even make sense
Serious question: what if both parties are black out drunk and have sex? Is it mutual rape, or did the sex not count because neither could consent?
It was the right choice.
You wont ever be more than a booty call to him. You were fun.
The age gap, the marriage, the secrets and disrespect are real. Do not gaslight yourself.
Be strong. Imagine if your 8 yr old self would be proud of you……
We lead by example. Respect yourself, others follow suite or eject from your life.
You already went down this rabbit hole. You were not wrong in your interpretation of the experience. Do not repeat.
Blessings on your journey.
No one respects the spammish imposition.
So many things perfect about this.
That's ok I need a kick in the butt. It's very hard to separate with a house and a dog otherwise I think I would have been out the door last time.
not to be unsensitive, but what you're mourning is not a child, it's the idea of a child. what's actually in your gf's belly is just a bunch of cells which by the way also happen to be partially responsible for her current unhealthy state, which would probably result in a miscarriage later anyway. having an abortion now doesn't mean you're giving up on your child. it just means that now isn't the right time, and that's ok.
Take it as a win. You dodged the mother of all bullets.
How on earth can you take this as a win? I get what you're saying about “at least they weren't married yet,” but have you ever been in that position? It's not a win. He just lost a relationship that meant the world to him. Reddit needs to drop these phrases.
But he didn’t care about his vows, he’s basically using her for his insurance, and cheating because he knows she’s a push over
Dump him, he cheated because he a POS, and thought he would shift blame to make you feel bad
Well I did it incase you did.
Tell him it's over, and i have never been with anyone else since you, but that Is all about to change now I am single.
God too young to be dealing with this honey.
havent we seen how these things mistly end iften enough already?
leave his ass and report him the second he starts threatening you!
I haven’t called her an unstable person once in this thread, I’ve been very careful to clarify that the way she’s acted in the last week borders on unstable, there’s a big difference between that and what you and others are saying
I don't care one bit about defending myself. It was wrong of me to depend on one person for emotional support. But I learned from it and am not a bad person. I am looking for a chance to get back together and be with my son and wife. I can't think of anyone to put in her place.
And I feel remorse at not pointing out the opposite. She could be asking not to alienate the father but to not alienate her son. Her son having a different name from you and her could lead to ‘uncomfortable’ questions or people calling him bastard, or something else. She may just want to protect him. We just don’t know.
Yes, thank you. It’s natural to feel like, I don’t know about this but I’ll see how it goes without making any rash decisions. But the thing you very sagely and helpfully point out is, the longer you stay; the less your ability to leave.
Did she say why?
You break up with him
It’s not the porn. Find someone more compatible or entice him. I masturbate in bed next to my wife watching porn. When she’s in the mood, we go at it.
Tbh I liked his eyes and his face a lot
I think such tests are important because one 1) they solidify trust beyond a reasonable doubt and 2) people cheat and hide about it within marriage and that’s just the reality. It happens to both men and women and I don’t think wanting a test to confirm your relationship is inherently a bad thing.
Keep reminding yourself that it is a two way street. You see your future with Alex, and Alex sees it with only if mom is under the same roof.
Is this a randomly assigned roommate or a friend? Is this through a college—like you’re in college owned housing?
I would just start pretending you don’t hear him, honestly